Sunday, 19 June 2016

ZAP! Instant Cremation & Stairway to Heaven (Part1)

The construction of Little Red's new little garage, which was named The Little Garage (TLG) was very near to being completed. Little Red couldn't wait for the Great Big Move.

And then one day, Little Red received some very bad news. There was a very huge problem at TLG. When Little Red arrived, it couldn't believe what it saw. Certain parts of the garage were blackened. Sparks were erupting here and there. And the worse part was the electricity wasn't flowing as it should. 

Little Red snapped and went ballistic. It called Lady Boss immediately and blared its horn continuously like a raging bull which had gone mad. This wasn't the first or second or even third time trouble had happened. This round's trouble was the worst of them all. Lady Boss' cars who caused this catastrophe scurried away. They couldn't solve the problem. They had no idea what to do.

Thus, Lady Boss brought an old friend of hers, a Mercedes Benz Ponton sedan. Apparently Mr. MB Ponton was a Professional and was one who knew how to solve problems

The moment Little Red saw Lady Boss, it almost lost it. Little Red was more than furious. The cars who caused the problems to TLG had made even more damage. They inflicted so much more damage to TLG when they tried to solve the problems with their non-existence knowledge of what they were doing. 

Little Red was on the verge of revving its engine beyond the redline point. It was boiling. Its engine was on the verge of exploding. Little Red then remembered what Junior Red said to it. Junior Red had told Little Red not to blow its engine and that it would be waiting for it to come home in one piece. Junior Red also told Little Red that it did not want to receive any phone call that Little Red had ended up in some workshop needing an overhaul or that its engine was beyond repair. Junior Red said that it loved Little Red very, very much. Little Red slowly released the accelerator and parked at neutral and remained calm (not for long though).

While Little Red was bombarding Mr. MB Ponton Professional, Lady Boss had slinked away unbeknownst. This made Little Red even more furious. A coward who couldn't face up to the music. 

Little Red then questioned Mr. Professional to how could it be given workers who had no idea to what they were doing?!? Mr. Professional replied with the stupidest statement ever. 

'I'll tell you why I can solve your problem and they can't. I am a Ponton and they, a Kancil. That's why I am a PROFESSIONAL.'

Little Red could only stare at him like he was some senile, demented junk. 

It then bombarded him again, 'How could Lady Boss give me Kancil to do a professional's job?!?? I didn't pay for such a crappy job! How would I know whether the gadgets and equipments in my garage will not short circuit? It could even kill my engine!'

'Don't worry! I will check the wiring. But I can tell you, your house wiring isn't in trouble just by looking at the DB box.' (This part will be continued in part 2 and 3.)

'Also, if the equipments which are outside your garage have a leakage of current, you need not worry,' continued Mr. Professional. 'The Kancils who will come to check it will be jolted, not you! But the equipment which are on the inside of your garage, I will make sure no voltage will leak as YOU will be the one who will be jolted by the leakage!' Little Red then replied sarcastically that its garage would be a mortuary-junk-yard with all the Kancils that would be jolted by the exterior equipments. Mr. Professional ignored that remark and continued to insist that the problem was an-extremely-minor-problem. 

(Mr. Professional had a potty mouth which was the size of a city's sewer. All it  could do was to only spew out shit continuously.)

Mr. Professional went on checking and concluded that only two wirings in the house that needed changing. 

Little Red said adamantly that it cannot accept such shoddy work. It did not pay for wirings to be cut and joined. It insisted that the whole garage be rewired. Mr. Professional insisted that it was unnecessary and that Little Red was being 'overly dramatic'.

Little Red started boiling again. The after-work-bell-timer saved it. Mr. Professional and Kancil left and Little Red felt despair, anger, rage and exhaustion.

( be continued)

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