41 Months

Time sure flies. It has been 41 months since the day I met Death. As I am writing this, reminiscing all that has happened, all that I have gone through, the places in Life that I have gone through during these 41 months, I feel satiated and a sense of accomplishment.

WHAT?!
You exclaim.

Am I healed?
No.

Have I overcome the biggest obstacle of my life: to live in perfect health?
No.

Can I smell, eat and use anything that I fancy?
No.

Can I drop everything and go anywhere in a heartbeat?
No.

Can I live life as 'normal' people do?
No.

So how can I feel satiated and have a sense of accomplishment?

I can feel satiated because I fought the fight with all of me. I did not go into battle with a half-hearted, half-prepared Evelyn. I did not give up, although I fell down many times. I did not mop in self-pity. I made sure I got up after every fall. I climbed back up the mountain of Salicylates-and-Chemicals after sliding down a millionth time. I got up again and again and again and again AND again. And the 'again and again' is never ending.

And I have started to see a glimmer of hope.

My body started healing in different ways.

My eyesight has improved.

I have been able to take two different types of biscuits and a type of organic flakes. And they are not made by ME!!!! I bought them of the shelves of supermarkets!

I have traveled for the first time on a plane in a very, very long time to another country.

I have pushed myself beyond the boundaries of the life of a salicylate-chemical-sensitive person.

I drive a minimum of 180km every week.

I am able to eat food with salicylates in small amounts.

And that, is a great accomplishment for this warrior!

Just as our national badminton shuttler did not win the gold medal in last night's Olympic 2012 badminton competition, he is a winner indeed even with the silver medal. A champion. A glorified fighter. Because he fought all the way to the end without giving up. He gave his very best. He gave his all. And that makes him a winner!

My battle is far from over. My struggles are far from being over. But at where I am now, I can say that I have fought with all of my heart, with all of my might, with all of me. And that makes me a winner. And thus, I can feel satiated and say that I have accomplished much.


'I shall not die of a cold.  I shall die of having lived.' - Willa Cather