4 Weeks!

4 weeks ago I had my ass cut. Has it really been 4 weeks? Time really just flew by.

Pain is still a constant companion. Bladder control has improved but still is weak. Holding my urine is still a problem. Without the barley, my bladder would be in deeper shit. Barley somehow soothes the spasms and makes it not painful to urinate.

Bowel movements are stressful as the pain is very much alive. And it has become twice a day. And sometimes it's thrice a day! Which will be a problem in the near future as I have to be on the road at the time of the second and third bowel movement. Am in a dilemma to how to regulate the bowel movements to pre-surgery times which is once a day!

The gastric came back in full force. I have recanted my stand of not having porridge in a long time! The porridge soothed the stomach and the gastric became better though not totally eradicated.

Sleeping is still a problem. It's either 'I'm-so-tired-that-I-just-zonk-out-at-10pm-and-wake-up-at-2am-wide-awake' or 'I can't sleep until 4am'. I have not had a good night's rest since the surgery. And then there are the nightmares which scare the shit out of me. Nightmares such as where my stitches just burst. Or where the surgeon discovers that he has not completed the surgery and proceeds to shove a plastic pipe up my ass and cuts up more anus and rectum. (I jumped up in fright from that nightmare.)

I think my body is under such stress that my hormones are pretty screwed at the moment. I have been staining and then period for 2 days and then it comes back with staining and then another full flow and then disappears again. And it has been going on since the surgery.

The intensity of the pain has definitely lessened. Or maybe I have been successful in numbing myself!

And that is where I am, at 4 weeks.