Robinson Crusoe's Friday

It was a long time ago that I had thought of life as a sailing ship in relatively smooth seas. I had believed with all my heart, soul and mind that God would deliver me from all my troubles, sickness and battles in life. That was what I was taught in church. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that the ship that I was on would be shipwrecked. Never would I have thought that I would be in that vast, deep, blue sea. And how I survived floating for months in that shark-infested waters. And then finally I was washed ashore to an island so remote that the companions for the remaining of my life would be the sand, sea and sun. Not my ideal way to spend the rest of my life. I prefer snow, snowmen and snow angels. The best part? I am unable to swim. Don't ask me how I survived. It's a miracle.

I fell into the depths of despair. I became devastated that the life I once had was now just a fragment in my mind. Neatly tucked away at the back of my mind. Or whatever that is left of it. For months and years my soul was one with depression. For months I contemplated with walking into the deep blue sea to end it all. I existed for the sake of existing. If you had seen me during the early days back then, you would see the anorexic condition of my soul and spirit. The eyes of my soul protruding out of my eye sockets. The gaunt look that was me. Emptiness crawling out of my heart. Silence continuously screaming in my head.

It was one of the days that as I was washing my face at the stream that I saw my reflection in the waters. I really SAW what I had become. Unrecognizable. I didn't know who was staring back at me. Those haunted, vacant eyes were dead. I was dead. In defying Death, I realized that I did not cheat Death after all. Death was alive in me.

And so for the next few days, I contemplated on how to live my life on this solitary island. I vowed to myself to learn to live life from scratch. I learned how to make my food from scratch. I learned how to plant my food. I learned how to live a life that is alive. My soul started healing. I got my spirit back. And I know that the perception of the God that I used to worship was wrong. Do I still believe in God? Yes, I do. But I can never view Him in the same manner again.

It was during the time before the arrival of the savages that I learned how to fight in combat. I knew in my heart that one day, this would come in handy. I made weapons for combat. And I practiced. And then, one fine, serene morning, they arrived. I snuck under a bush to observe what the savages were up to. They had about ten slaves with them. And they let them loose to run for their lives before being hunted down and slaughtered like animals. And once the savages succeeded, they howled with victory and ate their victims on the spot. Some of the slaves were to afraid to run. And they died without attempting to fight for their lives. Some did try to run, but they were no match for the savages. Two of the slaves managed to kill the savages. And then I saw one of the slaves running for her life and a strong sense of deja vu washed over me. I pursued her and her attacker. As the savage was about to attack her, I killed him with my spear. And he dropped dead on the spot. When she turned around, I had the greatest shock of my life. She was ME! I had finally found myself. It took the shipwreck, miraculously surviving in the shark-infested-water, being washed ashore on this remote island, going through severe depression, finally coming out of it and months of preparation and fighting savages for me to finally meet myself. When I looked and saw all the slain savages, they had transformed back into their original form. And they were depression, despair, pain, fear, discouragement, and death.

Life has a peculiar way in bringing you back to the exact point where you had gotten lost. And most of the time, how you find your way back to the right path is really ambiguous. There is no wrong or right. There is no 'You should' or 'You ought to'. It is every man for himself.

For now, my time is still on this island. I still have much to learn. As Robinson Crusoe and Friday were rescued from that island, I too will leave this island one day. And I will cherish this island and the journeys and lessons that it has taught me. Because of this journey, I have found myself, my life and the meaning of life that no church could have taught me.

When the time has come for you to meet YOUR Friday, set him free. Set him free from the savages. For in doing so, you will set yourself free. Kill the savages of depression, despair and death and you will finally have met yourself.




34 months ago was 
The Day I Met Death


2012 is
A Year of Reinvention