Monday, 18 March 2013

I Can't Win, Can't I?

Ok, so yesterday I sunk into depression. Five days of continuos fever-yo-yo-ing drove me insane. I think I would have yelled, 'OFF WITH MY HEAD!' if I had the voice and strength.

So fever finally downgraded to mid-99F and I thought, 'Finally! I'm finally winning this battle!'

And then a small little thought whispered a voice, 'Uh-oh! Never jinx oneself'.

'BAH!' I replied, 'I don't believe in such rubbish'.

Demon virus started cackling from the bowels of Hades of Influenza B.


I went to bed to rest as usual at 8 something.

As usual, I could not breathe with the clogged-up nose. I took Zrytec-D to clear the clogged-up nose and to knock me out. I haven't had a good night's rest since Wednesday night. Zrytec-D took 1 1/2 hours to relieve my clogged up nose and it couldn't even knock out an ant! What more me???

And then it happened.

I could feel a talon embedded in my throat. And the talon would twitch and THAT would send me into a never-ending-coughing-spasm which could last for a duration of 20 minutes.

And when it finally stopped, I would be so exhausted but relieved that it had stopped.

Demon virus must have been rubbing its hands in glee because the never-ending-coughing-spasm kept me awake until 4am this morning. By 4am, exhausted was an understatement. I dared not even breathe in case the talon which demon virus had embedded into my throat would twitch again.

In my exhaustion, I started hallucinating that I must have been a murderer in my past life. Or even a pimp, who whacked the shit out of his prostitutes. Or a wife-stealer. Or husband-stealer. Or a politician.

You could see that demon virus was now playing with my mind.

I even told hubby that I prayed that I would die in my sleep last night.

God was deft to go deaf when I spoke that sentence. He did not hear me.

I collapsed with exhaustion.


I woke up at 8am.

Oh god. My right sinus was in searing pain until to my right ear. I knew I had developed a sinus infection. And the right part of the throat too was in searing pain.

And the mucus that came out was rust colour.

And then demon virus started twitching its talon again.

Finally at 11am, I dragged myself out of bed to make lunch. My brother too had succumbed to this virus. The hospital gave him Tamiflu. So it's only hubby left standing strong. May he be strong forever!

My hands have been shivering since the high fever. Thus, I dropped an egg on the floor (CRACK & SPLAT!), poured sugar all over the counter while cooking, forgotten whether I've added salt to the chicken, etc. It was a miracle that I did not burn the kitchen down. I seem to have memory problems these few days.

But I did manage to cook some scrambled eggs, stir-fried broccoli with carrots with sliced garlic (garlic is supposed to help chase away demon virus!) (I'll hang lots of garlic in the house tonight!), salt chicken and ABC chicken soup.

Lunch was good. Though we couldn't eat much.

I felt good!


And then a small little thought whispered a voice, 'Uh-oh! Never jinx oneself'. 

'BAH!' I replied, 'I don't believe in such rubbish'.

Demon virus started cackling from the bowels of Hades of Influenza B AGAIN!

De-ja vu! 

Within 5 minutes, demon virus twitched its talon which sent me into the usual never-ending-coughing-spasm. But demon virus took it to a new level. It made me threw up my beautiful lunch! Every single bit of it. Until all I could do was retch out air and nothing else.

I just can't win, can't I?

And then the washing of the throne and the showering and the collapsing in bed exhausted and YET, the talon would not leave me alone.


I am counting down till Friday as it would be the day my parents can come back. I banned my parents from coming home. 3 doctors told me the same thing, keep them away! They'll suffer worse then us. The elderly can develope complications. And mum is diabetic. Friday, how I love thee. Please come quickly.

I am also very glad to have a neighbour who has been cooking whenever she can for the guys. Buying food that we need. Calling and messaging us to fight on, to keep on going. She has been such a great help. No words can describe my gratefulness in her helping us. And thank you all who wrote to me telling us to fight on. 

This battle has been tough because I caught BOTH bacteria and viral infections. To top it off, the period decided to come at such wonderful timing. 

I just can't win, can't I?


  1. Rust colored mucus isn't normally infection, it's blood. Yellow or green would be infection. Maybe you are breaking blood vessels with all the coughing?

    I love eggs, but they are hard on your digestive system. Eggs are the last thing you should eat when sick.

    You poor thing! I wish I lived close and I'd take care of you.

    1. Eggs are GOOD! Hehe... It was the severe coughing that made me threw up. You wouldn't want to be near us. This one was some bug from hell.

  2. P.S. Don't give up! You CAN win. Life's a bitch, it's just the way it is.

    1. It's taking longer to win this time!

  3. Of course you can win dear Evelyn. Because I said so!

    You've always been a fighter & survivor so don't give up. You can count on your family & friends to always be right by your side.

    P/s: Sorry I couldn't find Doctor Black Jack for your cure ;p. If you're ever interested who he is: