Understanding People with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis for Dummies! (Part Two)

1. You mean you cannot travel overseas? Don't you just wish you could travel?

2. So where are you going for this round of school holidays?
And this was after I said that I can't and don't travel!

3. Don't you feel bored with living the life you have?
I feel bored because I have to have conversations with dummies! Dear God, please send people with brains over! Thank you very much. AMEN!

4. Don't you miss working and having a NORMAL life?
I AM working at home, you idiot. I am a stay-at-home mother with no live-in maid who has to cook and wash and drive and look after my family. If that is not working, gosh, I don't what that is inside your skull. And my life is very NORMAL, thank you very much! I think you are not normal because your mouth works faster than your brain!

5. This is an excerpt of a conversation that I had:
Stranger: You mean you only have one child? When are you going to have another one since your son is seven already?
Me: No, I can't. I have a medical condition, which my gynecologist said, no, I should not.
Stranger: WHAT?! You mean you can't have another child? You'd better give your husband another child before he finds another woman to give him one!
Me: If he does, I'll feed him to the dogs! Anyway, hubby is cool with one child.
Stranger: Blah, blah, blah. blah.......
Me: Walks away....

6. This is another excerpt of another conversation:
Friend: You should trust and believe in God for another child. Just like Abraham and Sarah. They had Isaac when they were really old!
Me: ...........
(By the way, if YOU are reading this, the people in the Old Testament tend to live to be hundreds of years old. Child bearing age must have stretched into the hundreds too. Do people live to be hundreds of years old today???)

7. Don't you just wish you did not have this?
Oh yes, just like how I wish people had more common sense and used their brains to think before they opened their mouth. Now let me go find my little-young-man so that I can have some intelligent conversation.

8. What sin have you committed? Have you repented of all your sins? Why don't you just hurry up and believe in God's healing and get healed quickly?
Dear God, I repent for talking to this idiot. And also please hurry up and shut all the idiots up. Amen.

9. God, if I were you, I wish I were dead.
Well, if I were you, I too would wish I was dead. But then I am not you, so NO!

10. Your life is so pitiful.
Open that mouth of yours one more time and I will make sure your mouth will LOOK pitiful!

People, please think before you open your mouth to talk to people like us. Of course we know that the life that we have is restrictive and not normal, as you put it. But then again, who defines what normal is? We are living to the best that we can. If you have nothing nice to say, just stay mum and no one will say that you are dumb. Silence is golden.

Just imagine yourself, with a face full of acne and then people come up to you and say, 'OMG! You have ACNE! Don't you wish you had smooth, baby skin? Don't you wish you did not have this? What have you done to be struck with such a pitiful ailment?! You mean you cannot use any products on your skin? If I were you I wish I were dead! Have you asked God for healing?! Don't you wish you had a normal face?'

You get my drift. I rest my case.

Perfect?!! NOT!!!!

I really do not understand why people would perceive my life as perfect. When I say that I am stressed, they will ask, 'Why are you stressed? What is there to be stressed about?! Your life is PERFECT!' Perfect my ass. Even THAT is not perfect. Try living my life for even one hour and we shall see whether you would still deem it to be 'perfect'.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have to fight Idiopathic Anaphylaxis every single day? And now I don't even know what the trigger is! I have been eating fish for 35 months and then WHAM!!! out of the blue, I get a near-anaphylaxis attack after consuming fish which I have been doing so every week. It was supposed to be salicylates. Then it became chemicals. And then now FISH??!! WTH??!!

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have a son at the age of seven who still asks me every single day about death though it has been 35 months? His seven-year-old mind has been seared with death ever since my near-death experience. And he is afraid of loosing his mother and everyone else who is dear to him.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I am constantly running away from people who reek with perfume, places that reek with fragrances/chemicals and even my own house when the neighbour's cooking or detergent wafts over??

How can my life be 'perfect' when I can count the types of food which I am able to consume with 10 fingers and still have some left-over fingers?

How can my life be 'perfect' when I have a hormone problem which plagues me every month and the gynecologist said that the only way to rectify this is to have synthetic hormone replacement? And did I forget to mention that I have to be in the hospital for one week and be placed on high alert?! And there is a possibility of me reacting after that one week.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I cannot even plan my life for 2 bloody days ahead??!! Make that one day.

How can my life be 'perfect' when I do not have 'perfect health'?

How can my life be 'perfect' when I can't even blow my top (as my immunologist said that the stress would lower my immune system and thus cause me to be susceptible to even more anaphylactic attacks)! You mean I can't scream and swear??!! Never mind I will cuss and swear with my pen. Ooops! I mean with my keyboard.

Shall I go on? Or do you still deem my life to be 'PURR-FECT'??!! Just because you can't deal with your own insecurities and setbacks, it does not give you the right to judge and to tell me in dripping sarcasm that my life is 'perfect'.

Now let me tell you why my life is 'perfect' since you insist on it being so.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to fight for it every single day. Or on some days every second.

My life is 'perfect' because I am grateful for what I still have.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to be bullied in life and choose to stand on my ground whether people like it or not.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to compromise my principles.

My life is 'perfect' because I have my family and good friends.

My life is 'perfect' because I believe in equality and in being fair. I do not believe in being shortchanged in life.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to be happy.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to wallow in depression.

My life is 'perfect' because I refuse to be a failure.

My life is 'perfect' because I choose to embrace the storms in life with courage.

My life is 'perfect' because I have inner-peace. And THAT cannot be bought.

And my life is 'perfect' because I am imperfect.

So the next time you decide to have snide remarks about my life being 'perfect', please run it through your gray matter (if you have any) before you open your mouth and know that there is no such thing as a 'perfect' life on planet Earth.

Understanding People with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis for Dummies

1. Do Not Stare!

• Did your mother never teach you that it is rude to stare? Wearing a mask does not necessarily mean that I am sick. I am merely protecting myself from the combination of the chemicals that is wafting around in the air.
• I am protecting myself from YOUR germs and viruses.
• Me eating from the Thermos does not mean that I am a cheapskate who can't afford to eat from the restaurant (my family ordered and is feasting away at the food by the way). Don't give us that disgusted look. Don't judge before you know the story. Or need I stamp the word, 'ALLERGY' on my forehead?

2. Do Not Ask Stupid Questions

• "Could it be it's all in your mind?" Who in their right mind would 'pretend' to suffer from 'idiopathic anaphylaxis' and be home-bound, drugged up and not live a life of a normal person?!
• "Maybe you need to be MORE positive?" If I'm not positive, I would not have lasted 30 months, mind you.
• "Are you sure you are not imagining all this?" Let me tell you what IMAGINATION is. Imagination is skinning you alive and hanging you on a 10 foot pole and leaving you out there for the vultures to feast on you. Now THAT'S imagination!
• "Maybe you are not praying enough?" "Maybe you need to have MORE faith?" "Have you been reading enough of the Word of GOD?" Just because I don't punctuate my every sentence with 'Hallelujah!' or 'Praise the Lord' does not mean I do not have faith or I don't believe. I believe in God. I don't believe in the commercialization of God. Period.

3. It Is Not About You

• Don't take it personally if I move back, cover my nose or put on a mask because of your over-powering perfume. For me, it's like walking into the gas chamber. I can even taste your perfume and it translates into a chemical taste which burns my mouth, tongue, lips and throat.

4. Don't Say Stupid Things

• Don't tell me, 'You certainly don't look sick! Are you sure you're that sick?' Seriously, who would in their right mind be out if they are LOOKING sick?! Of course I don't. It's my good day. Do you think I would be out if I looked sick???? I would be in bed, drugged up when I am SICK. Certainly not out shopping in a mall!
• Don't tell me that my life is so pitiful, so sad, so terrible and so horrible that I can't go anywhere, eat like a normal person or live like a normal person. Of course I know that! It's like telling a cancer patient on chemotherapy 'You're going bald.' Duh!!!

5. Learn to empathize.

The following four points are for doctors, nurses and people in the medical line.

6. As a doctor, don't tell me that you don't know what is wrong with me, is afraid to dispense medicine and yet keep me in the hospital for 'observation'. Pass me to another doctor who understands and can treat me. Don't sit in front of me and stare into space for eternity and only respond when I interrupt your 'deep thinking' by telling me 'I don't know what to do with you.'

7. When a patient arrives at the ER telling you that he/she is having an allergy attack, don't tell them to have a sit first or register your wife/daughter/mother/god-mother/great grandmother first and then take your own sweet time discussing with the other nurses about the previous patient who almost died. Surprise! Surprise! Now isn't it surprising that your previous patient almost died with your immaculate service?

8. Do not ask me whether my Medic Alert bracelet is an amulet and whether 'Medic Alert' is in Thai language. Shall I  take the Hydrocortisone 250mg and Puriton and jab myself while you go figure out what language 'MEDIC ALERT' is in?

9. Don't snicker or snigger in my face when I tell you that I am allergic to chemicals. Your ignorance and arrogance = death for your patients.

10. Since this is a lesson for dummies, let me offer you some tips on how to deal and interact with people like me.

If you do not know what to say to me:

• Ask me how I am. I will tell you. In a short and sweet manner.

• Tell me that I look good/healthy and NOT 'You certainly don't look sick, you know,' dripping with sarcasm.

• Tell me that I have your prayers and support. I will say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

• Tell me to continue fighting and continue being positive. I will say thank you.

• Don't bore the living daylights out of me by whining to me about your sad, depressing and pathetic life and that you wished that you were dead because you broke a fingernail or because you've been promoted from a size two dress to a size three or because your boobs have begun to sag.

• Do not tell me that I should have MORE faith and try to have another child. This truly pisses me off. Are you going to take over my position as mother and raise my child up if I die as a result of a leap of foolishness?

I welcome genuine and sincere questions from people who want to know more. I despise people who ask questions to shoot me down or dismiss my condition like it's an 'imagined' condition or who pretend to listen and then ask me the same questions over AND over again. 

To all fellow people like me, feel free to add to what I may have missed out. Let's keep on fighting and stay strong my fellow friends!