41 Months

Time sure flies. It has been 41 months since the day I met Death. As I am writing this, reminiscing all that has happened, all that I have gone through, the places in Life that I have gone through during these 41 months, I feel satiated and a sense of accomplishment.

WHAT?!
You exclaim.

Am I healed?
No.

Have I overcome the biggest obstacle of my life: to live in perfect health?
No.

Can I smell, eat and use anything that I fancy?
No.

Can I drop everything and go anywhere in a heartbeat?
No.

Can I live life as 'normal' people do?
No.

So how can I feel satiated and have a sense of accomplishment?

I can feel satiated because I fought the fight with all of me. I did not go into battle with a half-hearted, half-prepared Evelyn. I did not give up, although I fell down many times. I did not mop in self-pity. I made sure I got up after every fall. I climbed back up the mountain of Salicylates-and-Chemicals after sliding down a millionth time. I got up again and again and again and again AND again. And the 'again and again' is never ending.

And I have started to see a glimmer of hope.

My body started healing in different ways.

My eyesight has improved.

I have been able to take two different types of biscuits and a type of organic flakes. And they are not made by ME!!!! I bought them of the shelves of supermarkets!

I have traveled for the first time on a plane in a very, very long time to another country.

I have pushed myself beyond the boundaries of the life of a salicylate-chemical-sensitive person.

I drive a minimum of 180km every week.

I am able to eat food with salicylates in small amounts.

And that, is a great accomplishment for this warrior!

Just as our national badminton shuttler did not win the gold medal in last night's Olympic 2012 badminton competition, he is a winner indeed even with the silver medal. A champion. A glorified fighter. Because he fought all the way to the end without giving up. He gave his very best. He gave his all. And that makes him a winner!

My battle is far from over. My struggles are far from being over. But at where I am now, I can say that I have fought with all of my heart, with all of my might, with all of me. And that makes me a winner. And thus, I can feel satiated and say that I have accomplished much.


'I shall not die of a cold.  I shall die of having lived.' - Willa Cather

The Fighting Games

The Cloud came
And hung over my head
'Oh no!' I cried, 'Not this same old game!'
To the Cloud I said,
'Take your darkness to the other side instead!'
But no, It made sure It stayed.

It made everything seemed so bleak
I wanted to scream and scream and scream
But instead, what came out was like a strangled bleat
Everything was oh so grim
Refusing to go away, the Cloud stayed.

It made me soaked to the bone
When it decided to empty its contents over me
I said to It, 'You are a heartless stone.'
And it rained down torrents as if It was laughing with glee
And no, it did not go away, It stayed.

Out came the Sun
And I leapt with joy
Lifted off my shoulder weight of tons
I shook my fist at the Cloud and said,
'Take THAT you kill-joy!
For you are now un-employed.'

Time wasn't even ten times ten
When I saw the Cloud
Heading towards me again!
With a look so puffed up and proud
There It was over me, It stayed.

I was so pissed
I was so frustratingly exhausted
I refused to live a life like this
With such restricted movements and life so constipated
I decided, It could not stay.

I lashed it with a whip
Just like the old Indiana Jones
Well, that backfired and the Cloud unzipped
It broke into half and I was soaked to the bones
I ran into buildings
It followed me there
I went to the refuge of Kings
It hovered over me there
I ran to the gutters
Over me, It was there
I hid in the darkest corners
It found me and there, It stayed.

I was sick of these fighting games
The end results were always the same
I could never seem to win
It made life so-not-worth-living.

And then I remembered,
This wonderful and beautiful idiom!
If you can't beat them,
Plan, for them to be beaten! (I mean, join them!)
Thus, I did some shopping,
No, I did not buy bling-blings,
I suited up instead
And there I sat and waited.

The Cloud came
And poured on me just the same,
But THIS time, I had my galoshes, rainproof-cap, umbrella and the raincoat
I stayed dry and unaffected by the rain, and the Cloud could not gloat
And this time,
I stayed!

The Battle of Conquering Ourselves

Buddha once said that it is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

What does conquer mean? Again conquer is a verb. It could mean:

1. To acquire by force of arms; to win in war.

2. To overcome by force or to subdue.

3. To gain, to win or obtain by personal effort.

4. To gain a victory over, surmount, master, overcome.

In our situation, people with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis, life as we all know is a daily battle. We can never forecast what will set us off. For me it is salicylates and chemicals. There are all sorts of chemicals! Even our body produces chemicals!!! So how do I define what sets me off and what does not? One day I do not react to the smell of cabbage being cooked (and that is organic cabbage, mind you) and the next round, I am feeling sick and nauseated like a pregnant woman pumped up with Duphaston (hormones) and a migraine from hell which makes me feel like my head is going to erupt like Mount St. Helen. And that is only cabbage! And I am supposed to conquer myself??!! I can't even conquer the pain and my bowels!

I think conquering can be equated to the daily trudge up the steep Idiopathic Anaphylaxis mountain. You claw your way up even though you know your hands are at the risk of frostbite. Reaching the peak is your ultimate goal and bleeding and broken fingers is not going to stop you from your arduous journey.

I think conquering can be equated to getting on a horse for the first time and learning to ride with the flow even though you know that your behind is going to be so sore the next day to the point that you can hardly walk. Reaching your destination is the ultimate goal in your life.

I think conquering can be equated to fighting IA and moving on attack after attack. It would mean that I have surmounted my struggles.

I think conquering can be equated to taking breaks or having rest stops to refuel, recharge and regain my energy and fighting spirit.

I think conquering can be equated to disallowing fear to rule my life and dictate my motives and actions.

I think conquering can be equated to living my life to the best that I can even with my setbacks and even to the point of having the quality of life.

And I think conquering can be equated to living my life in a happy, peaceful, grateful and serene state as much as possible to the end of my days.

Hence, by conquering oneself,  I, you and we would have won a thousand battles.



35 months ago was the day I met Death.

Thrive

I was going through a host of websites looking for useful information pertaining to my condition when I stumbled upon a woman's website. She is a survivor of sexual child abuse. She and her twin sister were raped, sodomised and forced to perform oral sex by their father almost nightly for eight years. And many times they were subjected to sadistic torture. She started her blog to reach out to survivors like herself and to obtain healing by speaking out. The thing that really caught my attention was what she wrote. She asked whether, '... is it enough to merely want to survive? Or would you rather live your life by being a survivor who wants to thrive?'

A thriver. That made me think really long and hard. I then asked myself, 'Am I not surviving well?' I did not go through sexual abuse as a child. But I did go through a very, very tough period in my life which required me to fight daily in order to survive. I am still fighting daily for my life. And I am surviving. So that makes me a survivor. And I can proudly pat myself on my back that I survived and made it out alive. So what am I lacking then? I fought. I survived. I am alive. But am I thriving?

The word 'thrive' is a verb. Which means it is an action. It is something which you have to do.  The definition of 'thrive' is to prosper, to do well, to flourish, to grow, to develope, to advance, to succeed, to boom, to bloom, to grow rich, to grow strong and healthy. Which brings me to my point: are we people with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis thriving in our lives? Are we prospering where our souls are concerned? Are we doing well mentally? Are we flourishing in our attitudes toward life? Are we growing stronger in our attitude to fight? Are we advancing in this battle with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis? If you are not thriving, then you are merely surviving.

The thing with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis is that we never know when an attack will occur or how bad an attack can get. And in the midst of trying to find our footing in life all over again, we need to move forward and live a life which is full of LIFE! What is wrong with merely surviving? That would mean you are undermining your life from growing in leaps and bounds. By being a thriver, your soul would heal and be strengthened and that could attribute to your healing physically. Yes, we might not be able to travel anywhere to our whims and fancy (or even at all), we might not be able to eat whatever we want, we might not be able to spray ourselves with Elizabeth Arden or Christian Dior's Poison or even walk down the detergent aisle without holding our breath but to run past as quickly as possible with two fingers stuck into our nostrils. But by thriving, we will have the quality of life which all mankind so desperately need. And that is to live our lives even with our setbacks with a happy, contented and peaceful heart. So my million dollar question to you would be this: Are you a survivor or a thriver?




35 months ago was theday I met Death.

Perfect?!! NOT!!!!

I really do not understand why people would perceive my life as perfect. When I say that I am stressed, they will ask, 'Why are you stressed? What is there to be stressed about?! Your life is PERFECT!' Perfect my ass. Even THAT is not perfect. Try living my life for even one hour and we shall see whether you would still deem it to be 'perfect'.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have to fight Idiopathic Anaphylaxis every single day? And now I don't even know what the trigger is! I have been eating fish for 35 months and then WHAM!!! out of the blue, I get a near-anaphylaxis attack after consuming fish which I have been doing so every week. It was supposed to be salicylates. Then it became chemicals. And then now FISH??!! WTH??!!

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have a son at the age of seven who still asks me every single day about death though it has been 35 months? His seven-year-old mind has been seared with death ever since my near-death experience. And he is afraid of loosing his mother and everyone else who is dear to him.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I am constantly running away from people who reek with perfume, places that reek with fragrances/chemicals and even my own house when the neighbour's cooking or detergent wafts over??

How can my life be 'perfect' when I can count the types of food which I am able to consume with 10 fingers and still have some left-over fingers?

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have a hormone problem which plagues me every month and the gynecologist said that the only way to rectify this is to have synthetic hormone replacement? And did I forget to mention that I have to be in the hospital for one week and be placed on high alert?! And there is a possibility of me reacting after that one week.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I cannot even plan my life for 2 bloody days ahead??!! Make that one day.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I do not have 'perfect health'?

How can my life be 'perfect' when I can't even blow my top (as my immunologist said that the stress would lower my immune system and thus cause me to be susceptible to even more anaphylactic attacks)! You mean I can't scream and swear??!! Never mind I will cuss and swear with my pen. Ooops! I mean with my keyboard.

Shall I go on? Or do you still deem my life to be 'PURR-FECT'??!! Just because you can't deal with your own insecurities and setbacks, it does not give you the right to judge and to tell me in dripping sarcasm that my life is 'perfect'.

Now let me tell you why my life is 'perfect' since you insist on it being so.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to fight for it every single day. Or on some days every second.

My life is 'perfect' because I am grateful for what I still have.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to be bullied in life and choose to stand on my ground whether people like it or not.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to compromise my principles.

My life is 'perfect' because I have my family and good friends.

My life is 'perfect' because I believe in equality and in being fair. I do not believe in being shortchanged in life.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to be happy.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to wallow in depression.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to be a failure.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to embrace the storms in life with courage.

My life is 'perfect' because I have inner-peace. And THAT cannot be bought.

And my life is 'perfect' because I am imperfect.

So the next time you decide to have snide remarks about my life being 'perfect', please run it through your gray matter (if you have any) before you open your mouth and know that there is no such thing as a 'perfect' life on planet Earth.

The Three Henchmen

They were a trio. They were the meanest trio that ever existed. Wherever they went, Fear, Pain and Despair were inseparable. . Fear of course was the leader. It would go around scouring for potential victims. And boy, did they have plenty of victims.  


Fear made sure it gripped the heart of the woman who was abused as a child and who is currently living in the women's shelter.  Fear made sure she grew up fearing that no one would love her and thus she grabbed the first available guy that came along though he showed signs of being abusive. Fear made her fearful of walking out of that relationship even though her body, soul and mind were as battered as the battle grounds of Armageddon. 


Fear then proceeded to scour the playground for the most timid child. It made sure the fear that the bully instilled in him stayed. Fear made sure he stayed mum about it until the day he died. Fear also made sure the child was bound by that fear so that he remained bullied even in his adult years. 


Fear then moved on to the housing area of the upper class. It went into the house which was the poshest of the poshest, and floated into that particular room. There sat a woman so plastic that even the plastic recycling company would reject her. Fearing that her husband would replace her for a SYT (Sweet Young Thing), she went under the knife multiple times to make herself 'perfect'. The fear of being rejected and unloved overode the fear of going under the knife so many times, risking her life. And yet after achieving 'perfection', fear still gripped her heart. The same old fear of her husband not loving her, not wanting her and rejecting her. 


Fear then roamed the streets and saw a driver suffocating with fear. Fear then pounded his brain with thoughts of fear of accidents and of loosing control of the vehicle. The driver was seized with a panic attack, stopped abruptly and stumbled out of the car and vomitted on the street. 'Job done!' laughed Fear with glee. 


Fear then went to the office of the woman who feared to be alone. Though she was constantly surrounded by people, she feared that she would end up alone in life. And because of that fear, she made a lot of unhappy compromises in her life. Though she was not alone, she was lonely. 


Fear proceeded to the restaurant where an elderly lady was dining with her husband. Fear ruled her life. She was afraid of being at the wrong place at the wrong time, afraid of doing the wrong things, afraid of the unknown and even of the known. And up to the age that she was now at, the grip that Fear had on her did not lessen. Instead the talons of Fear were embedded in her soul. Sad to say, Fear dictated her life. 

Once Fear was done, Pain would then move in onto the people whom Fear had full control. Pain made sure that their hearts ached, their souls ached, their minds gripped with blinding pain and then wrecked their bodies with pain so bad that they became reliant on drugs. And once Pain did its job, Despair came in. Despair made sure that all that have been controlled by Fear and Pain felt lost and a crushing sense of hopelessness. And once these three were done, the rest of the cohorts would move in. Depression, Violence, Worthlessness, Suicide, Destruction and many, many more. 


Fear went to visit an old pal whom it tormented when she was a child. Fear had its talons in her heart, mind and soul for years. And for years, Fear ruled and reigned in her life. But cursed be the day where she was set free because of Sickness. Sickness should never have struck her. If she did not have Sickness, she would forever be in Fear's possession. Her heart, mind and soul would belong to Fear. 'It is all ITS fault. It should have never touched her!' cursed Fear. And as the seconds ticked by, Fear became sick. Because Boldness, Courage and Life was in her heart. And being in the presence of those Three suffocated Fear. Fear was fearful of those Three!! The peace that surrounded her was suffocating Fear. And the serenity in her heart was as loud as the screeching emergency brakes of a runaway train. Fear scampered away from the place and found that it could slowly breathe again. 


As Fear was recovering from its fears, it was suddenly attacked, thrown into the air and shoved into the bowels of Hades. 'Bloody hell! What the hell was that for?!!' screeched Fear. 'You were supposed to instill FEAR into her! Not run away like a wuss!!!!!' bellowed a cold and menacingly evil voice. Voices snickered all around. The air was oppressive and crippling. It reeked with the smell of rotting corpses. The surroundings were filled with the screams of the damned. The coldness that permeated the air could freeze all the boiling lava in the universe. And it was this coldness that sought to take as many lives as possible even before life could take form. And this coldness was displeased with Fear. Dragging Fear up by its neck, the Voice hissed and said, 'Do your thing by the end of this week, or I will deal with you myself.' Fear cackled and retorted, 'You can't even touch her and you expect ME to do your dirty job?!'  The Voice screamed and flung Fear into the farthest corner of Hades. It then roared, 'It is not finished!!!!!!!!' All the other creatures shrunk in fear from the outburst. When the Voice was done, it turned around and there it was in its coldest and menacing splendour... Death. 


'O death, I will be thy plagues;


O grave, I will be thy destruction.'


 - Hosea 13:14

The Finish Line

I had a vision the other night

That I was running in a race with all my might

And I had to keep on going with only one thing on my mind

That was to make it to the finish line

The crowd was cheering us on

Their roar was deafening

Our spirits were greatly motivated

And we kept on running

The heavens suddenly grew dark and foreboding

They thundered and bellowed

A horrible threatening sounding

And most of the runners were suddenly mellowed

I looked to the left

I looked to the right

Gone were the runners

They did not even put up a fight

And then you appeared to me in a great, blinding light

And tried to instill in me, a terrible, great fear

But I put up a courageous fight

And said never in a million years

The heavens then opened up

And poured down so much rain

That it could fill up a lagoon

And the torrents almost swept me into the drain

And then I realized that I was all alone

And I was oh so cold to the bone

And I started to feel the strain

As I was being lambasted by the pounding rain

I struggled to breathe

And tried to stop my chattering teeth

I couldn’t even muster a cackle

It was as if I was weighed down by a thousand shackles

It suddenly dawned upon me

That I was running on fifth gear

It was as easy as do-re-mi

All I needed was to change to first gear

The rain came down even harder

But I wasn’t struggling anymore

I was renewed with a sudden burst of ardour

And I let out a mighty loud roar

There was a sudden change in the scene

The surrounding was all of a sudden very serene

I was now swimming in the great big sea

On my way to fulfill my destiny

I swam faster with renewed vigor

As I approached nearer, the island grew bigger

The young, eternal, wise sage sat on the rock

Waiting for me, never did he mock

When I finally did reach my finish line

He greeted me with a smile so divine

He told me to take a seat

And in anticipation, my heart skipped a beat

When he finally did open his mouth to speak

No words came out, no not even one

What came out made my knees so weak

And my emotions and mind became extremely undone

His vocal chords produced sounds that were unheard of

Harmonies that were so ancient,  way even before the Beginnings

Even time stood still to listen and so did the Heavens above

And my mind just couldn’t stop spinning

The past, present and future became one

What he did could never be outdone

The air, the land and sea came together

And they fused together as one resounding wonder

Time began moving forward again

When he was done with his mighty act

All creatures were in reverence and awe

For never will we see this again

He got up and walked away

Not before saying, ‘You would not have seen had you not run.’

  

35 months ago was
 The Day I Met Death

The Ball That Was Unluckily Lucky

“STRIKE!!!!” And the crowd screamed themselves hoarse and in wild abandon. People slapped the back of the bowler congratulating him and told him that he played really well. The congratulations just kept on coming. Finally, he was able to sit and take it all in. He had WON! He picked up his lucky ball, kissed it, gave it a little polish and kept it in the bag. And the strikes never stopped striking.

7 years later

“That was the 5^th game that you had lost in a row!” his manager roared. “What the hell is happening to you? You have never played this bad in your entire life!” He just sat there dejected, with his head in his hands. His manager resigned on the spot and stormed out of the room in rage. He picked up his lucky ball and said, ‘You are not so lucky after all.’ And he threw the lucky ball into the mirror and shattered the glass into a million pieces.

-----------------------------------

Lucky? I don’t think there is such a thing as luck to winning a game. Bowling can be akin to life. One needs dedication, patience and perseverance. You cannot expect to strike and not end in the gutter without practicing. You need to put your heart into it. The bowler and the game have to be one. You can’t live your life without investing in it. There will be bad games. And you will have bad days. There will be strikes. And there will be rolling-in-the-gutter times. There will be spares. There will be accidental fouls (or on purpose). And you will have failures. And sometimes failure after failure after failure. The one thing is to never give up because your break will come. It may come in 5 years, or even 10. Some may come in 2 years. Some 20. There are NO SHORT CUTS to winning the game or in life. And the constant changing of lanes are never easy. It is a constant challenge. You just have to learn to adjust and adapt.

How would I know so much, you ask? I was that lucky ball. After he threw me into the mirror and left me lying in that dark corner, injured, he left. He had abandoned me. I knew it wasn’t the ‘lucky’ ball’s fault. I felt it in his fingers for years. It started with a slight twitch. And then the tremors. The struggle to keep his grip and the struggle to keep me steady as he bowled me onto the freshly oiled lane. The sudden jerking instead of the smooth delivering hook that he always had. Parkinson’s. It came upon him like a thief in the night. But he lived in denial.

The cleaner who came in to clean the place saw me, picked me up and told me that it wasn’t my fault. He told me stories of how he used to bowl when he was young, but he never had the courage to go pro. People told him he had that Midas touch. But fear won over. The fear of failure. The fear of rejection. The fear of not knowing what would come next if he stepped out of his comfort zone. And he regretted that decision for life. Now in his spare time, he coaches young kids who want to learn how to bowl but who could not afford to do so. And me? I guess I am just ‘lucky’ because I get to be part of the lives of the young, talented and eager-to-learn kids as they learn how to bowl. I get to feel them grow in their grip, in their hand position, in their delivering hook and in their confidence. And to me, that is as good as a ‘strike’!

The Journey Thus Far

I wrote this while I was going through a very, very tough period during the month of August. I would like to share this with you here.

29 months. That’s roughly 870 days. A total of 20,880 hours. Which is equivalent to 1, 252, 800 minutes or 75, 168, 000 seconds. Time which is enough to have 3 babies and yet have an extra 2 months. In 29 months, a baby would have learned to eat, smile, turn-over, crawl, walk, run, talk, hum, sing and do a multitude of tasks. For me, 29 months has been a journey of waking up everyday wondering whether it would be my last, whether some chemical would trigger another episode from hell, whether my body would overload and go into overdrive or silence in my head, bowels and senses. 29 months of taking one day at a time. 29 months of pushing my body daily to overcome this condition. 29 months of roller coaster rides. 29 months of wondering why I was spared from death to face so many challenges everyday.

These 29 months can be likened to being enrolled in the school of hard knocks. It’s like standing, getting slammed by a bullet train, getting up again and standing up and trying to be strong again. And then the cycle repeats itself.  It’s like the scene from Matrix where Neo fought with Agent Smith in the underground train station. One can never know when or the direction of the next blow or kick is coming from or what ‘form’ or ‘person’ Agent Smith will take. Or when the attacks are going to cease or escalate. It’s a continuous fight everyday. I just can’t wait for the day where I am strong enough that when the attacks come, all I have to do is to just raise my palm and the bullets will stop in mid-air and drop to the ground. And all the attacks of Agent Smith will be futile and I can overcome and destroy ‘my Agent Smith’.

In these 29 months, I have learned how to survive in a chemical world when it was chemicals that almost killed me. I have fought and lost a lot of battles. I have gone through a lot pain, frustrations, anger, denial, defeat and depression. I have asked myself countless times, ‘Am I a failure?’  ‘What kind of life am I living?’ ‘What’s the point of cheating death and living in pain?’ And then one day it struck me. Who said that people like me who struggle with life are failures?  And then I thought of the people who fight for their lives daily like me but who are worse off than me. People with incurable diseases. The girl who is allergic to water. Or the boy who is allergic to air and who has to live in a bubble for the rest of his life. And the girl who goes into anaphylactic shock when exposed to cold or cool temperature. These are people who live victoriously even in their imperfect circumstances. These are the people who persevere to be a shining light in this world even though their lives are engulfed in darkness many times.

People in general tend to applaud for the people who overcome their hurdles triumphantly. We tend to not give credit to those who are still in the midst of fighting their battles. I beg to differ. I think people who are in the midst of fighting their battles, who persevere even when they are down trodden, who refuse to let the darkness blind them are to be applauded as winners. They are the champions my friends. Why? It’s because they refuse to back down from the fight. They refuse to wallow in self-pity. They go on day to day ‘living’ their lives. And by living, it’s not living by waking up, going through the motions of the daily routines and then going to bed and repeating the whole cycle the next day and the day after that. They live their lives everyday not knowing whether there will be a tomorrow. And they make an impact with their lives EVERYDAY. They shine like a beacon. They affect others to live their lives to the fullest. They encourage, motivate and help others to ‘LIVE’ when they themselves struggle with the simplest thing in life.

Michael J. Fox is one of the winners whom I applaud. He was such a talented and brilliant actor. And to be struck with Parkinson’s disease at such a young age and at the peak of his career must have been a terrible blow for him. But yet today, he thanks Parkinson’s for saving his life, as it was a turn-around-point for him. His life was spiraling down with his drinking addiction. And when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s he drank even harder and fell into depression and it affected his marriage and his relationship with his eldest son. He said that it was during a lucid moment that he realized that his life was in his own hands and thus turned himself around. He said, ‘‘In fact, Parkinson’s has made me a ­better person. A better husband, father and overall human being. Life delivered me a catastrophe, but I found a richness of soul. I owe it to Parkinson’s, no doubt about that.”[1] And today he continuously contributes to the research of Parkinson’s and continues to encourage fellow patients even though his disease has progressed. And to me, this man is a winner.

Another person whom I applaud is Christopher Reeve. Yes, the original Superman who wore his undies on the outside. Paralyzed after a riding accident, the man who once ‘flew’ high up in the sky became a quadriplegic. The accident had separated his head from his spine. He fell into depression, contemplated with suicide, and went through operations to re-attach his spine to his head, and painful rehabilitation. Though he could not walk ever again, he was a winner because he spent his remaining years of his life helping and encouraging patients who were in the same situation as him. Though he never walked again, he regained back some motor function, and was able to sense hot and cold temperatures on his body. And that was impossible for someone in his situation. He also battled allergies and asthma since childhood. And he reacted severely to the many medications that he had to take after the accident. In Kessler, he tried a drug named Sygen, which was theorized to help reduce damage to the spinal cord. The drug caused him to go into anaphylactic shock and his heart stopped. He believed he had an out-of-body experience and remembered saying, "I'm sorry, but I have to go now", during the event. In his autobiography, he wrote, "and then I left my body. I was up on the ceiling...I looked down and saw my body stretched out on the bed, not moving, while everybody—there were 15 or 20 people, the doctors, the EMTs, the nurses—was working on me. The noise and commotion grew quieter as though someone were gradually turning down the volume." After receiving a large dose of epinephrine, he woke up and was able to stabilize later that night.[2] Though he died at the age of 52 and did not walk again, he was a winner because of the decision to live life at its fullest even in his despairing and depressing condition.

For me, though I’ve been hit, smacked, smashed, knocked down continuously in this month of August, I hope that I will rise above my challenges and setbacks and be a winner even in my losses.

We Are The Champions – Queen

I've paid my dues

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face

But I've come through

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting ‘till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the world

I've taken my bows

And my curtain calls

You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it

I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses

No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race

And I ain't gonna lose

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the world

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[1] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1326832/Michael-J-Fox-Parkinsons-saved-life-better-man.html#ixzz1UpIwuSnZ

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Reeve