And the only thing that I have in mind is this motto: to keep on going and to never give up!
So let's not give up and keep on going as we enter into 2013!!
Monday, 31 December 2012
2013
Today's the last day of 2012.
And the only thing that I have in mind is this motto: to keep on going and to never give up!
So let's not give up and keep on going as we enter into 2013!!
And the only thing that I have in mind is this motto: to keep on going and to never give up!
So let's not give up and keep on going as we enter into 2013!!
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Sayonara 2012, Bonjour 2013
Little Red Engine felt relieved that 2012 was almost over with no major, fatal breakdown happening to its engine. It took a lot of sheer will to keep on chugging down the road of Life when at many points, it did not know where it was going. Not forgetting the periods of exhaustion. And the potholes.
Many times, Little Red drove through dense fogs where visibility was near zero. Even with its highlights switched on, it could not see beyond 150 metres. And THAT was scary. Little Red was afraid that it might smash into another vehicle or worse, plunge over a cliff and into a ravine!
Little Red also went through many unexpected flash floods. Going through the flood waters slow and steady kept it safe.
As Little Red drove on the road of Life, many other vehicles whizzed pass it.
It was envious of the Ferrari that was as fast as the speed of lightning. But when the flood waters came, Ferrari lightning was stuck and inched itself to higher grounds.
Then there was the Kancil who could squeeze itself into the tiniest of space when carparks were full. But it was light as a feather and when someone punched the bonnet, it would look as though a meteor had dropped on it.
Oh, and there was the glorious Volvo XC90! It was Little Red's dream car as it looked so regal and grand and sleek and EXPENSIVE! Expensive it was as it guzzled petrol like there was no tomorrow.
So many beautiful automobiles to salivate over. To drool over. To lust for. The Cayenne Porsche, the Audi Q7, the Volkswagen Touareg, the BMW X5. Little Red was so busy admiring and comparing others to itself that it did not realise that it was now stationary at the side of the road drooling over every other automobile instead of moving on.
When Little Red was finally jolted out of its wishful-thinking-dream-like-state, the snow came! But Little Red bravely went through the snow and came out alive, stronger AND wiser. 'No more drooling-at-roadsides,' it told itself.
And then, there was the time when Little Red had a breakdown. Little Red was glad that it had gotten out of the cracks of depression without any major damage to its system.
Then Little Red became lost, not knowing where to go. It was stumped for a very long time. It tried to think back to the times when it was lost and when it could not find the Compass of Life. It tried to duplicate its past actions when it was lost for directions.
2013 was on the horizon and Little Red was still clueless of where it should head to. It became agitated. It was irritated. And it was getting desperate. It started meditating on its bonnet. And then it spun around in circles. It tried EVERY trick which it did in the past. And yet, still no lightbulb. No booming voice from the heavens.
As Little Red sat dejected, an Antique car stopped beside it. Antique car looked very old, but yet wise. You can tell that it had seen a lot and been to a lot of places in Life. Antique car looked at Little Red and said, 'Things never happen the same way twice.' And with that Antique car moved on.
Little Red was awestruck! It suddenly realised that it was hanging on to the past. It was trying to relive the past and thus was stuck in the present. Little Red quickly revved up its engine and caught on with Antique car and drove on the road of Life and into the horizon of 2013.
'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.' - Robert Frost
Many times, Little Red drove through dense fogs where visibility was near zero. Even with its highlights switched on, it could not see beyond 150 metres. And THAT was scary. Little Red was afraid that it might smash into another vehicle or worse, plunge over a cliff and into a ravine!
Little Red also went through many unexpected flash floods. Going through the flood waters slow and steady kept it safe.
As Little Red drove on the road of Life, many other vehicles whizzed pass it.
It was envious of the Ferrari that was as fast as the speed of lightning. But when the flood waters came, Ferrari lightning was stuck and inched itself to higher grounds.
Then there was the Kancil who could squeeze itself into the tiniest of space when carparks were full. But it was light as a feather and when someone punched the bonnet, it would look as though a meteor had dropped on it.
Oh, and there was the glorious Volvo XC90! It was Little Red's dream car as it looked so regal and grand and sleek and EXPENSIVE! Expensive it was as it guzzled petrol like there was no tomorrow.
So many beautiful automobiles to salivate over. To drool over. To lust for. The Cayenne Porsche, the Audi Q7, the Volkswagen Touareg, the BMW X5. Little Red was so busy admiring and comparing others to itself that it did not realise that it was now stationary at the side of the road drooling over every other automobile instead of moving on.
When Little Red was finally jolted out of its wishful-thinking-dream-like-state, the snow came! But Little Red bravely went through the snow and came out alive, stronger AND wiser. 'No more drooling-at-roadsides,' it told itself.
And then, there was the time when Little Red had a breakdown. Little Red was glad that it had gotten out of the cracks of depression without any major damage to its system.
Then Little Red became lost, not knowing where to go. It was stumped for a very long time. It tried to think back to the times when it was lost and when it could not find the Compass of Life. It tried to duplicate its past actions when it was lost for directions.
2013 was on the horizon and Little Red was still clueless of where it should head to. It became agitated. It was irritated. And it was getting desperate. It started meditating on its bonnet. And then it spun around in circles. It tried EVERY trick which it did in the past. And yet, still no lightbulb. No booming voice from the heavens.
As Little Red sat dejected, an Antique car stopped beside it. Antique car looked very old, but yet wise. You can tell that it had seen a lot and been to a lot of places in Life. Antique car looked at Little Red and said, 'Things never happen the same way twice.' And with that Antique car moved on.
Little Red was awestruck! It suddenly realised that it was hanging on to the past. It was trying to relive the past and thus was stuck in the present. Little Red quickly revved up its engine and caught on with Antique car and drove on the road of Life and into the horizon of 2013.
'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.' - Robert Frost
Home-Made Salted Duck Eggs!
Ingredients:
1. 10 duck eggs
2. 250gm of salt
3. 500ml of water
--------------------------------------------------
1. Wash the duck eggs throughly with soap and under running water.
2. Wipe them dry with a kitchen paper towel.
3. Pour the salt and water into a large pot and bring it to a boil.
4. Once all the salt has been dissolved, set the brine water aside to cool.
5. Place all 10 duck eggs in a large, clean airtight glass container.
6. Pour the cooled brine water into the container.
7. In order for the eggs to be fully submerged, place something heavy over it. You can use a small saucer or a plastic bag filled with water (tied tightly) to ensure that all the eggs are fully submerged.
8. Soak for about 2 weeks.
9. You can check if the eggs are ready by taking out ONE egg on the 14th day and cooking it. If it is not salty enough, continue to preserve the eggs in the brine water for a few more days.
10. When the eggs have reached the level of saltiness that you desire, remove them from the container, wash them and wipe them dry.
11. Store them in the fridge for up to 3 weeks.
12. You can eat them with porridge or use them with stir fry dishes.
Bon appétit!
1. 10 duck eggs
2. 250gm of salt
3. 500ml of water
--------------------------------------------------
1. Wash the duck eggs throughly with soap and under running water.
2. Wipe them dry with a kitchen paper towel.
3. Pour the salt and water into a large pot and bring it to a boil.
4. Once all the salt has been dissolved, set the brine water aside to cool.
5. Place all 10 duck eggs in a large, clean airtight glass container.
6. Pour the cooled brine water into the container.
7. In order for the eggs to be fully submerged, place something heavy over it. You can use a small saucer or a plastic bag filled with water (tied tightly) to ensure that all the eggs are fully submerged.
8. Soak for about 2 weeks.
9. You can check if the eggs are ready by taking out ONE egg on the 14th day and cooking it. If it is not salty enough, continue to preserve the eggs in the brine water for a few more days.
10. When the eggs have reached the level of saltiness that you desire, remove them from the container, wash them and wipe them dry.
11. Store them in the fridge for up to 3 weeks.
12. You can eat them with porridge or use them with stir fry dishes.
Bon appétit!
 |
| YUMMY!!! |
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Selamat Hari Natal!
That's Merry Christmas in Bahasa Malaysia.
To all who followed my blog for this past one year, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous, Pain-Free & Sick-Free 2013!
To all who followed my blog for this past one year, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous, Pain-Free & Sick-Free 2013!
Sunday, 23 December 2012
The Big Bad Wolf!
Every year end, there would be an ultra-mega-gigantic book sale where books can go as low as RM2!
I did not go last year as I was unwell.
This year is a different story.
My high school classmate won tickets for me to attend the pre-sale before it was open to the public. So hubby took leave and we went to the pre-sale! YAY!!!!!!!!!
Before I went, I called my friend to make sure that there wasn't a crowd and that the place wasn't stuffy. It was FREAKING cold. The air-cons were working at full blast. The sales was held in a convention hall.
We bought some cooking books and books for Joel. Four big bags and only RM200+. If not for this Big Bad Wolf sales, we would have easily spent RM500+ for our haul of books!
I did not go last year as I was unwell.
This year is a different story.
My high school classmate won tickets for me to attend the pre-sale before it was open to the public. So hubby took leave and we went to the pre-sale! YAY!!!!!!!!!
Before I went, I called my friend to make sure that there wasn't a crowd and that the place wasn't stuffy. It was FREAKING cold. The air-cons were working at full blast. The sales was held in a convention hall.
 |
| Look at the people 'eating' books! Totally mouth-watering! |
 |
| Most of the people who were there had trolleys like the one in the picture above, suitcases or grocery roller bags. |
 |
| I got this for Joel as he wanted it. |
 |
| The baby was at the BOTTOM (at the triangle part) flanked by books at the bottom of the trolley and the top! This was dangerous and crazy. The mother was busy 'feasting away' at the buffet of books. |
 |
| This was only RM12! |
 |
| They even had CDs! |
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| We got this 'tree' for RM12! Joel and I spent an afternoon assembling it. Fun! |
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Candy Cane Butter Biscuits
Ingredients:
1. 1 cup of organic strong bread flour (sieved twice)
2. 1 cup of organic all purpose flour (sieved twice)
3. A teaspoon of sea-salt
4. 2 tablespoons of soft brown sugar
5. 125gm of softened butter
6. 1 tablespoon of active dry yeast
7. 500ml of warm water
8. 1/4 cup of sunflower oil
-------------------------------------------------------------
1. Place the organic bread flour and all purpose flour, sea-salt, brown sugar, active dry yeast, softened butter, sunflower oil and water in a large bowl. (All in the order which I wrote.)
2. Knead until smooth.
3. Cover the bowl with a cling film and leave to rise in a warm place for approximately 45 minutes.
4. Preheat oven at 180C.
5. Punch the dough back down and break small round pieces from the dough. Roll the dough into 15cm sticks. Shape them into candy cane shapes.
6. Place them on baking trays lined with baking papers.
7. Bake them for about 30 minutes or until golden brown.
8. Allow to cool.
Bon appétit!
1. 1 cup of organic strong bread flour (sieved twice)
2. 1 cup of organic all purpose flour (sieved twice)
3. A teaspoon of sea-salt
4. 2 tablespoons of soft brown sugar
5. 125gm of softened butter
6. 1 tablespoon of active dry yeast
7. 500ml of warm water
8. 1/4 cup of sunflower oil
-------------------------------------------------------------
1. Place the organic bread flour and all purpose flour, sea-salt, brown sugar, active dry yeast, softened butter, sunflower oil and water in a large bowl. (All in the order which I wrote.)
2. Knead until smooth.
3. Cover the bowl with a cling film and leave to rise in a warm place for approximately 45 minutes.
4. Preheat oven at 180C.
5. Punch the dough back down and break small round pieces from the dough. Roll the dough into 15cm sticks. Shape them into candy cane shapes.
6. Place them on baking trays lined with baking papers.
7. Bake them for about 30 minutes or until golden brown.
8. Allow to cool.
Bon appétit!
Sunday, 16 December 2012
The Perfect Lentil Dish!
Ingredients:
1. Yellow lentils (250gm)
2. 5 large potatoes (skin peeled and sliced into thin pieces)
3. 500 gm of minced chicken (marinate with sea-salt)
4. Sea-salt
5. Sunflower oil
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1. Heat up a wok. Pour about 3 tablespoons of sunflower oil once the wok is hot.
2. Pour the sliced potatoes into the wok, close the lid and allow to simmer on medium low heat until the potatoes have softened.
3. Fill a large pot with water enough to submerge all the 250gm lentils.
4. Boil the lentils for about 1/2 hour until softened.
5. Drain all the water from the lentils and set aside.
6. Once the potatoes have softened, add the minced chicken and cook until it is thoroughly cooked.
7. Add the lentils and then stir and mix all the three ingredients.
8. Add sea-salt to taste.
9. Serve with hot rice.
Bon appétit!
1. Yellow lentils (250gm)
2. 5 large potatoes (skin peeled and sliced into thin pieces)
3. 500 gm of minced chicken (marinate with sea-salt)
4. Sea-salt
5. Sunflower oil
-----------------------------------------------------
1. Heat up a wok. Pour about 3 tablespoons of sunflower oil once the wok is hot.
2. Pour the sliced potatoes into the wok, close the lid and allow to simmer on medium low heat until the potatoes have softened.
3. Fill a large pot with water enough to submerge all the 250gm lentils.
4. Boil the lentils for about 1/2 hour until softened.
5. Drain all the water from the lentils and set aside.
6. Once the potatoes have softened, add the minced chicken and cook until it is thoroughly cooked.
7. Add the lentils and then stir and mix all the three ingredients.
8. Add sea-salt to taste.
9. Serve with hot rice.
Bon appétit!
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Stir-Fried Pumpkin & Potatoes
Ingredients:
1. 1 large pumpkin (cut into chunks)
2. 4 large potatoes (skin peeled and cut into chunks)
3. 1 large big onion (sliced into thin pieces)
4. 5 cloves of garlic (sliced into thin pieces)
5. Sunflower oil
6. Sea-salt
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1. In a heated large pot, pour about 1/4 cup of sunflower oil.
2. Add the pumpkin, potatoes, big onion and garlic into the pot and close the lid for about 1/2 hour or until the potatoes have softened.
3. Continue to stir the dish on medium-low heat until all the pumpkin chunks have mashed up and potatoes have softened.
4. Add sea-salt to taste.
5. Scoop up onto serving dish.
6. You can serve with rice or noodles or even eat it with bread.
Bon appétit!
1. 1 large pumpkin (cut into chunks)
2. 4 large potatoes (skin peeled and cut into chunks)
3. 1 large big onion (sliced into thin pieces)
4. 5 cloves of garlic (sliced into thin pieces)
5. Sunflower oil
6. Sea-salt
------------------------------------------------------
1. In a heated large pot, pour about 1/4 cup of sunflower oil.
2. Add the pumpkin, potatoes, big onion and garlic into the pot and close the lid for about 1/2 hour or until the potatoes have softened.
3. Continue to stir the dish on medium-low heat until all the pumpkin chunks have mashed up and potatoes have softened.
4. Add sea-salt to taste.
5. Scoop up onto serving dish.
6. You can serve with rice or noodles or even eat it with bread.
Bon appétit!
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Apple + Quinoa Cake
Ingredients:
1. 3 large Red Delicious apples (I could not find any Golden Delicious in any supermarket or market)
* Peel, core and dice the apples.
* Soak the apples in a bowl of salt water and place in the fridge before you start preparing the cake.
2. 3 large eggs
3. 1 cup of sunflower oil
4. 1/2 teaspoon sea-salt
5. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
6. 2 1/2 cups of organic all-purpose flour
7. 1 teaspoon of baking soda
8. 1/2 cup of quinoa
9. 1 cup of soft brown sugar
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1. In a large mixing bowl, pour the sunflower oil and eggs and beat until creamy.
2. Add the sugar and vanilla and beat well.
3. Combine the flour, salt, baking soda into another bowl.
4. Add this mixture to the egg mixture slowly and mix until well combined. The batter will be very thick.
5. Drain the salt water from the apples and fold the apples and quinoa into the batter.
6. Preheat oven at 175C.
7. Prepare a baking tray with baking paper. Pour and spread the batter into the pan. Sprinkle the top of cake with a handful of quinoa.
8. Bake for approximately 45 minutes.
9. Allow cake to cool before serving.
Bon appétit!
1. 3 large Red Delicious apples (I could not find any Golden Delicious in any supermarket or market)
* Peel, core and dice the apples.
* Soak the apples in a bowl of salt water and place in the fridge before you start preparing the cake.
2. 3 large eggs
3. 1 cup of sunflower oil
4. 1/2 teaspoon sea-salt
5. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
6. 2 1/2 cups of organic all-purpose flour
7. 1 teaspoon of baking soda
8. 1/2 cup of quinoa
9. 1 cup of soft brown sugar
--------------------------------------------------------
1. In a large mixing bowl, pour the sunflower oil and eggs and beat until creamy.
2. Add the sugar and vanilla and beat well.
3. Combine the flour, salt, baking soda into another bowl.
4. Add this mixture to the egg mixture slowly and mix until well combined. The batter will be very thick.
5. Drain the salt water from the apples and fold the apples and quinoa into the batter.
6. Preheat oven at 175C.
7. Prepare a baking tray with baking paper. Pour and spread the batter into the pan. Sprinkle the top of cake with a handful of quinoa.
8. Bake for approximately 45 minutes.
9. Allow cake to cool before serving.
Bon appétit!
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Home-Made Rich Sugar Syrup
Ingredients:
1. 2 cups soft brown sugar
2. 1 cup water
----------------------------------------------------
1. Pour the 1 cup of water into a large pan or a pot.
2. Bring the water to a boil.
3. Pour the 2 cups of sugar into the boiling water and stir it consistently.
4. Once the sugar has dissolved completely, remove the pan/pot from the heat.
(*Note: If you want your syrup to be thicker than usual, boil it longer. If you like your syrup thin, remove it from the heat once all the sugar has dissolved completely. Remember that when the syrup cools, it will thicken on its own.)
5. Allow to cool, then keep it in a bottle. (I keep mine in the refrigerator.)
*I am able to upload pictures again. The granola bar pictures are up. Click here to view.
1. 2 cups soft brown sugar
2. 1 cup water
----------------------------------------------------
1. Pour the 1 cup of water into a large pan or a pot.
2. Bring the water to a boil.
3. Pour the 2 cups of sugar into the boiling water and stir it consistently.
4. Once the sugar has dissolved completely, remove the pan/pot from the heat.
(*Note: If you want your syrup to be thicker than usual, boil it longer. If you like your syrup thin, remove it from the heat once all the sugar has dissolved completely. Remember that when the syrup cools, it will thicken on its own.)
5. Allow to cool, then keep it in a bottle. (I keep mine in the refrigerator.)
*I am able to upload pictures again. The granola bar pictures are up. Click here to view.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Game of Thrones
Yes, this is another post on poop! You must be thinking that I must be going bonkers with all these poop posts. But for people like me who deal with IA in our everyday lives, a day of calm intestines and stomach is a call for celebration.
But how we are doing it is a cause for concern.
You must be thinking, 'What the hell is she talking about? She has her own throne in her home!!!! Ridiculous!'
That's where you are wrong.
The throne IS the problem.
Pooping on a throne (or commonly known as a sitting toilet) is a main cause for hemorrhoids. And this can lead to diverticular disease, which is an age-related condition that pretty much only occurs in parts of the world where sitting toilets are used and which can lead to colonic obstruction. Imagine wanting to pass motion but being unable to and instead end up on the floor writhing in pain and passing out from it and waking up six-feet-under.
No wonder the human kind is getting more and more constipated.
A study which was done in 2003 found that 28 people who pooped in three positions did it best when they were SQUATTING! The ones who pooped while sitting on a high toilet and on a lower ones pooped much slower.
According to proctologists, 'We're not meant to sit on toilets, we were meant to squat in the field.' When we are in a sitting or standing position, we're forming an angle between where the poop is and where the poop comes out. There is even a muscle whose purpose is to tighten things up when we're sitting or standing to prevent accidents. Squatting straightens out this angle and removes the chokehold.
Damn! Another screw up!
I grew up pooping in a squatting position. Unfortunately, I have been promoted to the throne. Most of the new houses don't build squatting toilets anymore. I guess we'll be seeing more and more constipated people with twisted intestines.
Read the SQUATTY POTTY and the SQUATPOOP to understand more.
But how we are doing it is a cause for concern.
You must be thinking, 'What the hell is she talking about? She has her own throne in her home!!!! Ridiculous!'
That's where you are wrong.
The throne IS the problem.
Pooping on a throne (or commonly known as a sitting toilet) is a main cause for hemorrhoids. And this can lead to diverticular disease, which is an age-related condition that pretty much only occurs in parts of the world where sitting toilets are used and which can lead to colonic obstruction. Imagine wanting to pass motion but being unable to and instead end up on the floor writhing in pain and passing out from it and waking up six-feet-under.
No wonder the human kind is getting more and more constipated.
A study which was done in 2003 found that 28 people who pooped in three positions did it best when they were SQUATTING! The ones who pooped while sitting on a high toilet and on a lower ones pooped much slower.
According to proctologists, 'We're not meant to sit on toilets, we were meant to squat in the field.' When we are in a sitting or standing position, we're forming an angle between where the poop is and where the poop comes out. There is even a muscle whose purpose is to tighten things up when we're sitting or standing to prevent accidents. Squatting straightens out this angle and removes the chokehold.
Damn! Another screw up!
I grew up pooping in a squatting position. Unfortunately, I have been promoted to the throne. Most of the new houses don't build squatting toilets anymore. I guess we'll be seeing more and more constipated people with twisted intestines.
Read the SQUATTY POTTY and the SQUATPOOP to understand more.
 |
| Game of Thrones anyone?? Haha! |
Saturday, 8 December 2012
After The Storm
After the rain comes the sun.
Once the night is over, the day will come.
When the storm is over, out comes the rainbow.
In adversity, we find strength.
When the War is over, we plunder.
After Death is Life.
In Sickness we find Health.
After the storm...
Once the night is over, the day will come.
When the storm is over, out comes the rainbow.
In adversity, we find strength.
When the War is over, we plunder.
After Death is Life.
In Sickness we find Health.
After the storm...
Friday, 7 December 2012
Titanium
Titanium is a chemical element with the symbol Ti and the atomic number 22. Titanium has a low density and is a strong, lustrous, corrosion-resistant transition metal with a sliver colour.
Titanium has an exceptional resistance to a broad range of acids, alkalis, natural waters and industrial chemicals when compared to steel. Titanium is also able to withstand high heat without any reduction of weight. Steel can stand around 2,700F but titanium can stand 3,300F!
Another plus point for titanium is that it can be flexed or bowed repeatedly without breaking or rupturing. Titanium does not shatter in subzero weather. Because it is non-poisonous, plus it is biologically inert and light, titanium is used in surgical implants for the human body.
In short, titanium is strong.
Everyday we walk in a sea where there are plenty of corrosive words, attitudes and behaviours which are as poisonous as industrial chemicals. To withstand, we need to be resistant and be able to withstand without breaking down. We need to be strong.
We need to be able to withstand the fires of arsonists who would like to see us burn without ever fulfilling our dreams in Life. We must withstand the lava of destruction to our souls. We have to be able to not shatter in freezing temperatures of the Ice Queen's world that could freeze any love, joy, laughter and Life.
Our hearts must be biologically inert and not be filled with poison.
And when Life throws us a curveball, we bend it like Beckham repeatedly until it comes to a point that we do it without effort.
When we get shot we get up.
When we get shot we won't fall.
We do not shatter.
We do not corrode.
We are resistant.
We are strong.
We are Titanium.
Titanium has an exceptional resistance to a broad range of acids, alkalis, natural waters and industrial chemicals when compared to steel. Titanium is also able to withstand high heat without any reduction of weight. Steel can stand around 2,700F but titanium can stand 3,300F!
Another plus point for titanium is that it can be flexed or bowed repeatedly without breaking or rupturing. Titanium does not shatter in subzero weather. Because it is non-poisonous, plus it is biologically inert and light, titanium is used in surgical implants for the human body.
In short, titanium is strong.
Everyday we walk in a sea where there are plenty of corrosive words, attitudes and behaviours which are as poisonous as industrial chemicals. To withstand, we need to be resistant and be able to withstand without breaking down. We need to be strong.
We need to be able to withstand the fires of arsonists who would like to see us burn without ever fulfilling our dreams in Life. We must withstand the lava of destruction to our souls. We have to be able to not shatter in freezing temperatures of the Ice Queen's world that could freeze any love, joy, laughter and Life.
Our hearts must be biologically inert and not be filled with poison.
And when Life throws us a curveball, we bend it like Beckham repeatedly until it comes to a point that we do it without effort.
When we get shot we get up.
When we get shot we won't fall.
We do not shatter.
We do not corrode.
We are resistant.
We are strong.
We are Titanium.
The Poop Factor!
I used to wish that I could go back to work. I missed the working world. Today, I am extremely glad that I can stay within the confines of my home, stay safe in it and allow my body to slowly heal.
Having lived with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis for almost 4 years now, I can tell you that periods of hyperacidity in the stomach and episodes of diarrhoea can turn the staunchest-anti-worshipper-of-any-man-made-object into a throne worshipper. That is, if that throne is in the safe confines of your home.
That is, IF that throne belongs to you!
Imagine having to use one those yucky public toilets EVERYTIME you have one of those inconsistent, explosive diarrhoeas! YUCKS!!
Enjoy the following Poop@Work! When I read the following, I knew I had to share it. If you don't enjoy this, you definitely have TOO MUCH poop in you. Now go and get it out of your system!
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GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet.
CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSEY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN Poop:It smells so badly that your nose burns.
UPPER CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.
THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...a Poop!!!
THE DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
Having lived with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis for almost 4 years now, I can tell you that periods of hyperacidity in the stomach and episodes of diarrhoea can turn the staunchest-anti-worshipper-of-any-man-made-object into a throne worshipper. That is, if that throne is in the safe confines of your home.
That is, IF that throne belongs to you!
Imagine having to use one those yucky public toilets EVERYTIME you have one of those inconsistent, explosive diarrhoeas! YUCKS!!
Enjoy the following Poop@Work! When I read the following, I knew I had to share it. If you don't enjoy this, you definitely have TOO MUCH poop in you. Now go and get it out of your system!
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We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable.
For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you the.........
Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work.
Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE:
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee):
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the shitter. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN):
This is a group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVEN:
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR:
A pooper who does not realize that you're in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. TURD BURGLARS have been know to cause premature pinchage, which inevitably causes you to pinch one off in the middle.
CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE:
This is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert all potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON:
A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET:
A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
UNCLE TED:
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
DEFINITIONS OF Poop
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Nights of Insomnia
It has been almost 1 week of sleepless nights. It's either nights of being unable to fall asleep until 4 am or it's falling asleep immediately the moment I go to bed and waking up at 3.45am wide awake thinking it is 6 in the morning.
I am trying bloody hard to maintain the usual routine. It is hard but necessary for my survival once school reopens in January. The usual routine had been tossed out of the window a few times.
Joel has been amazing as usual. Very helpful though he has his difficult moments.
I hope this pre-menopause period will be over soon as the staining, sleepless nights, pain the breasts as though I got stabbed with a knife, loss of appetite, intense irritability and hormonal migraines is getting to me. At times I feel overwhelmed. But I move on. Even though it is at snail pace.
I am trying bloody hard to maintain the usual routine. It is hard but necessary for my survival once school reopens in January. The usual routine had been tossed out of the window a few times.
Joel has been amazing as usual. Very helpful though he has his difficult moments.
I hope this pre-menopause period will be over soon as the staining, sleepless nights, pain the breasts as though I got stabbed with a knife, loss of appetite, intense irritability and hormonal migraines is getting to me. At times I feel overwhelmed. But I move on. Even though it is at snail pace.
Monday, 3 December 2012
Shit Happens!
On some days, you can be walking on the sidewalk and WHAM! You've stepped onto some pile of dog shit.
Or the bonus or reward that you so deserve, is taken away from right under your nose and given to someone else who did not even bother to lift his ass up from the chair.
Or calamity after calamity with no ending in sight.
Or that break from the battles of life which is so elusive.
SHIT HAPPENS.
And sometimes it seems to happen more to you than to others. But bear in mind that shit does happen to EVERYONE. Not just you.
Here are some very entertaining Ideology & Religion Shit List to lighten up your day:
- Taoism: Shit happens.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
- Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
- Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
- Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
- Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
- Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
- Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
- Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
- Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
- Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
- Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
- Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
- Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
- Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
- Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
- Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
- Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
- Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
- Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
- Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
- Creationism: God made all shit.
- Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
- Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
- Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
- Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
- Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
- Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
- Darwinism: This shit was once food.
- Capitalism: That's MY shit.
- Communism: It's everybody's shit.
- Feminism: Men are shit.
- Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
- Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
- Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
- Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
- Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
- Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
- Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
- Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
- Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
- Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
- Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
- Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
- Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
- Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
- Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
- Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
- Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
- Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
- Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
- Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
- Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
- Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
- Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
- Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
- Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
- Atheism: What shit?
- Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
- Nihilism: No shit.
- Narcisism: I am the shit!
- And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!
*taken from this link
And here's more shit happening to make you laugh...
SHIT HAPPENS in various professions
Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case...
Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.
Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.
Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.
Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.
Chemist: I hope this shit doesn't blow up.
Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!!
Damn this shit smells...
Biologist: Is this shit alive?
Botanist: What this daisy needs is some fresh shit.
Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand
this shit.
Beurocrat: I'm sorry, but we can't make this shit happen until you fill
out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our
Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form
ZN-271828...
CEO: (1980's) I've got all the shit I want.
(1990's) Oooh, SHIT!
Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.
Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.
Yes, it's definitely a case of shit happening. $90, please...
Acupuncturist: Hold still or it will hurt like shit.
Let all that shit go.
This will really get the energy shit moving.
Surgeon: Shit, where's this organ supposed to go?
Psychologist: Shit is in your mind.
Everything that happens is shit; some of it is
just repressing its subconscious shittiness.
Programmer: It's shit, but at least it compiles.
Social Scientist:Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...
Historian: The same shit happens again and again.
Politician: It's shit, but it'll get me elected.
If you elect me, shit will never again happen.
Shit happening is bad for the economy.
My Fellow Americans, All I stand for is shit.
Waitress: You want fries with that shit?
Teacher: Repeat after me: one shit + one shit =?
Dean: Let's see how much shit the faculty'll take.
Accountant: Why doesn't this shit add up?
Linguist: What I'm doing is a bunch of feces tauri.
(For non-Latin-speakers: feces tauri=the excrement of a bull)
Quality Control Inspector: This shit ain't good enough.
IRS Auditor: I'll make 'em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms.
Farmer: I get subsidies for my shit.
Union leader: Give us more shit or we'll strike.
Mafia boss: Rub the little shits out.
NYC Cab Driver: Damn, looks like I hit that shit...
Mechanic: Shit...this will cost a lot, mister.
Chef: It needs some more of this green shit.
Musician: This shit is out of tune.
Artist: If Jesse Helms likes it, it is shit.
Shit, I wish I thought of that.
Anything you can buy for $2.99 isn't art, it's shit.
Poet: My childhood was shit, let me share.
Ode to a Grecian Shit.
My love is like a red, red shit.
... and miles to go before I shit, and miles to go before I
shit...
Developer: Shit happens on a daily basis, that's why we have maintainance
programmers.
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SHIT HAPPENS to your pets
Dog: All I do is eat, sleep and shit.
I did not chew the shit out of your bedroom slippers.
When I catch a car, it will shit!
Oh shit, I caught it!
Cat: Why do I have to shit in this smelly pan?
Let me sleep, you pathetic shit.
Dogs are shit.
I do not do unelegant things like shit, I excrete. And never in
the corner. It is the dog's.
Fish: All I do is eat, swim and shit.
Always the same dried shit for dinner?
Snake: If I got out of this cage, you'd shit.
Now did not all that shit just brighten up your day?
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