Thursday, 14 February 2013

Fair & Lovely, White & Pure (Part1)

I was enjoying my nightly affair with the idiot box when suddenly, I was beyond dumbfounded when this came upon the screen.

'I care to look my best!'

'But friction from tight clothes can darken my intimate area.'

'Now, I wash that problem away naturally with the new Lactacyd White Intimate.'

'Cares better than ever!'

'The first feminine wash with marine, plant and milk extracts to safely lighten in FOUR weeks!'

'My natural way to intimate fairness confidence. My best EVER!'

'Lactacyd, what's best for us!'


That certainly knocked me out of my stupor for sure.

So our vagina is too big, too hairy and now it's not 'white' enough?!

Seriously, who the hell cares what colour are our vaginas?! It could be green, purple, orange or blue for all humanity cares. Or how dark or light it looks. Unfortunately, the walking-dead-blood-sucking-vampires of the money-making-industry has decided to cast dubious thoughts about every single female's self-worth! If your vagina ain't white, then you ain't got anything. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! You just HAVE to look whitewashed down there. 'Cos if you ain't white down there, when you walk into a restaurant filled with guys, no one, I mean, NOT ONE guy is gonna give you a second look.


Because all men have super-sonic eyes (just like Superman) which can zoom into your intimate area and check out whether you're worth the chase.

They have this mantra in their head all the time:

'If you're white,
You're worth the fight!
But if you're less than white down there,
Sorry chick, but that's just a nightmare!'

So if you've been detected to have a perfectly-coloured-vagina, they'll howl like wolves and give you the chase of your life.

First it was the face whitening products. Then it progressed to the armpits. And now they have moved on to the intimate areas. And not forgetting the anal bleach too.

Don't believe me? Check out the following videos.
The person who did the ad below totally has no-brains. The wife in the ad should have just fed the husband-bum-worthless-moron to the dogs. Such a worthless bum who only wants his wife when her vagina is 'enlightened'!

I like the comment at the bottom of this video. The man feels sorry for women who have to do this because of their low-self esteem. So do I.

God help us all....


  1. OMG! I have never seen those commercials! The acting is really BAD, too.

    Men don't care what vaginas look like as long as they are in front of them and readily available. :) In fact, how often do they even look at them? hahaha

  2. Gaaaah! She blinded me with her preternaturally brightened coochie!

    -a comment from Huffington Post article on this product (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...)