Everybody Knows

Once upon a time, there was a little village called Veggie Land. Everything was perfect and all the vegetables thrived wonderfully in their little own vegetable world. Or so they thought.

A group of crows invaded Veggie Land and started to feast upon the vegetables. But the tomatoes sacrificed themselves. They catapulted themselves and exploded on the crows. The crows were wounded. They gave up and left. The whole of Veggie Land looked like a blood bath. Everyone then took the splattered tomato seeds and planted them. But no one noticed the big pile of crow dung under the huge bonsai tree.

One year had passed and Veggie Land had bloomed again. The tomatoes grew like weeds and had produced much bigger tomatoes. In fact, everything was growing bigger and better than ever. The vegetables felt that it was the sacrifice of the tomatoes which had paid off. 

And then it happened. A noxious smell started to permeate the air every evening. Hardly any bees came by anymore. In fact, there weren’t any insects hanging around anymore. The pests that once plagued them too had disappeared. Something wasn’t right but nobody could figure out what it was.

The vegetables sent some scouts out to investigate the source of the smell. And they came back with a few sacks full of cabbages!

“We found these growing under the huge bonsai tree,” said the four-angled beans scouts.

Brussel Sprout immediately spoke up and condemned the cabbages for causing distress to the inhabitants of Veggie Land. 

“Aren’t you both from the same family?” asked the okras.

“Who is my brother and who is my mother?” retorted Brussel Sprout . “I have been here forever. Have I caused any problems all this while? Everybody knows me."

Everyone kept quiet. 

“What shall we do with them?” asked the tomatoes. 

Suddenly the air reeked once again with the pungent smell.

“Does that not prove that we are not the cause of the problem?” asked the cabbages. 

“We will decide tomorrow,” said the sage.

That night the intensity of the smell became worse and a few of the vegetables shrivelled up and died. The whole of Veggie Land was in chaos as every vegetable panicked. 

Brussel Sprout declared that he will lead the veggies of Veggie Land to a safer place. 

“But where?” the sweet peas asked. 

“Anywhere but here,” said the corns hastily. 

As they were about to leave, an unexpected thunderstorm lashed upon Veggie Land. The rain caused a delay to their move. Brussel Sprout was upset but he had no choice. 

That night, as Cabbage tried to sleep, he was disturbed by a tiny sound. As he peeked from his cabbage leaves, he saw Brussel Sprout sneaking away in the dark. He decided to follow. But before he left, he whispered something to his fellow cabbages. 

He saw that Brussel Sprout stopped at the top of the hill. He saw another figure come out from behind the trees. Cabbage quickly hid behind a huge rock and listened. 

“Why are you still in Veggie Land?!” the figure asked.

“I’m sorry Boss. The thunderstorm caused some problems. We will move tomorrow,” Brussel Sprout replied.

“I do not want any more hiccups. This has dragged on for far too long. I want this settled by tomorrow!” the figure said harshly. “Shall I take away what I’ve been giving you and the rest?” the figure continued.

“NO! It won’t happen again,” Brussel Sprout replied.

As Cabbage moved backwards to slowly retreat back to Veggie Land, he stepped on a twig and it snapped.

The Boss disappeared into the trees. Brussel Sprout jumped and ran towards where Cabbage was and caught him. 

“Let me go!” Cabbage cried as he struggled. “I’ll tell them all what you’ve done!” 

Brussel Sprout dragged Cabbage all the way back to Veggie Land. When they arrived, he threw Cabbage on the ground with such force that it awoken many of the veggies. 

“Look who I found sneaking around! I’m sure he’s up to no good,” Brussel Sprout told the veggies in a loud voice. The rest of the veggies woke up because of the commotion and gathered around to see what was happening.

Cabbage stood up and said, “He was with someone whom he called Boss. And the Boss wants all of you to move. That’s why Brussel Sprout has been pushing all of you to move! The Boss has been giving him something in return for following him."

Brussel Sprout retorted, “And they would believe you, a stranger, over me?”

“Cabbage! Look what we found!” said the cabbages as they emerged from behind the crowd.

They threw huge bottles of herbicides, pesticides, insecticides and fertilisers in front of the crowd. Cabbage took the opportunity to attack Brussel Sprout even more.

“Look at what he’s been taking! That’s why he’s so huge. Have you ever seen a brusell sprout the size of a melon?! And that was what killed those veggies," said Cabbage while pointing to the bottles of fertiliser and herbicides. 

Everyone was silent.

Brussel Sprout snickered, "Everybody knows! Everybody knows that it's now or never. You're either an idiot or a naive little cabbage."

"Have you not seen the skies? Oh yeah, I forgot. You were hiding under the bonsai tree, being shaded from everything that's been happening. Let me fill you in. There's a fire raging on the west of Veggie Land. On the east there's this dark big cloud. Everybody knows that the Plague is coming. And everybody knows it's fast moving. So what do you propose?"

Cabbage was dumbfounded for a second. When he found his voice, it quivered. "Who is the Boss? And where is he taking everyone to? What does he want to do with all the fellow veggies? And what about all these?" asked Cabbage pointing to the bottles.

"All right. That's enough!" Turning to his fellow brussel sprouts, Brussel Sprout barked, "Round 'em up! Round Up! ROUND UP!!"

Cabbage and his fellow cabbages struggled as Brussel Sprout's fellow brussel sprouts captured them. 

"Wait!" said Junior Okra. "I would like to know where we are going." 

"Everybody knows the boat is leaking," said Brussel Sprout. "Are you gonna be the one who wants to drown? It doesn't matter where we are going. We are leaving and that is final!"

Soon there was grumblings among the vegetables. Some decided there and then that the move was uncertain and vague. 

"ROUND THEM ALL UP! ROUND UP!!!" shouted Brussel Sprout as his patience wore thin.

The veggies who opposed to the move were tied up and thrown onto a cart. Everyone took whatever they could and started the exodus. Cabbage struggled against the ropes that bound him. And then he saw the land and the skies clearly for once. The fire that was raging covered the whole west side of the forest. It went on and on and on. There was no ending to it. And on the east was the fast moving Plague, which made the skies so dark that black was an understatement. 

As they arrived at the river dock, the figure that Cabbage saw with Brussel Sprout emerged from the darkness. It was a figure in a robe and it was carrying a scythe.

"Boss, I have done what you had asked me to do. Will you keep your promise in continuing to give us what we need?" asked Brussel Sprout referring to the bottles that the cabbages had found. 

In one swift movement, the scythe sliced Brussel Sprout into half.

Cabbage closed his eyes in defeat. He heard the corns sing as the Boss went on to slice one veggie after another, "Everybody knows the deal is rotten. Everybody knows that the fight was fixed. Everybody knows the good guys lost.. That's how it goes. Everybody knows."

Then there was silence.

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Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long-stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows