Thursday, 25 April 2013

One Kid Too Many!

'When are you going to have another kid? He's EIGHT already!'

Like as if I do not know that my son is eight already.

'He'll grow up to be selfish and conceited. If he had a sibling he'll learn how to SHARE!'

You want me to give you examples of people who have a multitude of siblings but yet grow up to be conceited pigs? They have siblings as vast as the sand but their motto is still I, ME and MINE!

'He'll be so lonely. At least with a sibling he won't feel so lonely.'

Seriously? I've seen how siblings hate each other to the point that they cut all ties! And if they could cut each others' throats, they would! Alone does not mean LONELY! You can be surrounded by a multitude of people and YET still feel VERY lonely and alone.

'Your son is so handsome! You should have a daughter so that she can be the next Miss Universe!'

Are you for real??!! You mean I have a button somewhere about my body that I can press to choose 'BEAUTIFUL' or 'UGLY'??!! REALLY???

And don't get me started on people who do not LISTEN when I tell them that I have a medical condition that puts me at very high risk if I get pregnant again.

'You must have faith! If Abraham and Sarah could have Isaac at the age of 100, what more you!'

Aiyah, for God's sake, please shut up.

Which brings me to my next point.

I have THREE kids at home. Not the bleating type of kids. REAL kids. Human kids. Three male kids.

Don't believe me? Let me show you the conversations that I have with my 'three kids' everyday.

For easy reading, I shall name them Do-Re-Mi.

----------------------------------------------------

Do

Do is the oldest of this pack of three. He is supposed to be the leader. The one that I can rely on. *Guffaws*

Day 1 Morning:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering.

Do: Ok.

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 1 Evening:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering.

Do: Ok.

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 2 Morning:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering. 

Do: Ok. 

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 2 Evening:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering.

Do: Ok.

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 3 Morning:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering. 

Do: Ok. 

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 3 Evening:

Me: Remember to wipe the door once you're done showering.

Do: Ok.

Me: (5 minutes later) Did you wipe the door like I asked you to?

Do: OMG! I forgot!

Day 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 20, 58, 101.... c'est la même chose 

-------------------------------------

Re

Re loves to mumble. Anything that is spoken to him is replied with mumbling. Mumble here, mumble there, mumble everywhere. Re is also very absent minded.

This happened today.

Re: (On his way out to work) *mumbles... mumbles....mumbles* Where did I put my car-keys?

Me: Huh? What do you mean? Aren't they at their usual place?

Re: *mumbles... mumbles...* They are not here!

Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU DROPPED YOUR KEYS??!! WHERE??

Re: I don't know. I came back with my food. I locked the car door..... 

Me: Are you sure you locked the door??!!

Re: I'm not sure. I think so. I can't remember. The door is locked. 

Me: Think hard. Where was the last time you saw your keys?

Re: I don't know. 

Me: WHAT??!!! 

And Re and I went for a frantic 'treasure hunting' all over the house, the lawn, the porch, the shoe case, the FRIDGE, the dustbins, to where his car keys could have dropped into. NO KEYS TO BE SEEN ANYWHERE!

Me: How can your car keys just disappear into thin air???

Re: I don't know.

Me: (In exasperation and panic mode) Are you high on something or what?!! (Even though I know he does not do drugs. He does not even drink or smoke!!)

Re: OF COURSE NOT!

Me: Then where are they???!!!

Re: *mumbles... mumbles...*

I went to all possible and IMPOSSIBLE places looking for them while Re decides to call the car dealer to change his car lock just in case someone did pick the keys from the roadside and knows which car it is! Lo and behold, I found the keys in between this pile of papers in a container behind the bananas! 

Me: AREN'T THESE YOUR KEYS?!!

Re: OMG!! Where did you find them?

Me: Here! (Pointing to the papers) Why would they be here? How can they be here? OMG! What is happening????

Re: I don't know. I don't remember! How could they be there??!!

Me: (OMG! Now I'm mumbling!)  *mumbles... mumbles....*

(I'm completely soaked in sweat from the panic, pumped up from the adrenaline (no usage of Epi-Pens at all!) and vigorous 'treasure hunt'.)

-------------------------------------------------

Mi

Scene 1

Me: Make sure you pack up your bag and toys before you go to bed.

Mi: Ok, mommie. 

(1/2 hour later, NOTHING is packed)

Me: (In screaming mode) WHY ISN'T ANYTHING PACKED UP??!!

Mi: Oh I forgot.

Scene 2

Me: When you're done with your drink, place the drinking bottle at the kitchen sink. Make sure you remember. 

Mi: Ok, mommie.

(1/2 hour later)

Me: (In screaming mode) WHY IS THE BOTTLE AT THE STAIRCASE??!!

Mi: Oh I forgot.

Scene 3

Me: (In school, on the way to the car) Did you bring back your jacket from school?

Mi: Yes, mommie.

Me: (At home) Where's your jacket? I want to wash it. It's not in the bag. 

Mi: Oh, I forgot to pack it mommie.

Mi: OMG!!!!! Then why did you say that it was in your bag when I asked you??!!

Mi: I forgot. 

Me: *mumbles....mumbles.....mumbles....*

----------------------------------------

Therefore, no one can say that I have only one kid. I have three. THREE MALES who are more than a handful. I tell my 'kids' that anaphylaxis won't be the thing that will kill me. THEY will kill me! HAHA! 

Oh yeah, there was something else which I wanted to tell you all. But I guess, I forgot

Let me think.... 

*mumbles... mumbles... mumbles.................*




7 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA! Do you actually say those things to the obnoxious people who butt their noses in your private business? I hope so. They might stop if you do it often enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have said some of those sentences to nosy people. Imagine that some of those who say those things to me are complete STRANGERS!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. If they are strangers, then give them all the wrath you can muster and get it all out! If anything they might learn not to stick their noses into another stranger's business. :)

      Delete
  2. Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! :D

    ReplyDelete