Saturday 11 February 2012

Thrive

I was going through a host of websites looking for useful information pertaining to my condition when I stumbled upon a woman's website. She is a survivor of sexual child abuse. She and her twin sister were raped, sodomised and forced to perform oral sex by their father almost nightly for eight years. And many times they were subjected to sadistic torture. She started her blog to reach out to survivors like herself and to obtain healing by speaking out. The thing that really caught my attention was what she wrote. She asked whether, '... is it enough to merely want to survive? Or would you rather live your life by being a survivor who wants to thrive?'

A thriver. That made me think really long and hard. I then asked myself, 'Am I not surviving well?' I did not go through sexual abuse as a child. But I did go through a very, very tough period in my life which required me to fight daily in order to survive. I am still fighting daily for my life. And I am surviving. So that makes me a survivor. And I can proudly pat myself on my back that I survived and made it out alive. So what am I lacking then? I fought. I survived. I am alive. But am I thriving?

The word 'thrive' is a verb. Which means it is an action. It is something which you have to do.  The definition of 'thrive' is to prosper, to do well, to flourish, to grow, to develope, to advance, to succeed, to boom, to bloom, to grow rich, to grow strong and healthy. Which brings me to my point: are we people with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis thriving in our lives? Are we prospering where our souls are concerned? Are we doing well mentally? Are we flourishing in our attitudes toward life? Are we growing stronger in our attitude to fight? Are we advancing in this battle with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis? If you are not thriving, then you are merely surviving.

The thing with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis is that we never know when an attack will occur or how bad an attack can get. And in the midst of trying to find our footing in life all over again, we need to move forward and live a life which is full of LIFE! What is wrong with merely surviving? That would mean you are undermining your life from growing in leaps and bounds. By being a thriver, your soul would heal and be strengthened and that could attribute to your healing physically. Yes, we might not be able to travel anywhere to our whims and fancy (or even at all), we might not be able to eat whatever we want, we might not be able to spray ourselves with Elizabeth Arden or Christian Dior's Poison or even walk down the detergent aisle without holding our breath but to run past as quickly as possible with two fingers stuck into our nostrils. But by thriving, we will have the quality of life which all mankind so desperately need. And that is to live our lives even with our setbacks with a happy, contented and peaceful heart. So my million dollar question to you would be this: Are you a survivor or a thriver?




35 months ago was theday I met Death.



6 comments:

  1. hey there girl!

    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it
    for me."
    -- Carol Burnett

    "It's not that some people have willpower
    and some don't. It's that some people are
    ready to change and others are not."
    -- James Gordon, M.D.

    "We all have big changes in our lives that
    are more or less a second chance."
    -- Harrison Ford

    yes, don't just live, THRIVE! as the above quotes say, it takes something BIG to happen before we're willing to change. sometimes, like in your case, we're not given a choice -- no chance to say yes or no or even maybe -- but to change. you have not only changed, not only because you have to in order to survive, but in the process you have THRIVED! and that's transformation! (NOT that kind of transformation some people call ETP that they have been throwing around to impress the voters!!)

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  2. I am a survivor and a thriver...I have survived abuse as well...and a lot of other things. I am still here to live and learn and Love as best I can. I have learned a lot the past few years...Since May 1, 2009 when I suffered an anaphylactic reaction to pennicillin. I have learned a whole new way to live and to be and appreciate life. In that respect, it was a GIFT to me.

    PS: I am lost when it comes to breakfast. What do you eat? I need help with this. I have serious yeast sensitivity, so only flat bread is good and low carbs. It's really difficult to figure it out. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Love to you!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Cyndy! You go girl!!!! Miss Thriver and Survivor!

      Here are some food which are without yeast:
      1. Scones
      2. Oatcakes
      3. Cupcakes
      4. Pancakes
      5. Muffins
      6. Butter/Chocolate cakes

      All the best! Much love to you and your daughter too. :)

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  3. Hmmmm...ponder, ponder, ponder. Your question makes me think yet poses a dilemma - do I maintain my positive attitude when attitude is everything, or should I be honest and risk negativity? It's takes a lot of work every moment of the day to stay positive!

    I survive and force myself to think positively using relationship comparisons to convince myself everything is great. For instance, I am grateful I feel safe. This gratitude makes me feel like I should be thriving and makes me feel guilty if I say I'm not.

    But without such a comparison, honestly, I am just content and happy-ish most of the time as long as I don't think of the life I was forced to give up, the dreams I had, and how crappy I sometimes feel. Content and happy-ish is a huge improvement over angry, cynical and negative.

    But am I peaceful and thriving? Nope, even though I have more reason to be than those who have been sexually abused and tortured. I'm surviving and existing contently, learning to live with my limitations and accepting life as it is. But underneath there is a slow simmer of resentment that I beat down everyday with a strong positive attitude....

    ...besides if I were a thriver I'd have to rename myself the Multiple Chemical Thriver and that doesn't correspond to the initials MCS! HAHAHAHA

    I reserve the right to change my opinion as I continue to ponder...good question!

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    Replies
    1. There will definitely be periods of anger, resentment, frustrations and rage. But calm seas usually follow after periods of rough seas. But for some survivors, calm seas never happen. It is always rough. So yes, sometimes honesty is therapeutic. Ranting and venting out is good. But once everything is out, move on. And that is part of thriving, moving on well and strong! :)

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