ZAP! Instant Cremation & Stairway to Heaven (Part1)

The construction of Little Red's new little garage, which was named The Little Garage (TLG) was very near to being completed. Little Red couldn't wait for the Great Big Move.

And then one day, Little Red received some very bad news. There was a very huge problem at TLG. When Little Red arrived, it couldn't believe what it saw. Certain parts of the garage were blackened. Sparks were erupting here and there. And the worse part was the electricity wasn't flowing as it should. 

Little Red snapped and went ballistic. It called Lady Boss immediately and blared its horn continuously like a raging bull which had gone mad. This wasn't the first or second or even third time trouble had happened. This round's trouble was the worst of them all. Lady Boss' cars who caused this catastrophe scurried away. They couldn't solve the problem. They had no idea what to do.

Thus, Lady Boss brought an old friend of hers, a Mercedes Benz Ponton sedan. Apparently Mr. MB Ponton was a Professional and was one who knew how to solve problems. 

The moment Little Red saw Lady Boss, it almost lost it. Little Red was more than furious. The cars who caused the problems to TLG had made even more damage. They inflicted so much more damage to TLG when they tried to solve the problems with their non-existence knowledge of what they were doing. 

Little Red was on the verge of revving its engine beyond the redline point. It was boiling. Its engine was on the verge of exploding. Little Red then remembered what Junior Red said to it. Junior Red had told Little Red not to blow its engine and that it would be waiting for it to come home in one piece. Junior Red also told Little Red that it did not want to receive any phone call that Little Red had ended up in some workshop needing an overhaul or that its engine was beyond repair. Junior Red said that it loved Little Red very, very much. Little Red slowly released the accelerator and parked at neutral and remained calm (not for long though).

While Little Red was bombarding Mr. MB Ponton Professional, Lady Boss had slinked away unbeknownst. This made Little Red even more furious. A coward who couldn't face up to the music. 

Little Red then questioned Mr. Professional to how could it be given workers who had no idea to what they were doing?!? Mr. Professional replied with the stupidest statement ever. 

'I'll tell you why I can solve your problem and they can't. I am a Ponton and they, a Kancil. That's why I am a PROFESSIONAL.'

Little Red could only stare at him like he was some senile, demented junk. 

It then bombarded him again, 'How could Lady Boss give me Kancil to do a professional's job?!?? I didn't pay for such a crappy job! How would I know whether the gadgets and equipments in my garage will not short circuit? It could even kill my engine!'

'Don't worry! I will check the wiring. But I can tell you, your house wiring isn't in trouble just by looking at the DB box.' (This part will be continued in part 2 and 3.)

'Also, if the equipments which are outside your garage have a leakage of current, you need not worry,' continued Mr. Professional. 'The Kancils who will come to check it will be jolted, not you! But the equipment which are on the inside of your garage, I will make sure no voltage will leak as YOU will be the one who will be jolted by the leakage!' Little Red then replied sarcastically that its garage would be a mortuary-junk-yard with all the Kancils that would be jolted by the exterior equipments. Mr. Professional ignored that remark and continued to insist that the problem was an-extremely-minor-problem. 

(Mr. Professional had a potty mouth which was the size of a city's sewer. All it  could do was to only spew out shit continuously.)

Mr. Professional went on checking and concluded that only two wirings in the house that needed changing. 

Little Red said adamantly that it cannot accept such shoddy work. It did not pay for wirings to be cut and joined. It insisted that the whole garage be rewired. Mr. Professional insisted that it was unnecessary and that Little Red was being 'overly dramatic'.

Little Red started boiling again. The after-work-bell-timer saved it. Mr. Professional and Kancil left and Little Red felt despair, anger, rage and exhaustion.

(...to be continued)

Little Red's Misadventure

Even though Little Red had prepared itself for the next phase in its life, it didn't expect such a rugged terrain. It was indeed a very rough journey.

It encountered tons of potholes and sinkholes.

It encountered lots of road bullies.

It had to navigate through valleys that looked like the valley of the shadow of death.

Little Red was fed-up and drained. It was dead-tired and weary. Thoroughly spent.

The journey is far from over. Little Red must find whatever reserve battery and oil that it has and trudge on.

For the Promise Land is within sight.

The Great Big Move

Little Red finally found a cosy, little garage which it could call home. It's not that Little Red did not have a home. But Little Red's current garage had gotten far too big for it. With never ending chores and maintenance, Little Red was exhausted most of the time.

A typical day goes like this:

Little Red wakes up.
Goes about preparing its special oil that it drinks. (That alone takes up a lot of time!)
Tidies up the garage, washes it, tidies it again.
Goes for a short spin in order to keep its engine up and running.
Comes home and discovers that the place that it tidied up was now somehow not so tidy. Didn't it just tidy up the place awhile ago? Or was Little Red losing its mind?!
Never mind, Little Red tidies it again and goes on in preparing another round of that special oil drink.
Little Red then realises that it had forgotten to finish up some job that was required of it.
It also realised that it had forgotten 101 other things!
Tries to hurry to finish a quarter of the 101 things that it had forgotten.
By then it's night time and time for rest.
'Tomorrow!' Little Red tells itself.

And so the cycle begins again tomorrow.

It has been a Ferris Wheel day in and day out. Round and round. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush.

There were so many more things that Little Red wanted to do. So many things that Little Red had lost over the period of seven years. Times where it had spent in the garage trying to repair its leak over and over and over again. Trying to be well enough to even go for a very short spin.

Little Red saw that others were expanding their garages. The Lamborghini. The Ferrari, the Porsche, the Audi, the Mercedes and even the Kancil. The wheels inside Little Red's head had been turning for awhile now. What is the meaning of Life to these people? A bigger garage? A bigger engine? Two exhaust pipes? To what point? To the point of exhaustion? Then what would Life be?

Little Red had decided that it must downsize. A smaller place would mean less things to clean and maintain. Less expenditure. Less clutter. Less work. More Life.

Little Red could not wait for the Great Big Move.

The Little Red (That Thought It Could)

For these past few months, Little Red's engine has either been chugging out black smoke or leaking out engine oil. Something was wrong somewhere but WHERE? It was already on a very clean, strict and regimented diet.

The mechanics told Little Red to change her lifestyle.

Lifestyle????

She had no life what more style?

Maybe she should change her rims to some F1 sports rims?

Or change her engine's horse power to maybe a 4.0?

Or maybe, just guzzle herself to death on diesel.

Little Red thinks the mechanics should just give her an engine overhaul.

Then, maybe, just maybe, she would not keep on farting black oil from below. Or keep on emitting such black smoke almost every day. And that the engine would have some intermission from the constant sputtering.

What Little Red would do to have a normal and functioning engine.

There were days where Little Red would trudge up the little hill to look at lives of others that passed by. Some whizzed by. Some strolled by. But theirs were ongoing.

Little Red had really thought that it could.

Little Red Engine's Dilemma

Little Red Engine had been living in its tiny little bubble now for six years. The bubble was the only thing that kept it alive and well. Even after six years, it was extremely and exceedingly frustrated living in this bubble as it was isolated from all the 'normality' the life of an engine.

Believe me when it said it tried to live as 'normally' as it could. It tried attending F1 races but it kept sputtering out black smoke the moment it smelt the exhaust of the racer cars.

It tried going for a 'drink' from 'here' and 'there' like the OTHERS and its engine sputtered and died.

It even tried hitchhiking on different tow trucks for a free ride but ended up with a bad leak as their engine fumes were so pungent and smelly.

It did try to be 'normal'.

But sadly, other engines' normalcy wasn't Little Red's normalcy.

Little Red withdrew into its bubble again to stay safe and alive. But its bubble was never ever 100% safe.

Little Red did have support from other 'normal' engines. They would drop by for visits and stayed over to give Little Red some company. Little Red had Blue Engine around too for help.

The thing is, the fuel that they consumed was interfering with Little Red's system. It wasn't as if they deliberately brought in chemical fumes into Little Red's garage. It was the concoction of the fuel which they consumed which made Little Red ill. Sometimes it was the caffeinated fuel. Other times it was the nutty-fied fuel. Sometimes it was even the veggy-fied fuel. Those fuel weren't poisonous fuel but to Little Red, the engine fumes which were from these fuels made it sick.

Little Red did have talks with the other engines. Hell, it even banned them from using those fuels which made it sick. They did comply but it wasn't fair for them to be living in such restricted manner for such long periods of time. It certainly wasn't fair or healthy for Little Red either, as Little Red's garage was its safe haven.

So the visits grew shorter. And Little Red fled and hid whenever Blue Engine had to consume its caffeinated or certain type of veggy-fied fuel. Little Red then noticed that whenever its garage was totally free from all the radicals that made it ill, it felt stronger. It could be exposed to the F1 racers' exhaust for a little bit longer without feeling ill. It could indulge here and there in different types of fuel. It could go to other engine's garage and not sputter and die from their engine fumes.

Little Red was in a dilemma. It knew it had to make the garage totally radical-free. But how could it impose on others to live like it? And yet how could it live in a compromised manner?

Little Red knew that there was only one solution. It felt very burdened by the solution. There had to be a change...

(... to be continued)

'It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go one indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.' - C. S. Lewis

The Little Red Engine at Dead End's Pavement

Everywhere Little Red Engine went, it became agitated and extremely irritated. Other engines would be guzzling down petrol from various outlets. Some drank premium oil. Others drank very-ordinary-oil. While there were some who drank the middle-range oil. The thing is, everyone drank oil from wherever they were. But Little Red couldn't. It had to drink its very own 'home-made-premium-oil'! And that sucked. BIG TIME. Everywhere that Little Red went, it had to lug its huge jerry can. And I mean literally everywhere. It was becoming a huge burden and a-pain-in-the-ass.

There was once where it tried to drink a little of the 'not-home-made-oil' and Little Red felt ecstatic for the very first time in a very long time as its engine didn't sputter and die. And so it drank a little more and a little more AND a little more.

It started doing a jiggly jiggle but not before long, its engine started coughing, sputtered and died! It had to be resuscitated and it almost lost its engine.

'How could this have happened??!!!' screamed Little Red to the heavens. 'Five years and a half is just way too long!' it shook its bumper in disgust towards the skies.

It wasn't long after that Little Red started going downhill. It was always leaking its engine oil. No matter how many times it was sent to the workshop, no matter how long it stayed at the workshop, no matter what they did to plug the oil leak, it still leaked. At times it leaked at an alarming rate that Little Red was afraid that it would just die at the side of the busy highways and expressways. There were times that Little Red went into dizzy spells while trying to get home in one piece as it just suddenly started leaking for no apparent reason. There were times Little Red had to just stop at the emergency lanes to gather up its strength to continue its way home.

There were many times Little Red felt as though it was going to just veer into the Abyss of Insanity. The panic attacks were crippling. But Little Red trudged on.

And then it happened.

It had to be sent to the special workshop as the mechanics felt that it was flooring its accelerator too hard. Little Red had to 're-learn' how to drive.

WHAT???!!! Re-learn how to drive? It had been driving for almost 20 years now.

'How can this be?' Little Red shrieked incredulously. 'There must be some mistake!' it continued.

No was the answer. In order for Little Red to stop leaking once and for all, it had to relearn many things where driving was concerned. It was back to basics. Little Red had to take a hiatus from life and learn the basics all over again.

At first it was stubborn in accepting the fact that it was unable to drive in a proper manner. It felt victimized. It felt that it was on par with 'professional drivers'. Unfortunately it wasn't so.

The mechanics wanted to pop all sorts of pills into Little Red's engine. The green pill for this. A blue pill for that. A pink pill for everything else. There was no way Little Red was going to be drowned in a a sea of pills.

Thus Little Red snatched its engine back and marched into the Workshop of Life and Health where it will re-learn the basics of driving without gagging on the rainbow of pills.

So when Little Red was in the Workshop of Life and Health, it realised that it has been 'flooring the accelerator' one too many times. It was truly a blessing that a disaster did not happen all this while. It also knew that it had to change its perspective of things and how to take car(e) of itself in a wholesome way.

There were things Little Red could never change, burdens that it could not carry, perspectives where driving was concerned that needed to be set right.

Little Red knew it will be better than ever when it leaves the Workshop of Life and Health in due time (how long it will be there, no one knows as that will be up to the Master Mechanic).

Truly Little Red found a new beginning at Dead End's Pavement.

(At this moment, Little Red is envisioning drinking a huge jerry can of 'premium-grade' oil from a joint somewhere in the midst of a busy street!)

Sayonara 2012, Bonjour 2013

Little Red Engine felt relieved that 2012 was almost over with no major, fatal breakdown happening to its engine. It took a lot of sheer will to keep on chugging down the road of Life when at many points, it did not know where it was going. Not forgetting the periods of exhaustion. And the potholes.

Many times, Little Red drove through dense fogs where visibility was near zero. Even with its highlights switched on, it could not see beyond 150 metres. And THAT was scary. Little Red was afraid that it might smash into another vehicle or worse, plunge over a cliff and into a ravine!

Little Red also went through many unexpected flash floods. Going through the flood waters slow and steady kept it safe.

As Little Red drove on the road of Life, many other vehicles whizzed pass it.

It was envious of the Ferrari that was as fast as the speed of lightning. But when the flood waters came, Ferrari lightning was stuck and inched itself to higher grounds.

Then there was the Kancil who could squeeze itself into the tiniest of space when carparks were full. But it was light as a feather and when someone punched the bonnet, it would look as though a meteor had dropped on it.

Oh, and there was the glorious Volvo XC90! It was Little Red's dream car as it looked so regal and grand and sleek and EXPENSIVE! Expensive it was as it guzzled petrol like there was no tomorrow.

So many beautiful automobiles to salivate over. To drool over. To lust for. The Cayenne Porsche, the Audi Q7, the Volkswagen Touareg, the BMW X5. Little Red was so busy admiring and comparing others to itself that it did not realise that it was now stationary at the side of the road drooling over every other automobile instead of moving on.

When Little Red was finally jolted out of its wishful-thinking-dream-like-state, the snow came! But Little Red bravely went through the snow and came out alive, stronger AND wiser. 'No more drooling-at-roadsides,' it told itself.

And then, there was the time when Little Red had a breakdown. Little Red was glad that it had gotten out of the cracks of depression without any major damage to its system.

Then Little Red became lost, not knowing where to go. It was stumped for a very long time. It tried to think back to the times when it was lost and when it could not find the Compass of Life. It tried to duplicate its past actions when it was lost for directions.

2013 was on the horizon and Little Red was still clueless of where it should head to. It became agitated. It was irritated. And it was getting desperate. It started meditating on its bonnet. And then it spun around in circles. It tried EVERY trick which it did in the past. And yet, still no lightbulb. No booming voice from the heavens.

As Little Red sat dejected, an Antique car stopped beside it. Antique car looked very old, but yet wise. You can tell that it had seen a lot and been to a lot of places in Life. Antique car looked at Little Red and said, 'Things never happen the same way twice.' And with that Antique car moved on.

Little Red was awestruck! It suddenly realised that it was hanging on to the past. It was trying to relive the past and thus was stuck in the present. Little Red quickly revved up its engine and caught on with Antique car and drove on the road of Life and into the horizon of 2013.

'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.'  - Robert Frost

The Little Engine

Little Engine had gotten its engine fixed. It also had brand new spanking tires and a body wax that shone 'till one could use it as a mirror! Little Engine was pleased that it could now resume its journey.  

Little Engine revved up its brand new engine and was all ready to go. And as the Little Engine stepped on the accelerator, it slammed on its brakes. 

'Where should I go?'

Oh my God!!!

'I do not know where to go!!!!!'

Little Engine switched off its engine and went deep into thought.

'I could go to the sea to play with the dolphins.' 

'Or I could go to the mountains to enjoy the fresh, mountain air.'

'Better still, I could be in the fields of gold and enjoy the beautiful sunset.'

Little Engine decided to Waze to find out which roads were the best roads to take. But as Little Engine started to Waze, it realized that it did not know where to go... 

Little Engine was stumped. Even with a brand new engine, it was heading no where...

The Wheels of the Car Go Round and Round

It was bound to happen. The Little Engine had been humming consistently for an extended period of time. It went on and on and on over the bumpy roads that had potholes here and there. 

Many had thought that the Little Engine would have worn out its engine a long time ago. But it surprised everybody. In fact, the Little Engine surprised itself at how far it had gone. The Little Engine could not even see the starting line from where it was now.

Yet it was certainly far from the finish line. 

But the inevitable happened. 

It started with a tiny, squeaking sound.

And then a little clunking here and there.

Little engine thought little of it and continued on with its journey. 

And then the clanking began.

Trouble getting the engine to start in the morning ensued. And when it finally started, the engine coughed out a thick, black, cloud of smoke. 

'Woe is me!' said the Little Engine.

The mechanics said that the Little Engine was suffering from a severe burnout. Replacing the engine would take time and that the time to rest would be good for Little Engine to recuperate.

What Little Engine did not realise was the fight to go on and on had taken a toll on its wheels. The depression in the tyres was obvious to everyone who had eyes that could see. Little Engine had felt the depression creeping into its wheels. But it choose to go on, thinking that going on would help the wheels from sinking further into depression. Oh, but it was wrong! The depression ate into the wheels and almost caused Little Engine to have an accident from burst tyres. It was truly a blessing in disguise that Little Engine's engine burnt out. 

Instead of resting, Little Engine became agitated. It felt that time was being wasted. It could have covered hundreds of miles by now if it had not stopped. But as Little Engine rested, it realised that it had been fuelled by exhaustion and not determination to move forward. 

And that made Little Engine to be even more depressed. 

And then reality set in. Little Engine realised that it could not cross that wide chasm in this journey called Life. And for the first time in its journey of Life, Little Engine wondered whether it will ever reach the finish line.

Little Engine had fallen into the cracks of depression and was slowly sinking in quick sand...