Saturday, 16 March 2013

Nightmare on Influenza B Street - The Viral Fever From Hell!

This unwelcome visitor does not waste time in pouncing on its host. It comes with the speed of the Ferrari which leaves you blindsided. And before you know it, the virus will have you knocked down with its overbearing presence in no time.

You will NEVER be able to sleep! It will make sure that you are aware of its presence at ALL times!

Every joint and body parts will ache to the point that if anyone 'touches' you with a finger, bloody murder will be the only thing on your mind.

Anxiety and panic attacks will strike for no apparent reason.You'd think that the 'ping' sound that pinged during the middle of the night is from a group of guerrilla soldiers waiting to ambush your house.


The bed is all out to kill you.

Every step your feet steps on the floor = stepping on durians.

The only purpose of the cough is to expel your lungs out of your body.

The fever has a temperament of a woman with menopause. It will swing to extremes like the pendulum at any time of the day and when it is quiet, you'd think that the battle is finally over.

That is where you are wrong.

It will come back and scream at you like a bitch with its scorching temperature and will be all out to fry your brains; sunny side up.

Your good friend for the next one week or so will be the throne. You'll expel 'stuff' from both ends.

You'll be so dehydrated that the Sahara dessert will pale in comparison. You'll be dripping a drop or tiny drops of pee.


You'll be peeing boiling lava out.

The taste of water = water from the sewer.

Your nose is all out to suffocate you.

Your body will think that the Gangam dance is not hip enough. It thinks that the shivering dance is the coolest thing on earth.

Your body will adorn itself with a self-produced tattoo - the viral rash.

Nausea and vomiting will be your new best friends.


Your throat's only purpose is to cause you great pain. VERY great pain.

You will not need blusher. AT ALL. In fact you can be called Miss or Mr Red.

You'll adopt a new name; Little Miss or Mr Sensitive. Every single sound will be amplified 100x. The toilet bowl flush will resemble the Niagara Falls. The neighbour's kids' laughter will sound like the cackling of witches. The stirring of the spoon in the mug will sound like the contractor's polishing tiles with his grinding machine. The neighbour's cuckoo clock will be so damn bloody irritating that you will feel like blowing it to bits with a shotgun.

You will be able to do spells. It is called The Dizzy Spells.

Your stomach will behave in only one manner. Revolts at the sight of any food.

My ways in overcoming this nightmare:

1. Showering

Easier said than done. Even the water spray from the shower hurts!!!!!! Even warm water is so freaking COLD! Cold is an understatement. But this will help lower your body temperature. The doctors recommend it. By showering, you'll show the fever who the BOSS is. If it comes back to scream at you like a bitch with its scorching temperature, you shut it up with tons of water.

2. Move

Moving a little bit at a time helps. Slowly shuffling to the toilet, to the dining table, back to the bed. Of course this feels like scaling Mount Everest at the moment. But moving helps. A bit of blood circulation will help the body to recover faster.

3. Hydrate Yourself

Drink lots of fluid. And I don't mean alcohol. Lots of barley and water. Some doctors recommend 100Plus. Though water tastes like sewer, you have no choice. For Joel, he drank ORS. Lots of it.

4. Eat

Even a small bite will do. Easier said than done. But seriously, if you don't eat, you can't fight. That is what I have been doing. It's not much, 2 tablespoons of rice, a ladle of soup. A bit of crackers. Better than nothing.

5. Wash Up!

After every puke or episodes of diarrhea, WASH the throne and surrounding area/bathroom. And then bathe. This will prevent the virus from spreading to the other occupants of the house.

6. Air-Circulation

Open ALL windows and doors to allow fresh air to circulate in the house. And also switch on every single purifier/ioniser you have in the house!

7. REST!

8. And if you can, get Tamiflu.

I went through worse than my son, because being a person with Idiopathic Anaphylaxis, I'm not sure whether Tamiflu would heal or kill me. But Joel recovered at a faster pace than me. I'm still having fever and it's the fourth day!

So, what good comes out of this? You'll lose tons of weight.

The downside?

Immunity for 2 or 3 months! After going through hell, you would think 1 year or lifelong immunity would be good!

People with impaired immune system or diabetics must avoid us at all cost! It can lead to complications should they get infected. Yes, even the elderly.

Ah yes, before I forget, the virus will leave you with a forget-me-not present, before it really goes away. It will attack your muscles. Especially the calf muscles and leave you with a walking impairment for a few days. Joel was unable to stand when he woke up this morning. His calves couldn't support his weight. He has been shuffling like the zombies in the 'Walking Dead' and 'Plants vs Zombies'. His father carries him up and down the stairs or supports him when he walks. I on the other hand have been walking like an old woman with severe osteoarthritis. I'm bent over. My whole body feels as though I have been in mortal combat and kick boxing classes. My shoulders and knees are stiff. I can't bend my knees and I can't lift my arms.

Truly a nightmare.

Oh, yes, did I tell you that it could lead to meningitis and pneumonia for kids and for the adults, encephalitis and pneumonia?

Freddy Krueger is not so bad, eh?

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