A Very Challenging Day!

So we made it to school early today. I cooked my food last night and left it in the electric pot on 'Keep Warm' mode. I woke up at 5am and boiled fresh rice and got ready. Got the little young man up at 6am and we left 10 minutes before 7am. Not without some minor hiccups though.

The little young man is braver than his kindy years. He is still nervous but overall very much bolder. He just needs a bit more time to build up his confidence. He needs a bit more time to be assured that his mommie would be fine when he is away from her. With a bit more time, patience and love, he would be fine. Time and patience is what he needs.

For me, it was an extra challenging day. The toilets reeked with the smell of cleaning detergents with the power of an atom bomb. I went in and came out in less than a minute and I could smell it in my brain even after 12 hours. I could taste the chemical-laced-strawberry-smell on my tongue. I searched for 'odour-less' toilets but all of them reeked with this horrible chemical smell. I even had to throw away the masks which I wore as the masks were saturated with it. So I spent my time walking around the school 'sniffing like a dog' for safe places to hide. And then there was some renovation which was still going on. And the paint and lacquer smells were horrendous. And the cafeteria's food smell was wafting through the school. It was 'Here smells, there smells, everywhere got smells. Evelyn cannot stand the chemical smells, Ee-yai, Ee-yai ooooh!' sung to 'Old McDonald Had A Farm' tune. 

I swallowed an extra tablet of Xyzal today to make sure nothing untoward would happen. And I hid in the administration office. I wore my masks. Of course I had rude stares and one-kind vibes coming out from some of the parents. But I have gone through so much that my skin now is as thick as an elephant's hide. My health is much more important than what people think of me. 

I had written a letter to the principal in December telling him of my medical condition and that I would need more time than is allowed to be at school for Joel to overcome his separation anxiety. Up till today, Joel still asks to whether I have died if I run an errand extra long or if I am late in returning to him. In order for Joel to be confident in this new school, the teachers would need to understand why he is so clingy to me and that he need more time than other children. Like I said earlier, all he needs is time and patience in dealing with him. And so I managed to meet the principal in person today to explain to him about what Joel had gone through and what my life is like today. And the e-mail which I wrote to him would be forwarded to all the teachers who would come into contact with Joel. They would know how to deal with him once they understand what he has been through at such a young age. 

I have made friends with a few of Joel's classmates mothers. They were very friendly and nice people and we exchanged numbers. And I told them about my condition and the need to hide behind the masks. I used to be uncomfortable about sharing. But I am not anymore. Why should I? There is nothing to be embarassed about. If people do not understand, I can share and help others to understand this little-known ailment. Even the nice ladies in the administration office know about my condition and I am allowed to hide in here and wait for the little young man. I can go and check on him and return to this safe haven.

Being a mother with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis has humbled me and yet made me so strong in my soul. I am very grateful for the lessons it has taught me. And I am waiting for the day where I go into remission and when chemicals and salicylates would not affect me anymore.






33 months ago was
The Day I Met Death