Before you proceed to read this post, do click on the links below as these three posts are connected.
Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)
Life = Driving in KV (Part 2)
1. 'Why did you step on the brakes??!!!'
And this was said by the person who smashed into the car in front. In a situation where the cars were stuck in a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam.
2. 'Why did you not go??!!!'
This was said by a person who smashed into the car in front. In a situation where the traffic volume was at its highest at the round-a-bout. Thus, the the person who got smashed could not 'GO' as the 'smash-ee' claimed.
3. 'I thought your car was moving! Are you sure it didn't move?'
This was said by the person who smashed into the car in front. In a situation where traffic was at a stand-still.
4. 'Can we not go to that workshop to repair your car? I know a FAR cheaper one!'
This was said by the person who smashed into the car in front.
5. 'Oh, you mean the cross over the U-Turn logo means I can't U-Turn?'
6. 'But I DID signal! I signaled left and turned right!'
7. 'You should not have stepped on the brakes at all! If you didn't step on the brakes, this accident would not have happened at all!'
8. 'You should have avoided me!'
This was said after a collision that was caused by a reversing car on a busy highway!
9. 'Are you sure that my car banged into yours? Not your car banged into mine?'
WOW! I did not know that the law of inertia could be broken! You must be Isaac Newton the second!
10. 'If your car wasn't in front of mine, this accident would not have happened!'
'Google is working on self-driving cars, and they seem to work. People are so bad at driving cars that computers don't have to be that good to be much better.' - Marc Andreesen
'Have you noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?' - George Carlin
'I had to stop driving my car for awhile... the tires got dizzy.' - Steven Wright
'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking FINE!' - Tommy Cooper
Showing posts with label Driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Driving. Show all posts
Monday, 30 April 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Life = Driving in KV (Part 2 - The Top 10 Drivers That You Meet On The Road)
The reason I titled it 'The Drivers That You Meet On The Road' is because there are drivers that you WILL meet on the curb, on the sidewalk, on the lawn, on car roofs and even in buildings. It is truly 'amazing' how the drivers of today drive their vehicles. One would have thought that as civilization advance, people would be more 'intelligent'. Possess more common sense. Sadly, that's not the case. In fact, common sense is becoming harder to find these days.
So here are the top 10 drivers that you meet on the road.
1. The Road Bully
This person is basically a coward. This driver needs to bully in order to feel powerful and strong. He thinks he is omnipotent. Sad to say, these type of drivers are pathetic. I am sure you have seen how the drivers of big vehicles bully the smaller cars on purpose. No matter which lane the smaller car turns to, the big bully overtakes and follows closely. Beware road bully, inside that small car could be a 'chili padi' driver! If you get burned by one, don't cry for your mamma.
2. The Tailgaters
These type of drivers get their kicks from sniffing other people's asses. They love to follow other cars' asses very, very, very closely and will do so until they smash into one. And they do so at high speed too. These type of drivers are fools, endangering not only their lives but the lives of others too.
3. The Gawkers
These are the drivers who gawk at every single accident (to obtain the number plate of the crashed car in order to buy their 'lucky number' at the 4D shop). Here gawk, there gawk, everywhere gawk-gawk! And a lot of times, these gawkers are the ones who hold up traffic, causing massive traffic jams and also sadly, accidents.
4. The Illiterates
All of us who drive must have gone through some sort of compulsory class and training and exams right? Does this not mean that every driver has been taught the functions of the car gadgets and road signs? But nooooOOOOO!!! Drivers cannot understand the no u-turn sign, no-entry sign, no parking sign and cannot seem to fathom that they have to signal when they want to cut lanes, turn or stop.
5. Sir Honks-A-Lot
Honk! Honk! HONK!!!!!! It is like the honking is music to their ears. I honk you! You honk me! We all honk-honk each other. The more honks the merrier! We all honk together-gether!!
6. Miss-Brakes-A-Lot
Need I say more?
7. The Road Hoggers
These are the drivers that drive at snail-pace on the express lane. Exactly my point. They choose to drive the slowest they can at the fastest lane on the roads. Maybe they get the thrills that they are irritating every driver on the third lane or somewhere in their mind, the fastest lane is supposed to be the slowest. Or they can't tell the difference between fast and slow.
8. The Sleeping Beauties
It is truly amazing how these type of drivers can drive with their eyes closed! Amazing. They must be some kind of mutant that have eye-lids which are somehow transparent. I mean, I can't drive with my eyes closed you know.
9. The Multi-tasker
I think these drivers are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! Can you imagine applying on mascara and eye shadow while driving on our 'evenly tarred road'? And how some drivers can be watching the DVD in the car while driving? Or SMS-ing while navigating through heavy traffic, or even while flying at break-neck speed? Wow! These people must have been born with an extra set of brains and eyes and hands too.
10. The F1 Drivers
These are the Michael Schumacher and Kimi Raikkonen wannabes and the road is theirs to weave in and out at their whim and fancy. For these wannabes, there are no rules, no regulations nor pit stops.
I am sure that almost all of us have met the 10 drivers stated above somewhere along in our driving lives. And I am sure that all of us have met people like these in our lives. The boss who bullies his people into submission. Or the doctor who bullies his patients into believing that there is no such thing as being 'allergic to chemicals'. The people who hold you up in life, irritate you with incessant 'honkings' as in endless whininess and complaining about how their life suck and drain out every single positive ion and atom out of you. The people who couldn't give a damn that their behavior or doings would affect your life and cause much trouble for you. And especially jerks who purposely slow you down so that they can cause you misery, stress and pain. And then gloat about it. Well, that will be another post for me to write on.
Coming soon: Life = Driving in KV (Part 3 - The Top 10 Stupidest Statements That Spew Out Of The Mouths of Drivers)
Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)
So here are the top 10 drivers that you meet on the road.
1. The Road Bully
This person is basically a coward. This driver needs to bully in order to feel powerful and strong. He thinks he is omnipotent. Sad to say, these type of drivers are pathetic. I am sure you have seen how the drivers of big vehicles bully the smaller cars on purpose. No matter which lane the smaller car turns to, the big bully overtakes and follows closely. Beware road bully, inside that small car could be a 'chili padi' driver! If you get burned by one, don't cry for your mamma.
2. The Tailgaters
These type of drivers get their kicks from sniffing other people's asses. They love to follow other cars' asses very, very, very closely and will do so until they smash into one. And they do so at high speed too. These type of drivers are fools, endangering not only their lives but the lives of others too.
3. The Gawkers
These are the drivers who gawk at every single accident (to obtain the number plate of the crashed car in order to buy their 'lucky number' at the 4D shop). Here gawk, there gawk, everywhere gawk-gawk! And a lot of times, these gawkers are the ones who hold up traffic, causing massive traffic jams and also sadly, accidents.
4. The Illiterates
All of us who drive must have gone through some sort of compulsory class and training and exams right? Does this not mean that every driver has been taught the functions of the car gadgets and road signs? But nooooOOOOO!!! Drivers cannot understand the no u-turn sign, no-entry sign, no parking sign and cannot seem to fathom that they have to signal when they want to cut lanes, turn or stop.
5. Sir Honks-A-Lot
Honk! Honk! HONK!!!!!! It is like the honking is music to their ears. I honk you! You honk me! We all honk-honk each other. The more honks the merrier! We all honk together-gether!!
6. Miss-Brakes-A-Lot
Need I say more?
7. The Road Hoggers
These are the drivers that drive at snail-pace on the express lane. Exactly my point. They choose to drive the slowest they can at the fastest lane on the roads. Maybe they get the thrills that they are irritating every driver on the third lane or somewhere in their mind, the fastest lane is supposed to be the slowest. Or they can't tell the difference between fast and slow.
8. The Sleeping Beauties
It is truly amazing how these type of drivers can drive with their eyes closed! Amazing. They must be some kind of mutant that have eye-lids which are somehow transparent. I mean, I can't drive with my eyes closed you know.
9. The Multi-tasker
I think these drivers are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! Can you imagine applying on mascara and eye shadow while driving on our 'evenly tarred road'? And how some drivers can be watching the DVD in the car while driving? Or SMS-ing while navigating through heavy traffic, or even while flying at break-neck speed? Wow! These people must have been born with an extra set of brains and eyes and hands too.
10. The F1 Drivers
These are the Michael Schumacher and Kimi Raikkonen wannabes and the road is theirs to weave in and out at their whim and fancy. For these wannabes, there are no rules, no regulations nor pit stops.
I am sure that almost all of us have met the 10 drivers stated above somewhere along in our driving lives. And I am sure that all of us have met people like these in our lives. The boss who bullies his people into submission. Or the doctor who bullies his patients into believing that there is no such thing as being 'allergic to chemicals'. The people who hold you up in life, irritate you with incessant 'honkings' as in endless whininess and complaining about how their life suck and drain out every single positive ion and atom out of you. The people who couldn't give a damn that their behavior or doings would affect your life and cause much trouble for you. And especially jerks who purposely slow you down so that they can cause you misery, stress and pain. And then gloat about it. Well, that will be another post for me to write on.
Coming soon: Life = Driving in KV (Part 3 - The Top 10 Stupidest Statements That Spew Out Of The Mouths of Drivers)
Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)
Life can be akin to driving in the Klang Valley (KV). You need to be bold, fearless and full of courage. You need to be prepared to get lost as the signboards are totally 100% informative. In life, you WILL get lost! Everyone gets lost at some point of time in their life. What works for others does not necessarily works for us. Just make sure that you have a handphone and a tank full of petrol. As there are traffic jams everywhere and at any time of the day, make sure you empty your bladder before embarking on your journey, have some snacks in the car and again, make sure your petrol tank is full. In other words, prepare yourself before you go on life's colourful journey.
Driving in KV requires full concentration as there are constantly emergency brakes. The reason? We have lots of gawkers, sleepy drivers and drivers who are permanently entwined with their gadgets. Or should I say handphones. Many or rather most of the drivers today have eyes that are glued to their phones rather than on the road. And when emergency brakes occur, they are not alert enough to avert a collision. Accidents are a normal occurrence in the KV. It is a daily affair. And yet, drivers still do not learn. In life, we should have our eyes on the road of our journey. We need to pay attention to what is happening in our life. If you see a breakdown coming, take a break. If you see a collision in front of you, don't continue head on. Put the brakes on and STOP! And stop whining about wasting those 5 or 15 minutes. Be thankful that you have your life. Be grateful that you are intact! Unharmed. Alive.
I remember how my dad would sit next to me for the next few months after I had obtained my driver's license to guide and to teach me how to maneuver the car. I remember very clearly what he told me about driving around bends and big turns. He told me how my body should flow along with the turn. And if I turned to the left, my body should incline towards the left. And if I turned to the right, my body should incline towards the right. It is true that we should go with the flow in life. We should never be rigid. By inclining ourselves toward the direction that life takes us, we will be able to adapt better and to steer life in an easier manner. Why don't you be rigid when you drive the next time and try to turn that sharp bend and let's see how well you maneuver it.
To be a mature and experienced driver takes time. It is the same with life. It takes time and maturity for one to be able to handle life's unexpected hiccups and bumpy rides. If you give up on driving, you will get nowhere. Oh yes, you can always rely on our 'efficient' public transport which will cause you endless delays and many times not arriving at your destination at all. And if you give up with life, you are as good as dead. Of course shit happens. Unexpected bangs from the back or side. Breakdowns. Tyre punctures. Shattered windshields by flying pebbles. What will you do then? Give up on driving? Give in to the fear of being smashed again? Take the public transport and get derailed, delayed or not ever arriving at your destination?
The more you drive, the better you will become at it. The more you live your life in an alive manner, trust me, you will excel in life. Someway or another.
Coming soon : Life = Driving in KV(Part 2:The Top 10 Drivers That You Meet On The Road)
Robinson Crusoe's Friday
Driving in KV requires full concentration as there are constantly emergency brakes. The reason? We have lots of gawkers, sleepy drivers and drivers who are permanently entwined with their gadgets. Or should I say handphones. Many or rather most of the drivers today have eyes that are glued to their phones rather than on the road. And when emergency brakes occur, they are not alert enough to avert a collision. Accidents are a normal occurrence in the KV. It is a daily affair. And yet, drivers still do not learn. In life, we should have our eyes on the road of our journey. We need to pay attention to what is happening in our life. If you see a breakdown coming, take a break. If you see a collision in front of you, don't continue head on. Put the brakes on and STOP! And stop whining about wasting those 5 or 15 minutes. Be thankful that you have your life. Be grateful that you are intact! Unharmed. Alive.
I remember how my dad would sit next to me for the next few months after I had obtained my driver's license to guide and to teach me how to maneuver the car. I remember very clearly what he told me about driving around bends and big turns. He told me how my body should flow along with the turn. And if I turned to the left, my body should incline towards the left. And if I turned to the right, my body should incline towards the right. It is true that we should go with the flow in life. We should never be rigid. By inclining ourselves toward the direction that life takes us, we will be able to adapt better and to steer life in an easier manner. Why don't you be rigid when you drive the next time and try to turn that sharp bend and let's see how well you maneuver it.
To be a mature and experienced driver takes time. It is the same with life. It takes time and maturity for one to be able to handle life's unexpected hiccups and bumpy rides. If you give up on driving, you will get nowhere. Oh yes, you can always rely on our 'efficient' public transport which will cause you endless delays and many times not arriving at your destination at all. And if you give up with life, you are as good as dead. Of course shit happens. Unexpected bangs from the back or side. Breakdowns. Tyre punctures. Shattered windshields by flying pebbles. What will you do then? Give up on driving? Give in to the fear of being smashed again? Take the public transport and get derailed, delayed or not ever arriving at your destination?
The more you drive, the better you will become at it. The more you live your life in an alive manner, trust me, you will excel in life. Someway or another.
Coming soon : Life = Driving in KV(Part 2:The Top 10 Drivers That You Meet On The Road)
Robinson Crusoe's Friday
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