The Profession Called Stupid

So the ER doctor had told me to take pain killers and to go home. He told me to fast and to come back the next morning. The urine and blood tests came back with good results. No urine infection. Blood tests were all good.

But the pain in my bladder and back (where the kidneys are) was awful. I was in so much pain (still am). Urinating was a long process. I couldn't completely empty my bladder in one go. And the flow is so weak and slow. And it took me forever to pee. And then when I was done, I had to go to the bathroom again. I still felt that there was urine inside. Something was so very wrong!

ER doctor told me I could be admitted. I felt I should. I would not want to be rushing to the ER again in severe pain during the middle of the night. 

And so I was admitted.

I thought to myself that at least I am in a safe place with doctors who could help me with my problem. (Or so I thought. How utterly stupid and naive of me. I never learn.)

The next morning, I went to see Mr. Surgeon whom they have placed me in his care (though I had asked for an urologist as my wounds are all healed and this has nothing to do with him). 

I told him of the bladder pain and of the severe pain which had somehow radiated to the back. I told him that I have been having difficulty in peeing everything out and that it takes FOREVER for me to empty my bladder. I told him my wounds were all healed and that I had no problem with my anus. It was the bladder that is the problem now.

He then asked me to whether I had problems with my bladder prior to the surgery. I told him only when I had given birth to Joel, 9 years ago, the bladder problems started. I had no problems with the bladder whatsoever before that. I told him how I had urine infections every month for one year. And then my bladder was strengthened and became problem-free when I was recommended two supplements by my pharmacist. But when the anaphylaxis happened, all supplements had to be stopped. 

That was when the conversation became interesting.

Mr. Surgeon: Actually, you're not as sensitive as you think you are. You see, we gave you a host of medication during the operation, and you didn't react. That means you can take lots of stuff you THOUGHT you couldn't take.

You see, anaphylaxis just doesn't happen overnight and cause you to react to every single thing you come across. It doesn't happen that you could eat and use all these stuff and then WHAM! You had anaphylaxis and you couldn't take anything anymore. Anaphylaxis doesn't happen like that.

(I was shocked and lost for words. I felt as though he had slapped me).

Me: I have documentations by the doctors who treated me. I used Epi-Pens. I had steroid jabs which provided relief. Are you saying all those were fake?!!

Mr.Surgeon: All those could have been a 'placebo-effect'!

Me: Are you saying that what the immunologist told me isn't accurate? Are you saying his diagnosis of me is wrong?

Mr. Surgeon: It is not my place to say so as I am not an expert in that area.

(And yet he had no qualms in placebo-effecting my reactions!) Even after I told him that there are people like me whom I've found and that I am heading to Singapore to find an answer to all these that I went through and that I am going through, he remained skeptical. There is no doubt that he is an excellent surgeon, but an excellent surgeon is he, full stop.

I was sent for an abdominal scan. My kidneys and bladder looked fine. And it didn't bring me any closer to what I was going through.

I was sent back to my room and waited for the urologist to turn up.

So Mr. Urologist turned up.

Mr. Urologist: Why did you get yourself admitted? Your results are fine. There's nothing wrong with you. You have no urine infection. There is nothing wrong with your kidneys.

Me: I was admitted because of this severe pain that I am having in my bladder and at my back.

Mr. U: Show me where the pain is.

(I promptly showed him my bladder and also the sides of the bladder and the back)

Mr. U: That is not your bladder.

Me: I know where my bladder is! The pain RADIATES out FROM the bladder to the surrounding area! I am having this pain and I cannot pee everything out. It takes me forever to pee everything out and yet not everything comes out. I keep feeling that there is still urine in my bladder. I do not have a strong flow. It is so weak.

Mr. U: That's normal. That's not a problem. (And proceeds to educate me on how the bladder works)

(As if I don't know how the bladder works. If not I wouldn't know that I am somehow in deep shit to warrant a visit to the ER!)

Me: (Getting mighty pissed at his stupidity) How can it not be a problem????!! I have problem peeing. I have a problem of sitting on the toilet for 1/2 an hour TRYING to pee everything out. How is that even NORMAL????

Mr. U: Your tests all show otherwise. I tell you what, you worry too much. You're anxious over nothing. You worry and worry and worry to the point nothing becomes something. You're IMAGINING you have a problem. You actually don't have a problem.

(Bloody hell! I was boiling at this time).

Me: I know my body and I know when my bladder is fine or not fine. Are there no other tests you can do to check? I'm sure there is.

Mr. U: I didn't even think of any tests as I do not think you need any. It is a waste of time. 

Me: Are there any other tests or not??

Mr. U: There is the uroflow test. But it's a waste of time, I tell you. It will tell you the same thing. You're normal. 

(If I am normal, then you must have a brain).

Me: Send me for the test. I want it done.

Mr. U: Fine. Fine. If you insist. 

(Of course I insist!!!)

And so I went for the test. I was instructed to drink until my bladder was full to the brim. They measured the amount of pee I had before I was to pee into the uroflowmetry machine. I had 800ml!!! 

Sad to say, I could only pee 200ml out. 600 was still stuck inside. I tried and tried but nothing could come out. They measured the volume again in my bladder by ultrasound.

And then they sent me again for another round of pee in the uroflow. Only 200ml came out again. 400ml was still stuck. I tried and tried and tried to no avail.

The test confirmed what I was trying to tell Mr. Moron. I had a voiding problem. And the tests confirmed that I had an exceptionally weak flow of urine.

I then was sent back to my room. But Mr. Urologist had gone back home and would only see me the next morning!!!!!!!

I guess he finally came to his senses as I was prescribed Harnal OCAS (Tamlusolin Hydrochloride) at 10pm. It is a muscle relaxant for the bladder which helps with voiding problems, dribbling and interrupted/weak urine stream. I took the first tablet at 10.20pm. It's now almost 2am. I'm still alive!

The thing about this Tamlusolin hydrochloride is that it takes 4 to 6 weeks for it to work. I guess they will have to caterer the urine which is sitting stubbornly inside my bladder.

So we'll see what the morning will bring us!

'Stupid is as stupid does.'

- Forest Gump