Girl Alive

Once upon a time, there was a girl who went by the name Girl Alive. Why she chose that name for herself perplexed many. To many, she wasn't alive. Neither was she dead. She was sick. And full of shit according to many who saw her as a person who refused to believe that God could heal her if only she followed the rituals and religious methodologies.

Now she went through a lot of valleys where the shadows of Death loomed. And occasionally, Death itself showed up. Many times, she felt like giving up. Many times she was so frustrated and exhausted that the fight to stay alive for her child seemed to be worthless.  Many times she felt that she was a bull in the ring, going in circles never knowing where and when the matador would stab her and cause her to bleed and to die on the fighting grounds. And the cycle would repeat themselves all over again the next day.

So I saw the signs of her reaching another breaking point. And I waited.

True enough, one day she barged into my office and screamed like a mad woman and banged her fists on my table and cried like a maniac. I was used to it. It happens everytime her fighting spirit maxed out.  Out of her mouth came profanities that would make a sailor blush. She wailed, she bawled, she screamed till she was hoarse. She turned my table upside down. She stomped on the broken glass shattering them further into a million pieces, cutting the soles of her shoes and piercing her feet. But she did not stop. The pain in the soles of her feet could not match the pain that was in her heart.  Finally, she was spent. And she collapsed on my couch with blood dripping onto my carpet.

After a lengthy period of silence, I asked her this question. 'Why are you alive?'

'Because I'm not dead!' she replied.

'And why is that?'

'How would I know?!'

'I am going to ask you again. Why are you alive?'

'BECAUSE I am not DEAD, you dimwit!'

'And why is that?'

'I don't know damn it! Why don't YOU freaking tell me?!'

'Why are you alive?'

'Because I am not dead!!!!!!!!!!'

'And why is that?'

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door so hard that my paintings fell of their hooks. I smiled to myself. She will be back.

Two weeks later, she barged into my room and had a face off with me and said, 'I am alive because I AM alive!'

'I am alive because I can smile, I can cry, I can laugh, I can love, I can be pissed.'

'I am alive because I can breathe till the air reaches the bowels of my stomach.'

'I am alive because I can taste the food that I eat though the taste of my food is only limited to sweet and salty.'

'I am alive because I can enjoy the wondrous facets of the firmaments.'

'I am alive because I can sleep, I can shit, I can pee, and I can scream and swear.'

'I am alive because I have two eyes that see, two ears that hear, a mouth that speaks what I think, a heart that beats life, hands that produces life, and legs that bring me to my destinations.'

'I am alive because I choose to be alive. I choose to thrive. I choose to fight. I choose to conquer. I choose to win this fight. I choose to die as Girl Alive.'

'I choose to be A.L.I.V.E. Abundantly Living In Volatile Environment! I choose to BE alive!'

'And by making that choice to be alive, my son too, can be alive.'

With that she sat down on the chair and stared deeply into my eyes. And I saw her soul. I saw the essence of her person. I saw the core of her being. She WAS alive. Because she chose to be. And with that I was satisfied.

And when she left my office that day, I knew that I would not see her again for a long period of time. Though she will go through many more valleys, many more storms, climb many more mountains, fall down over and over again, I know she will walk into my office again, some day. And I know she will, because she is Girl Alive.

How would I know, you asked?

Because I am the Man who bent down and wrote in the sand.



'... everyone dies. But not everyone lives.' - A. Sachs