Look Alike Sound Alike Medications

I saw this in an ER. Thought that it is a very good chart to be aware of.

The Crippling Pain, The ER Visits & THE Scope (Part 1)

The pain started last Sunday. I had thought that it was my usual (GERD) reflux problem which was acting up again. So I took my usual GERD meds - Nexium, Motilium and some milk of magnesia. There was no relief at all. This time, it became a full-blown attack which had me doubling over in pain. I increased the meds and took a double dose. The pain did not abate. And I was extremely-super-gassy.

By Tuesday I was a slow-moving-hunched-over-shuffling Evelyn. I added Ganaton to the list of meds.

I went to the ER at the hospital which is a stone's throw away from my place on Wednesday. Hubby had to take an emergency leave. When I told the doctor the list of meds I've been ingesting, he said that I was already on the highest range of medication for reflux. The only option left was to IV the medicine into my system. Since I am allergic to painkillers, this was what they could do for me.  He asked me whether I would want to be admitted! They could IV the meds round the clock.

NO WAY!

I went home after they IV-ed the meds. It gave some slight relief.

By nightfall, I could feel the medicines wearing out.

By Thursday, I could not eat more than 2 spoonful of anything. The pain came back with vengeance. And I developed a mild fever. And my stools became loose stools.

What could it be? I don't have an appendix anymore as I had an appendicitis 8 years ago. I just had an MRI done last month which covered my stomach, gallbladder, liver, pancreas, spleen, ovaries, and bladder. All my blood tests were normal.

What was this pain?

Hubby rushed back and brought me to the ER again. This time we went to the hospital where my gastroenterologist works. I actually had an appointment later with my gastroenterologist but the pain was awful and I couldn't wait for the appointment time.

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The doctor at the ER was a ........... (I'll let you fill in the blanks yourself to whatever names you can think of.)

Below is the conversation between ER doctor and me.

ER Doctor: So what pain is this you're having?

Me: It's my stomach. I have reflux and this pain which started on Sunday will not let up. (I then proceeded to tell him the list of meds that I have taking and the visit to the ER on Wednesday which I had more meds IV-ed into me.) I actually have an appointment later with Dr. Rockstar but I couldn't wait for it as the pain is horrible and I'm having a mild grade fever. Maybe you could page him to come down to see me instead?

ER Doctor: (Chooses to ignore me and looks bored to death and gives me the impression that I am either on a trip to the hospital for fun or I am making all this up just to make this trip to the hospital so that I can contribute to his September salary. He then proceeds to ask me to lie down and started to press my abdomen to pinpoint to where the pain was.)

ER Doctor: (After pressing my abdomen for awhile...) I think it's your kidneys. I think you might have stones. Let's do an urine test. Also, I would like to give you Tramadol for the pain. (Tramadol is a painkiller).

Me: WHAT?! It's my stomach that's hurting. My kidneys are FINE! F.I.N.E!!!!!! I don't want that Tramadol. Anyway, I have an appointment with my gastroenterologist, Mr. Rockstar later. I'll go see him.

ER Doctor: Ok then. (He had such a look of disdain and an air of boredom about him.)

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Hubby then wheeled me over to Dr. Rockstar's clinic.

When we arrived at his clinic, Dr. Rockstar's assistant asked to why did the ER not page him to go see me? I told them about ER Doctor's wonderful behaviour and superb diagnosis. They just shook their heads.

Dr. Rockstar was actually quite frustrated with me as I have been seeing him for the few months with this same pain in the same area (though the intensity of the pain wasn't this terrible). (That was why he had sent me to have the MRI done last month.) At that time he was worried that it was my pancreas. My grandfather had died of stomach cancer and my dad's cousin died of some stomach ailment screaming in pain in the hospital until he died. Maybe it is some kind of stomach ailment genes in our family. Imagine MY level of frustration when even my doctor is frustrated and perplexed.

Since everything came back fine, we just left it at that last month.

This round, since there was no answer, and the pain was so debilitating and crippling, an endoscopy and colonoscopy was recommended. And I was to have it on Friday morning, (which was yesterday).

The last meal was to be at 6pm and I was not to have any vegetables, fruits, red meat, bread, oats, cereal and etc. And I was to drink this (picture below) horrible-diesel-tasting-diarrhoea-inducing-drink to prepare for the colonoscopy.

(...to be continued.)

Anaphylaxis (YouTube)

I found a few interesting YouTube videos explaining about anaphylaxis.

This video below should be watched by everyone who works in the medical line!

The Power of Abstinence!

Abstinence. I am sure that you must be wondering if I have had too much exposure to synthetic chemicals and salicylates that I am now a raving, mad woman screaming to her readers about abstinence!

Haha!

The word 'abstinence' is defined as a voluntary restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to abstention from sexual intercourse, alcohol or food.

To people living with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis, abstinence is a powerful act that keeps us safe and symptoms-free. Instead of abstaining from activities that give us pleasure, we abstain from things that can kill us or trigger attacks that send us rushing to the ER.

If certain foods trigger our attacks, we abstain from consuming it.

If certain smells trigger our attacks, we abstain from smelling it.

If certain situations or places trigger our attacks, we abstain from being in such situations or places.

If certain medications trigger our attacks, we abstain from letting them enter into our system.

If certain cleaning agents trigger our attacks, we abstain from using it.

What I have noticed from living with IA during these 3 years is that by abstaining from eating, smelling or using foods, drinks or detergents that can trigger an attack for me, my body has been in the process of slowly healing itself. I find that when I go on total abstinence, I tolerate smells and even vegetables packed with salicylates better.

BUT, after indulging in a MINUTE amount (which is equivalent to a sip of deliciously, salicylate-packed apple and orange juice OR a teaspoon of red spinach, okra, capsicum, tomatoes or even a few slices of cucumbers; which are packed with salicylates), I go back to TOTAL ABSTINENCE! It is like a detox process where the salicylates slowly seep out of my system. Then when the salicylate levels are extremely low, I indulge again in small amounts and then abstain totally from salicylates again.

American Pregnancy Association website states that abstinence prevents pregnancy 100% of the time when practiced consistently.

I say abstinence from our triggers prevents us from attacks 100% of the time when we diligently practice it!

So who is jumping on this bandwagon of abstinence with me?

The 10 Must-Dos and Must-Haves of an IA Person

1. Epi-Pen 

Carry your Epi-Pen at all times. Even in the house. And yes, even in the toilet. And also it should be at your bedside table when you sleep. (IMPORTANT: Epi-Pens have expiry dates! So be aware of when your pens expire. Get them replaced before they expire. If not, YOU will expire if you have a full-blown anaphylactic attack without an Epi.

2. Medic Alert 

Wear a Medic Alert bracelet or necklace. Yes, even if the ER nurse asks you whether it is an amulet or what language 'Medic Alert' is in.

3.Handphone 

Carry your hand phone with you at all times. Yes, even in the toilet. And please carry a hand phone that has been charged!

4. Medicines 

Carry your medicines with you at all times. Yes, even if it's a walk to the park nearby. You never know what might happen. Shit happens. And it could happen anytime and anywhere. Better to be prepared than dead.

5. Medicines

Eat your meds everyday. Be punctual about it. And don't wait till last minute to get them refilled. They could be out of stock.

6. Letter 

I carry an envelope with the word 'ALLERGY' in capitals, bold and underlined. And in it are letters which some of my doctors wrote, explaining my condition and that I am a patient with a history of anaphylaxis. 

7. Support Group

Find one. It really helps as you will not feel so alone. And when you are down, they can lift you up with encouragement as they speak the same language as you do. Or even find similar people like you. Of course there will be people who will be selfish and not willing to share their survival guide with you. It's ok. Move on until you have found the right one. 

I have found wonderful people from USA, Canada, UK, New Zealand, Australia and even Brazil who have really encouraged me. And I have learned more about my condition and tips on how to survive better.

8. Blood Pressure Machines 

I have one and if I am feeling unwell after an exposure to salicylate or chemicals, I will monitor my blood pressure. If it starts plunging, then I will Epi myself and head to the ER.

9. Know Your Trigger Points 

10. Eat, Sleep and Be Merry 

Easier said than done, but it is necessary for our survival.

Medic Alert

If you have allergies, you should be wearing a Medic Alert bracelet or necklace.

The purpose of Medic Alert is to provide information of an unconscious person concerning their medical history and allergies. Fatality could be avoided in such situations.

For Medic Alert Malaysia, you can go to this website below:

Medic Alert Malaysia

Though I have been asked by a nurse in the ER to whether my Medic Alert bracelet is an amulet, I still believe in wearing it. Better to be safe than sorry.

The Epi Pen

The Epi-Pen

I have used the Epi-Pen twice in these 34 months and it saved my life. Here's a video on how to use the Epi-Pen.

It is vital and crucial for people with anaphylaxis to be carrying these with them. I carry two with me at all times. Even when I am in the house. AT ALL TIMES!

Be safe, be prepared and do not hesitate to use it when you're having a reaction. It will buy you time to get help. Trust me, it saved me.

For more information on the Epi-Pen, you can visit this web-site:
Epi-Pen

Times of Reflection

Today is December 1st 2011. 30 more days and it will be the end of the year. And so I asked myself what 'achievements' have I achieved this year? How have I grown this year? What have I done with my life this year which is different from the last?

I went through a long period of depression this year. I had a relapse which sent me rushing to the ER in December 2010. And the best part was, it happened on my birthday! A very unique birthday present indeed. The ER doctor wasn't the least bit alarmed when I told him I had jabbed myself with the Epi-Pen and that I have had anaphylactic shocks before. And when he casually asked to what may have caused this visit to the ER, I told him that it was the Peckham pear that I had consumed 2 hours before. You should have seen the look on his face! It was as though I had told him that I was a Martian from planet Jupiter and that I have come to give him moonstones from the sun. My point exactly. He did not believe me and acted like he had just heard the most ridiculous thing in his entire doctor life. It was as though I had completely made the story up and had gone to the ER for fun. It was only after they had a quick look through my file and saw my history, that the doctor became 'concerned' and asked me whether I could breathe or not. If it was a fatal attack, I would have been a corpse by the time he was 'concerned'. I was sent home after a dose of Hydrocortisone and Puriton was administered. I was still strong emotionally and mentally even though I had become sensitive to salivylates again. Prior to this relapse, I could eat food with salicylates with no reaction and could take all sorts of smell with no reaction for almost a year.

But after the relapse, I started contracting viruses and infections like a lint trap. I was constantly ill. Being ill and being super-sensitive to salicylates again wore me down emotionally. I was a wreck mentally. It came to a point that I had to be admitted because of a severe sinus infection which resulted in me blowing out globs of mucus with blood. By the time the whole lint-trap-catching-infections all came to a stop, it was already March 2011! 3 months of being ill continuously with no meds and reacting to every single smell finally broke my spirit. I fell into a depression so deep that I had spiraled out of control. I couldn't wake up in the mornings. And there were many, many mornings that I had woken up just in time to brush my teeth, dump the chicken in the pot to boil chicken soup and then go pick my son up from his school. And this went on for months.

I decided to give myself time. I decided not to push myself into trying to get out of the abyss that I was in. And slowly and steadily, I got out. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel again.

And then August came. And I started having near-anaphylaxis attacks again! Week after week after week of attacks. Everything and anything was triggering the attacks. Before I could even finish bringing the laundry into the house, my mouth, sinus cavities, nose and throat would be burning and by the time I got into the house, my head would be pounding, my eyes red and I would start to have difficulty breathing. And then the diarrhea and the stupor for days from the double and triple doses of medications. All because the Neighbour was cooking something that irritated my system. Or the Neighbour had her laundry reeking with softener and laundry detergent that smelt like it came from Perfume Factory. I did wear masks. But they were too thin. And so began the hunt for thick cloth masks. And then I went to see my immunologist again and told him what I was using, eating and I told him about my garden. And lo and behold, I discovered that the Lantanas which were in my garden contain high-levels of salicylates! And I had SIX pots of them!!!! I absolutely LOVE Lantanas. And so with a heavy heart, I got rid of them. And it was end September. Finally October came and my system finally stopped reacting to every single thing. Finally the calm after constantly trying to outrun the tsunami for 2 months. And then I got a viral flu in November!!! Talk about being pushed to the limit.

So what have I achieved in 2011? My attempt to eat Nasi Lemak and sushi in 2011 has still not yet materialize. But I have been able to consume a certain brand of pasta in small amounts with no reaction. I can eat small amounts of food with salicylate here and there with no reaction. I have learned to cook salicylate-free food in more ways than I did last year. And that is a great achievement for me. I have grown to be more calm in stormy weathers this year compared to last year. I have corrected more of my imperfections which others have pointed out to me. And I have become even more resilient. Though my body is still weak, but my spirit, soul and mind are not.

I started this blog in order to look for people who are in the same boat as I am in and to share what I have been through. And I did. And these group of people have been a great encouragement. At least to them, I am not speaking Greek! I had also joined online support groups and forums to learn more and to share. And I have found a very good Idiopathic Anaphylaxis support group.

For most of 2011, I have been on battlegrounds, going out to war and battling for victory. I have lost some wars. I have won some. And at times, I have even looted my enemy's spoil and taken back what I have lost and sometimes more than what I have lost. And I am still alive AND free. And to me, that is the greatest achievement in my entire life on this planet Earth.

Understanding People with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis for Dummies

1. Do Not Stare!

• Did your mother never teach you that it is rude to stare? Wearing a mask does not necessarily mean that I am sick. I am merely protecting myself from the combination of the chemicals that is wafting around in the air.
• I am protecting myself from YOUR germs and viruses.
• Me eating from the Thermos does not mean that I am a cheapskate who can't afford to eat from the restaurant (my family ordered and is feasting away at the food by the way). Don't give us that disgusted look. Don't judge before you know the story. Or need I stamp the word, 'ALLERGY' on my forehead?

2. Do Not Ask Stupid Questions

• "Could it be it's all in your mind?" Who in their right mind would 'pretend' to suffer from 'idiopathic anaphylaxis' and be home-bound, drugged up and not live a life of a normal person?!
• "Maybe you need to be MORE positive?" If I'm not positive, I would not have lasted 30 months, mind you.
• "Are you sure you are not imagining all this?" Let me tell you what IMAGINATION is. Imagination is skinning you alive and hanging you on a 10 foot pole and leaving you out there for the vultures to feast on you. Now THAT'S imagination!
• "Maybe you are not praying enough?" "Maybe you need to have MORE faith?" "Have you been reading enough of the Word of GOD?" Just because I don't punctuate my every sentence with 'Hallelujah!' or 'Praise the Lord' does not mean I do not have faith or I don't believe. I believe in God. I don't believe in the commercialization of God. Period.

3. It Is Not About You

• Don't take it personally if I move back, cover my nose or put on a mask because of your over-powering perfume. For me, it's like walking into the gas chamber. I can even taste your perfume and it translates into a chemical taste which burns my mouth, tongue, lips and throat.

4. Don't Say Stupid Things

• Don't tell me, 'You certainly don't look sick! Are you sure you're that sick?' Seriously, who would in their right mind be out if they are LOOKING sick?! Of course I don't. It's my good day. Do you think I would be out if I looked sick???? I would be in bed, drugged up when I am SICK. Certainly not out shopping in a mall!
• Don't tell me that my life is so pitiful, so sad, so terrible and so horrible that I can't go anywhere, eat like a normal person or live like a normal person. Of course I know that! It's like telling a cancer patient on chemotherapy 'You're going bald.' Duh!!!

5. Learn to empathize.

The following four points are for doctors, nurses and people in the medical line.

6. As a doctor, don't tell me that you don't know what is wrong with me, is afraid to dispense medicine and yet keep me in the hospital for 'observation'. Pass me to another doctor who understands and can treat me. Don't sit in front of me and stare into space for eternity and only respond when I interrupt your 'deep thinking' by telling me 'I don't know what to do with you.'

7. When a patient arrives at the ER telling you that he/she is having an allergy attack, don't tell them to have a sit first or register your wife/daughter/mother/god-mother/great grandmother first and then take your own sweet time discussing with the other nurses about the previous patient who almost died. Surprise! Surprise! Now isn't it surprising that your previous patient almost died with your immaculate service?

8. Do not ask me whether my Medic Alert bracelet is an amulet and whether 'Medic Alert' is in Thai language. Shall I  take the Hydrocortisone 250mg and Puriton and jab myself while you go figure out what language 'MEDIC ALERT' is in?

9. Don't snicker or snigger in my face when I tell you that I am allergic to chemicals. Your ignorance and arrogance = death for your patients.

10. Since this is a lesson for dummies, let me offer you some tips on how to deal and interact with people like me.

If you do not know what to say to me:

• Ask me how I am. I will tell you. In a short and sweet manner.

• Tell me that I look good/healthy and NOT 'You certainly don't look sick, you know,' dripping with sarcasm.

• Tell me that I have your prayers and support. I will say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

• Tell me to continue fighting and continue being positive. I will say thank you.

• Don't bore the living daylights out of me by whining to me about your sad, depressing and pathetic life and that you wished that you were dead because you broke a fingernail or because you've been promoted from a size two dress to a size three or because your boobs have begun to sag.

• Do not tell me that I should have MORE faith and try to have another child. This truly pisses me off. Are you going to take over my position as mother and raise my child up if I die as a result of a leap of foolishness?

I welcome genuine and sincere questions from people who want to know more. I despise people who ask questions to shoot me down or dismiss my condition like it's an 'imagined' condition or who pretend to listen and then ask me the same questions over AND over again. 

To all fellow people like me, feel free to add to what I may have missed out. Let's keep on fighting and stay strong my fellow friends!

The Day I Met Death

The sensational news of the 33 miners stuck for 2 months plus in a hot, humid tunnel 2,050 feet underground in Chile captivated the attention of the world. And for the first 17 days, they were completely cut off from the world above them. No communication whatsoever. And nobody above ground knew whether these 33 men were alive or dead. The amazing part is that they survived for 17 days with Death breathing down their necks. Their determination and sheer will to survive is astounding. This experience will stay with them forever. Their lives will be transformed. I hope that they will progress and not regress. To give up in life after overcoming death would be such a waste.

It has been 30 months now since I met Death. And these 30 months have been life-changing for me. It has been nothing but difficult and challenging, but the journey of self-discovery, of seeing things in a whole new perspective or learning to live again has been necessary. It has taught me how to make lemonade out of the lemons that life has thrown at me. Or rather to make compost out of the shit that was thrown in my life. 

At the mere mention of the word 'death', many would cringe, touch wood, change the subject abruptly or even say, 'CHOY!' But it is 'death' that I am going to talk about today. By encountering 'death', I was rudely awakened from my slumber and I learned to live all over again. And honestly looking back at all the years that I have lived, I was never alive. I was like the living dead. A person with a living body, but with a dead soul. Are you one of those living dead? Just barely scraping through each day of your life. Dragging your life through each day waiting for the next to end. Or living a life with no passion, purpose or joy.

March 2nd 2009 was just like any other day for me. Waking up, going about my normal routine which was looking after my child, preparing meals and normal house chores. The first encounter happened during lunchtime. After chewing the peanuts from the chicken and peanut soup for the umpteenth time, a very strong foreboding feeling washed over me. I knew something was terribly wrong but didn't know what it was as this had never happened to me. I immediately went to my mother and told her that if I collapsed, my Epi-Pen was in the cabinet next to the TV. The foreboding feeling then left and I didn't give it much thought after that.

Dinner time came and I drank the same soup again! This time the reaction manifested physically. My lips swelled to the point that they would put Angelina Jolie to shame! And by the time I reached the hospital, my blood pressure had plunged, my throat and tongue had swelled until I had difficulty talking. I was given steroids and anti-histamine and was admitted for two days. Two days of continuos steroids and anti-histamines. I was discharged on Wednesday morning and was rushed to the ER again on Wednesday night. I kept reacting, (to what I didn't know at that time). This time the ER doctor sent me home saying that 'I looked fine and was fine' even after we told them of what had happened on Monday. I was very lucky that we did not meet this doctor in the wee hours of Saturday morning.

On Saturday at 1.30am, the worst allergy reaction struck. I was very stoned and groggy from all the medication, but a voice in my heart told me not to sleep. I think if I had slept, I would have died in my sleep. I felt that my heart was failing. My whole system was shutting down and I was going into shock. I was blacking out. I woke my husband up and he jabbed me with the Epi-Pen and once again we rushed to the ER. This time I knew that I might not return at all. I slipped into unconsciousness in the car and then suddenly I wasn't in my body anymore. I moved into this dimly lit tunnel and Death embraced me. I was in Death's arms and it was leading me to go deeper into the tunnel. The coldness that Death was can never be measured with all the eons of winters on this earth combined. As I moved into the tunnel with Death, I heard my husband’s voice calling me from a distance. He kept on calling my name, asking me to go back and that our son needs me. I looked back and in an instance, I was back in my body.

By the time we arrived at the ER, my veins had collapsed and they had to prick anywhere and everywhere to get a vein. I was lucky that the ER doctor that night had also experienced an anaphylactic attack and thus understood what allergy was and the seriousness of an allergy attack. When they finally found a vein and when the steroids and antihistamine coursed through my veins, I felt such relief. I could breathe. I could feel my heart returning to normal. And I knew that I was safe, for now.

I was admitted again, pumped up with medications and I was pricked by the daytime vampires, night time vampires and afternoon vampires constantly. Blood for this test, that test and every test that was imaginable. Up till today I still bear some scars of the needle marks. They remind me of how much I've been through and the things that I've learned throughout this journey.

The following months were hell. Someone had to be with me all the time. People who have had anaphylactic shocks were susceptible to having recurrent attacks. And when that happens, we could just collapse. And with no one around to administer the Epi-Pen, it would be fatal.

All the test results came back negative. That was certainly good news AND bad news. The good news was that there was nothing wrong that they could find with me. The bad news was, what was it that happened to me then? What triggered the attacks? More trips to doctors, hospitals and tests and yet still NO answer. The only answer was in the years of experience of Dr.Yadav, Malaysia's only immunologist allergist. Even his tests came back negative. But because of his years of experience and the vast knowledge that he has, he believed strongly that I was salicylate sensitive. Salicylate is a component in aspirin. Salicylate is practically in everything. It is in food flavouring, sauces, food colouring, additives, spices, herbs, food preservatives, and even in fruits and vegetables. Salicylate is used in shampoos, soaps, paint, creams, toothpastes, detergents, mouthwash, lotions and etc. You get my drift, they are in EVERYTHING! How was I supposed to live a 'normal' life or even stay alive when everything had salicylate? My diet was reduced to fresh food: chicken, fish and a selected few fruits and vegetables. And the only thing that I could cook them with was salt, sugar and sunflower oil. No outside and processed food AT ALL! For months I was just eating the same food; day-in and day-out. Even the smell of belacan, durian, petai, detergents, shampoos, soaps or even hair-creams would trigger an allergy reaction. Because of the fear of anaphylactic shock, I had to go for a colonoscopy anesthetic-free. The doctors said I was too high-a-risk. When I'm in pain, I have no painkillers, NSAIDS, or even Panadol. Doctors tell me the same lines all the time, 'You're a doctor's worst nightmare because you're allergic to EVERYTHING!’ ‘Try not to fall sick.’ ‘I don't know what medicine to give to you.' And if I had to try a new medicine, as there are no more options, I would have to be admitted and be placed on high-alert, in case I react to the medication.

I became very depressed. I fell into a very deep abyss where only darkness ruled. I was very frustrated, angry, bitter and became a recluse. I am very, very blessed to have a strong and loving family. Without them I would not have survived those extremely difficult days. There were days so bad that the neighbor's detergent could trigger a reaction so terrible that all I could do was curl up on the bed and just pray for all of it to end. Smells that triggered migraines from the depths of Hades and severe burning sensation on my tongue as though it was sprayed with acid and then dipped in salt, experimentation with new foods that caused loose bowels until I thought even my entrails would be expunged permanently, attacks so bad that my husband and I actually went to the hospital to wait just in case I dropped dead.

I was beyond fed-up with everything. I was on anti-histamines and steroids everyday. And when the attacks came, I would have to double or triple the doses. I was so stoned from all these anti-histamines. It came to a point that I lost my soul. I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't even function as a person, as a wife, as a mother or a daughter. One day, I decided I had to take charge of my life. I did not cheat death to end up with a life like this. Of course it was so difficult at first. I had to experiment with new foods bit by bit. If I reacted to the new food, I had to go back to the 'salicylate-free' diet and when I am out of it, I had to try again. I had to learn to cook, to make food in new ways. I had to learn to make my own chemical-free bread, cookies, biscuits, cakes and etc. Basically I had to learn to make everything that I put in my mouth. I had to flee many times in shopping malls when someone's perfume suffocated my air space. I had to forgo many outings and gatherings. And whenever I go out, I have to cook my own food and bring it out. I had to keep my house 'chemical free'. I hate it when people give me looks of sympathy, or said, 'WAH, everything also cannot eat, so poor thing! What kind of life is that?'

It was during these 30 months that I've learned to be resilient, to know which battles are worth fighting for, and which ones to let go. I've learned the important things in life are in our hearts not in things. I've learned to live a life free of fear. What is to fear? I have met Death. I've learned the meaning of love. I've learned joy. I've learned to never give up. I've learned to appreciate. I have rediscovered my passion in life again. My vision of life and what life is can never be the same.

It took me 30 months to reach where I am today. Of course some days are 'Moderato', some 'Adagio', some 'Allegro' and some 'Pesante'. I have days where I throw hissy fits worse than frustrated toddlers. I have days where my mood is like of a woman with PMS and menopause combined. There are days where I keep walking into a brick wall. There are days where I feel like I’m clawing my way up a steep, icy mountain with my bare hands. But I take a day at a time. One hurdle at a time. In this period of 30 months, I have had relapses. I have also had long periods of time where I did not react to anything. Today I can eat so many more types of food (and reaction-free) compared to 30 months ago. I can even eat foods with a small amount of salicylate. Of course I have yet to try eating 'outside food'. That is my next goal.

To the people who are reading this, do not wait till Death comes knocking at your door before you realise the life that you've been living has been a farce, a facade. Live your life with passion. Get your priorities right. Ask yourself, 'Why are you alive? What is it that you want out of your life? What do you plan to achieve in/with your life? Are you working towards your dreams? Are you happy and contented with who and what you are?' Live your life before it’s too late.

‘Life is something that everyone should try at least once.’ – Henry J. Tillman

‘There is no wealth but life.’ – John Ruskin