The Crippling Pain Again!

Sometime after the 19th of September, the crippling pain came back. It didn't just come back, it came back with vengeance. It was as though the talons from hell were strangling my bowels, bladder and womb.

I thought that it could be my voiding dysfunction had returned or I simply had caught a bad urine infection. Or something was wrong with my womb.

It was so bad that I went to the ER to find out what the cause of the pain was.

The doctor was worried about kidney stones. (Why do doctors keep on concluding that I have stones in my kidneys??? Are kidney stones really so rampant?)

And then she wanted to IV painkillers into me! NO WAY!

She insisted on giving me an IV for fluids.

They then did all the usual tests; blood, urine and ultrasound.

Everything came back normal but there were some cysts that were in my ovaries and cervix (which I had already known from the MRI two months ago). And they are harmless.

So the ER doctor called one of their gynecologists. She wanted to put me on a ten-days antibiotics course to cover base (just in case I had some pelvic inflammatory disease or STD)!

WHATEVER FOR??!!!!!!

She did not even see me. My results were perfect. And she wanted to give me antibiotics. No wonder the bacteria are mutants!

And I was supposed to see her on Friday (the next day, Thursday was a public holiday). I had to sign a consent form stating I rejected all medications.

Friday came and I made an appointment to see ANOTHER gynae.

Everything was fine. Cervix, ovaries, uterus. All were fine.

This gynae too was perplexed about the pain. He sent me for some blood tests to test my hormone levels. (I got the results yesterday and they are all fine too.)

I went to see another gynae the following week as the pain became worse. He was a very nice doctor but was as perplexed like the rest. He concluded that my pain could be psychosomatic and that I could be lacking of attention (hubby was there and said he overdoses me with attention! HAHA!). He also said that all the tests do not lie (MRI, blood tests, scope, ultrasounds). He suggested that I was so highly strung that all this stress caused this phantom pain to come about. He then suggested I seek help from psychiatrists with hypnotherapy expertise.

I did not know whether to laugh or to cry.

I haven't been highly strung ever since Joel moved to the new school. I no longer need to rush like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I would have agreed with the gynae on his stress-theory if we were still at the old school. But my stress level has dropped so much that even my reflux and esophagitis are healed!

I know that I am not imagining this pain. Why anyone would imagine to be sick perplexes me. I have been fighting for six-an-a-half-years to be healthy. To be healthy and wanting to be so desperately sick is something I am not. I am the other way around.

He then suggested that I might consider returning to work part-time seeing Joel is such a big boy now. Maybe at the back of my mind, I am resentful at not being able to work......

He also said that if the pain was so crippling and debilitating, I would not have been able to go painkiller-free. (He definitely does not know what iron will I have. If you were me (being allergic to painkillers/NSAIDs), would you take the risk in ingesting something you're allergic to? And if an anaphylactic attack were to happen................

So the session ended with him not wanting to give my pain new names or be a groundbreaking doctor to discover an-undistinguishable-new-disease. He also told me to go to gym since the haze is so bad that I can't have my usual walks. Also told me to go for yoga!

But he was really sincere in his belief. He wasn't sarcastic or awful like the other doctors who belittle their patients. He spoke from his heart. He did not belittle me. He took my allergies and sensitivities seriously. A very meticulous doctor. He just couldn't give me an answer to the pain that I have.

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Thursday was my appointment with my urologist whom I've not seen in 1 1/2 years.

Since it wasn't urine infection, kidney stones, STDs, prolapsed womb, twisted ovaries, IBS (colon spasms), there was only one answer.

The voiding dysfunction was back and it was back with vengeance.

So Mr. Urologist saw me and sent me for the uroflow test.

My flow was so very bad. In fact I had no flow.

He wanted to do a scope. And he wanted to do a surgery for my sphincter which has actually tightened. (This condition was actually triggered by giving birth to Joel.) Thus, the pain and the god-awful spasms. The sphincter and the bladder muscles have not being in sync with each other. But I would need to go under GA (general anesthetic) for this surgery. He would 'manually dilate' my sphincter.

(Fear actually shot up my spine when he said that!) At that point, I was really STRESSED! I had cold sweat.

I told Mr. Urologist that I wanted to back on Xatral (the prostate medication which he gave me the last time). He too said he wasn't keen on operating on me and agreed with me on this course of action.

So I am to be on Xatral for six weeks. It's not a nice medication to be on as it causes dizziness and postural hypotension. Mr. Urologist warned me that I can blackout if I get up too fast from a sitting or lying down position. I have taken this before. It will take me a week or so to adjust to the medication. Then I'll be fine.

The scary thing is that I'm his only female patient on prostate medication. And I'm also his youngest patient. Hmmmm.... Maybe the nice gynecologist was right in some of his deductions? Maybe I do NEED yoda yoga.


P.S: I'll be writing on my improvements where the salicylate/chemical sensitivity and food adventures in another post soon! Stay tuned.