The Finish Line

I had a vision the other night

That I was running in a race with all my might

And I had to keep on going with only one thing on my mind

That was to make it to the finish line

The crowd was cheering us on

Their roar was deafening

Our spirits were greatly motivated

And we kept on running

The heavens suddenly grew dark and foreboding

They thundered and bellowed

A horrible threatening sounding

And most of the runners were suddenly mellowed

I looked to the left

I looked to the right

Gone were the runners

They did not even put up a fight

And then you appeared to me in a great, blinding light

And tried to instill in me, a terrible, great fear

But I put up a courageous fight

And said never in a million years

The heavens then opened up

And poured down so much rain

That it could fill up a lagoon

And the torrents almost swept me into the drain

And then I realized that I was all alone

And I was oh so cold to the bone

And I started to feel the strain

As I was being lambasted by the pounding rain

I struggled to breathe

And tried to stop my chattering teeth

I couldn’t even muster a cackle

It was as if I was weighed down by a thousand shackles

It suddenly dawned upon me

That I was running on fifth gear

It was as easy as do-re-mi

All I needed was to change to first gear

The rain came down even harder

But I wasn’t struggling anymore

I was renewed with a sudden burst of ardour

And I let out a mighty loud roar

There was a sudden change in the scene

The surrounding was all of a sudden very serene

I was now swimming in the great big sea

On my way to fulfill my destiny

I swam faster with renewed vigor

As I approached nearer, the island grew bigger

The young, eternal, wise sage sat on the rock

Waiting for me, never did he mock

When I finally did reach my finish line

He greeted me with a smile so divine

He told me to take a seat

And in anticipation, my heart skipped a beat

When he finally did open his mouth to speak

No words came out, no not even one

What came out made my knees so weak

And my emotions and mind became extremely undone

His vocal chords produced sounds that were unheard of

Harmonies that were so ancient,  way even before the Beginnings

Even time stood still to listen and so did the Heavens above

And my mind just couldn’t stop spinning

The past, present and future became one

What he did could never be outdone

The air, the land and sea came together

And they fused together as one resounding wonder

Time began moving forward again

When he was done with his mighty act

All creatures were in reverence and awe

For never will we see this again

He got up and walked away

Not before saying, ‘You would not have seen had you not run.’

  

35 months ago was
 The Day I Met Death

Salicylate-Free Pancakes

Bread, crackers and oat crunchies for breakfast everyday for months is no longer appealing to my stomach. Of late, my appetite has not been itself. I cannot finish my meals. My appetite is waning. And I am starting to feel sick of eating salicylate-free food everyday. I am smelling curry, amazing sinful food (but forbidden) in a fragrance-and-smell-free room! I want to eat EVERYTHING!

I made pancakes today. And I use my home-made soya+oat milk instead of the usual fresh cow's milk that comes in a box. I used to be able to drink tiny amounts of the chilled fresh cow's milk. Now I can't anymore. It burns my mouth and triggers a reaction. Well, at least I have soya milk to drink! :)

Ingredients:

1. 1 cup of all-purpose flour
2. 1 cup of high-protein bread flour
3. 2 large eggs
4. 3/4 cup of soya + oat milk
5. 1 teaspoon of brown sugar
6. A pinch of sea salt
7. 1 cup of filtered water
8. 30g of salted butter
9. Sunflower oil
(10. 2 large bananas - if you want to make banana pancakes)

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1. Mix both the flours, eggs, brown sugar, salt and filtered water into a large bowl.

2. Whisk all of them with an electrical whisk. (The mixture will be very much smoother)

3. In a frying pan or flat wok, melt the 30g butter.

4. Once the butter is melted, scoop it up and mix it into the batter.

5. Fry the pancakes. *

6. Serve them while they are hot. You can serve with butter or any toppings that you are able to take.

*I left about 3 large scoops of batter. I then mashed the 2 large bananas and mixed it with the remaining  batter. I then fried the banana pancakes with sunflower oil. It tasted like 'goring pisang'!!! It was heavenly!

The really smooth batter (the trick is to use an electric whisk)

Pancake batter with mashed bananas

Soya + oat milk pancakes

Banana + soya + oatmilk pancakes 

Here is the link to the home-made soya + oat milk recipe:
Recipe for soya+oat milk

I also made chicken nuggets using minced chicken. I ate it with sushi rice and a fried egg.

Lunch!

It is back to school tomorrow after a one week of school break. Bed time will be early for me tonight as it's back to rising in the morning before the sun. Have a great week everyone. I wish you health.

The Epi-Pen

I have used the Epi-Pen twice in these 34 months and it saved my life. Here's a video on how to use the Epi-Pen.

It is vital and crucial for people with anaphylaxis to be carrying these with them. I carry two with me at all times. Even when I am in the house. AT ALL TIMES!

Be safe, be prepared and do not hesitate to use it when you're having a reaction. It will buy you time to get help. Trust me, it saved me.

For more information on the Epi-Pen, you can visit this web-site:
Epi-Pen

Container Garden - An Update

The garden is back on track again. I started sowing the seeds 3 weeks back and things are looking good at the moment.

The okras are growing well

Siu Pak Choy!

Even more okras!

Red Spinach!

Kangkung! 

Even more Siu Pak Choys!

Portulacas!

I pruned the Allamandas and they are growing better than ever. Can't wait for the beautiful yellow flowers!!

Light pink Periwinkle

Lovely Periwinkles!!!!

The secret to having fat vegetables and flowers (not to mention, WEEDS too, if you do not weed) is molasses. Buy the un-sulphured molasses from the organic shop. Use about 1 tablespoon to a gallon of water. You can even spray it on the vegetable leaves, fruits and flowers and you will see them blooming and prospering in size!

I tried this product a few months back and I feel that the result is almost the same as using plain old molasses which definitely costs much cheaper. This bottle cost me about RM30! And a bottle of 500g un-sulphured molasses is about RM6. The RM6 molasses can be used for a long time! I use it for my garden once a week.

Though this bottle above has seaweed, plain old molasses works just as well. I find that when I water either this or the plain molasses, the seeds sprout better and the seedlings grow faster. And they are stronger too! Give it a try.

The garden has been attracting a lot of bugs of late. And a lot of them are beautiful!

The beautiful dragon fly!

A very shiny bug on the pandan leaf

A ladybug on an unopened periwinkle flower

A butterfly drinking nectar from a periwinkle flower

I have no idea what this is.

Joel and I kept an Orange Dog caterpillar which metamorphosis into this beautiful Swallowtail butterfly!

We released it during the evening.

Rough Days

It started on Monday night. I felt dizzy and very light-headed and knew that my blood pressure was low. Sure enough, the reading was 93/68. I went to bed early and thought it was caused by the exhaustion of the three weeks of driving and being on my feet constantly at Joel's school. And then I had dreams about pain. Non-stop dreams about pain. And then I woke up at 2.30am and the pain that was in my head was excruciating. I wished that the pain could be exorcised out! I was having a severe reaction! I immediately got up and swallowed a tablet of Xyzal and Zrtytec each to stop it from escalating into an anaphylaxis attack. I woke my hubby up and he had to massage my head to numb the pain. The mouth started to burn and the usual reactions started manifesting. I even had my Epi-Pen on standby.

The only thing that I could think of that caused this reaction was the fish I had for dinner. I have noticed that sometimes fish can cause a near-anaphylaxis attack for me. Many months back I ate salmon and had an attack within 1 hour! But this does not happen all the time. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it does not. Maybe it is the histamine that is in the fish that is causing the reactions. And with the body being taxed out and exhausted, my immune system was more susceptible to a reaction.

I was in bed the whole of yesterday. I was very drugged and drowsy from the anti-histamines. And the stomach wasn't feeling too well. It always ends up with loose bowels and stomach upset and discomfort.

I was in better shape this morning. But then the pain in my head returned with vengeance before noon and the stomach was extremely queasy and in great discomfort. I could't finish my lunch nor dinner today. And the insides of my ears felt swollen. And the pressure build-up in both ears was so uncomfortable. I had actually planned to do lots of baking today. And the best part was the butter was already melting in room temperature and the dough was already mixed with yeast. I swallowed 2 Xyzals after my so-called 'lunch' and did the baking.

So these were what I baked today. And thank God they turned out fine and yummy though I wasn't feeling fine.

Marble, butter sponge cake

I used cocoa powder for the marble effect.

Twisty high protein bread

Who can resist home-made crackers? :)

I am really grateful that I have my writing to keep me sane when bad days strike. Days when I can't go out to the garden or when I have no songs to sing. I will be going to the hospital tomorrow to get a refill of my medication and also to get my ears checked out. Goodnight!

Life = Driving in KV (Part 2 - The Top 10 Drivers That You Meet On The Road)

The reason I titled it 'The Drivers That You Meet On The Road' is because there are drivers that you WILL meet on the curb, on the sidewalk, on the lawn, on car roofs and even in buildings. It is truly 'amazing' how the drivers of today drive their vehicles. One would have thought that as civilization advance, people would be more 'intelligent'. Possess more common sense. Sadly, that's not the case. In fact, common sense is becoming harder to find these days.

So here are the top 10 drivers that you meet on the road.

1. The Road Bully
This person is basically a coward. This driver needs to bully in order to feel powerful and strong. He thinks he is omnipotent. Sad to say, these type of drivers are pathetic. I am sure you have seen how the drivers of big vehicles bully the smaller cars on purpose. No matter which lane the smaller car turns to, the big bully overtakes and follows closely. Beware road bully, inside that small car could be a 'chili padi' driver! If you get burned by one, don't cry for your mamma.

2. The Tailgaters
These type of drivers get their kicks from sniffing other people's asses. They love to follow other cars' asses very, very, very closely and will do so until they smash into one. And they do so at high speed too. These type of drivers are fools, endangering not only their lives but the lives of others too.

3. The Gawkers
These are the drivers who gawk at every single accident (to obtain the number plate of the crashed car in order to buy their 'lucky number' at the 4D shop). Here gawk, there gawk, everywhere gawk-gawk! And a lot of times, these gawkers are the ones who hold up traffic, causing massive traffic jams and also sadly, accidents.

4. The Illiterates
All of us who drive must have gone through some sort of compulsory class and training and exams right? Does this not mean that every driver has been taught the functions of the car gadgets and road signs? But nooooOOOOO!!! Drivers cannot understand the no u-turn sign, no-entry sign, no parking sign and cannot seem to fathom that they have to signal when they want to cut lanes, turn or stop.

5. Sir Honks-A-Lot
Honk! Honk! HONK!!!!!! It is like the honking is music to their ears. I honk you! You honk me! We all honk-honk each other. The more honks the merrier! We all honk together-gether!!

6. Miss-Brakes-A-Lot
Need I say more?

7. The Road Hoggers
These are the drivers that drive at snail-pace on the express lane. Exactly my point. They choose to drive the slowest they can at the fastest lane on the roads. Maybe they get the thrills that they are irritating every driver on the third lane or somewhere in their mind, the fastest lane is supposed to be the slowest. Or they can't tell the difference between fast and slow.

8. The Sleeping Beauties
It is truly amazing how these type of drivers can drive with their eyes closed! Amazing. They must be some kind of mutant that have eye-lids which are somehow transparent. I mean, I can't drive with my eyes closed you know.

9. The Multi-tasker
I think these drivers are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! Can you imagine applying on mascara and eye shadow while driving on our 'evenly tarred road'? And how some drivers can be watching the DVD in the car while driving? Or SMS-ing while navigating through heavy traffic, or even while flying at break-neck speed? Wow! These people must have been born with an extra set of brains and eyes and hands too.

10. The F1 Drivers
These are the Michael Schumacher and Kimi Raikkonen wannabes and the road is theirs to weave in and out at their whim and fancy. For these wannabes, there are no rules, no regulations nor pit stops.

I am sure that almost all of us have met the 10 drivers stated above somewhere along in our driving lives. And I am sure that all of us have met people like these in our lives. The boss who bullies his people into submission. Or the doctor who bullies his patients into believing that there is no such thing as being 'allergic to chemicals'. The people who hold you up in life, irritate you with incessant 'honkings' as in endless whininess and complaining about how their life suck and drain out every single positive ion and atom out of you. The people who couldn't give a damn that their behavior or doings would affect your life and cause much trouble for you. And especially jerks who purposely slow you down so that they can cause you misery, stress and pain. And then gloat about it. Well, that will be another post for me to write on.

Coming soon: Life = Driving in KV (Part 3 - The Top 10 Stupidest Statements That Spew Out Of The Mouths of Drivers)



Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)

The Glorious Heavens (Part 8)

'A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed... It feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.' - Richard Bach

'There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.' - G.K. Chesterton

The last evening of 2011

A jet in the far distance

'Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.' - Rabindranath Tagore

Joel = Breakthrough By Leaps & Bounds

The Joel during the 1st week of school was terribly lost and fearful. But even with his fear he was brave.

The Joel during the 2nd week of school was still lost and fearful. And he broke down somewhere during the middle of the week and had a panic attack which caused him nausea and difficulty in breathing.  The counsellors were called in and they had to remove him from the class and took him to the 'play room' where he could relax and calm down and get over his fears. These group of people are certified professionals. They connected with Joel and touched base with him a few times a day. In this way, he has people whom he can turn to while he is in school when I am not around.

The Joel during the 3rd week of school was ASTOUNDING! He overcame his fears. He became so at home at school. And bold too. His teachers and counsellors were amazed at his progress. My hubby took over sending him to school in the morning during the middle of 2nd week as I had become so exhausted that my sleep became even more interrupted during the night. I even fell asleep in the office while waiting for Joel to finish school.

At first Joel was very frightened on his own. I made a tiny card that stated 'Mommie and daddy loves Joel very much!' for him to carry in his shirt pocket. And one of his teachers suggested that we put our pictures at the back of his tag which he hangs around his neck so that he could look at us when he misses us and feel better. And then I started Whatsapp-ing him while they were stuck in the jam. And after the jam, either he would call me or I would call him and we would continue our conversation until he reaches school. I also gave him a tiny, little notebook which is placed inside his pencil box. I started a story and he would continue it when he arrives in school and then I would continue it at night and he would continue it the next day and so on and so forth.

Joel became confident and has been very at home in school. His teachers say that he enjoys school and has been participating well in his lessons and games. And he did something which I did not expect. I had signed him up for martial arts during school hours. He decided that he wanted to take part in the gymnast class as he wants to learn to walk on his hands and do stuff that a male gymnast does. He went to the teacher and told him he that he wanted to go to his class. And he did this ON HIS OWN! And when I asked him to why he did it. He said this, 'I wanted to try it out first. And if I do not like it at least I have tried. But after trying it out, I have decided that I LOVE the class very much and I will continue to be in this class.' Amazing. He is really a brave boy. And he insisted on staying back after school hours for extra swimming classes.

These 3 weeks have been a great stretch of faith for me. I drive about 300 kilometers a week! I don't think I travelled 300 kilometers in these 3 years since I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis. I am exposed to all sorts of smells and chemicals at Joel's school. I have met wonderful teachers, people, parents and students. And I am in one piece. I am happy and peaceful. What's more to say? This year is going to be a truly amazing year.


2012 - A Year of Reinvention

A Challenging Day!

A Setback

A Day of Progress

Life = Driving in KV (Part 1)

Life can be akin to driving in the Klang Valley (KV). You need to be bold, fearless and full of courage. You need to be prepared to get lost as the signboards are totally 100% informative. In life, you WILL get lost! Everyone gets lost at some point of time in their life. What works for others does not necessarily works for us. Just make sure that you have a handphone and a tank full of petrol. As there are traffic jams everywhere and at any time of the day, make sure you empty your bladder before embarking on your journey, have some snacks in the car and again, make sure your petrol tank is full. In other words, prepare yourself before you go on life's colourful journey.

Driving in KV requires full concentration as there are constantly emergency brakes. The reason? We have lots of gawkers, sleepy drivers and drivers who are permanently entwined with their gadgets. Or should I say handphones. Many or rather most of the drivers today have eyes that are glued to their phones rather than on the road. And when emergency brakes occur, they are not alert enough to avert a collision. Accidents are a normal occurrence in the KV. It is a daily affair. And yet, drivers still do not learn. In life, we should have our eyes on the road of our journey. We need to pay attention to what is happening in our life. If you see a breakdown coming, take a break. If you see a collision in front of you, don't continue head on. Put the brakes on and STOP! And stop whining about wasting those 5 or 15 minutes. Be thankful that you have your life. Be grateful that you are intact! Unharmed. Alive.

I remember how my dad would sit next to me for the next few months after I had obtained my driver's license to guide and to teach me how to maneuver the car. I remember very clearly what he told me about driving around bends and big turns. He told me how my body should flow along with the turn. And if I turned to the left, my body should incline towards the left. And if I turned to the right, my body should incline towards the right. It is true that we should go with the flow in life. We should never be rigid. By inclining ourselves toward the direction that life takes us, we will be able to adapt better and to steer life in an easier manner. Why don't you be rigid when you drive the next time and try to turn that sharp bend and let's see how well you maneuver it.

To be a mature and experienced driver takes time. It is the same with life. It takes time and maturity for one to be able to handle life's unexpected hiccups and bumpy rides. If you give up on driving, you will get nowhere. Oh yes, you can always rely on our 'efficient' public transport which will cause you endless delays and many times not arriving at your destination at all. And if you give up with life, you are as good as dead. Of course shit happens. Unexpected bangs from the back or side. Breakdowns. Tyre punctures. Shattered windshields by flying pebbles. What will you do then? Give up on driving? Give in to the fear of being smashed again? Take the public transport and get derailed, delayed or not ever arriving at your destination?

The more you drive, the better you will become at it. The more you live your life in an alive manner, trust me, you will excel in life. Someway or another.


Coming soon : Life = Driving in KV(Part 2:The Top 10 Drivers That You Meet On The Road)



Robinson Crusoe's Friday

The Number Song

One, two, three, four, five
You need to be kicking and alive
All you need to do is to just dive
And once you're done, you will have your life

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
You don't ever need to pretend
To be the great Superman
To fight the boogeyman

Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen
In three years, many things I've seen
And I know fear is like gangrene
Once it infects you, your life will be far from serene

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen
Wallowing in defeat without fighting is obscene
You need to be a lean, mean fighting machine
Then you will be known as Victorious, The Queen

Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty
If you want freedom badly
You will fight for it daily
For not doing so is folly

Sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety
In life we need esprit
Though at times, life can be crappy
It too can be chirpy

One hundred is the targeted goal
Just make sure you do not fall into a manhole
Or get caught in a sinkhole
For there will be occasional hellholes
Just don't loose control
Or even your soul
And you would have scored your first goal
And realize that you have been made whole

Container Garden - An Update

Things in the garden came to a standstill due to the excessive rain. Nothing survived in the garden. I ripped everything out and amended the soil with compost and organic sheep manure. The sun has only started to shine more recently and believe me, it has been scorching hot of late.

I have sown okra seeds, bi-color corn seeds, siu pak choy seeds and red spinach seeds. Most of them have germinated. During the rainy season, I propagated MORE periwinkles as they are really beautiful flowers. The Oleander Hawk moths/caterpillars love them too. Of late, the cuttings did not survive. Root rot killed them. Only the periwinkles that grew from seeds survived.

 I am also attempting to make my own compost. I have lots of kitchen waste. They are put to good use. And I do not need to pay a bomb to buy compost. It will take 3 to 4 months for the compost to be ready. I am doing this in staggering stage.

Oleander Hawk Caterpillar

Compost in the making.

Orange Dog Caterpillar

A sea of Periwinkles

A new lemon tree (in seedling stage)

It's all about Okras!

The 1 year + lemon tree

The baby orange tree (with weeds!)

A butterfly drinking nectar from a Periwinkle flower

Spinach!

Kangkung

Garlic and Onion Chives

Jasmine flower against the blue sky