The nurses at the recovery bay told me to not come down from the bed even though I felt the anesthetic had worn off. My knees could buckle and I could fall. It was only 5 to 6 hours later that I could get up and that with assisted help.
At about 11pm, the night nurse told me that I had to pee. It was a must that patients had to pee. They would be given 'assistance' if they did not pee!! No way was I gonna get pricked with a catheter. (If only I knew what was coming!)
I tried the bed pan but not a drop came out. Mum and dad held me at each side, and slowly, we slowly hobbled to the toilet. I tried to pee while sitting on the toilet bowl and nothing came out. So I stood trying to pee. Wrong move. After managing two very weak trickles out, I felt myself blacking out. I felt myself getting light headed and Mum saw that my lips was as white as a ghost and that I was about to pass out any moment. They somehow managed to get me back to bed and I just lied down curled up in some fetal position trying to stay conscious. Thank God I did not pass out.
So the spinal anesthetic lasted until about 11+pm.
Then came the PAIN!
My anus felt as though it had a lighter burning it continuously. And the intensity of the fire grew stronger and stronger. It went on the whole night. I was afraid to ask for a painkiller as anything might have happened during the night and I was afraid that no one would know. I saw the clock ticking ever so slowly. 1.10am. 1.13am. 1.15am.
'Oh God!!!! The PAIN!!!!!!!!!!'
The doctors had instructed that I be given a 50mg Tramadol painkiller if the pain was too excruciating. It is a distant cousin of Betadine which I am supposed to be able to take. Almost 5 years of pain-killer free. I really did not know whether I would react or not.
I was gripping the railing so hard I think if I was Wolvwrine or the Hulk, I would have twisted the whole railing out. I was literally paralysed in searing pain. The surgeon was right that the pain would be excruciating and that a painkiller is definitely needed. I felt that iron claws were ripping my anus out.
Finally at 6am, exhausted and definitely thoroughly bested by the pain, I begged the nurse to give me a tablet of Tramadol and put me under observation. I couldn't go on. I was so weak from the pain. Every single movement felt like an avalanche or earthquake-magnitude of pain. All I was feeling, tasting or even smelling was PAIN. Nothing but pain.
The relief came and I was so grateful for the relief. I have forgotten what it's like to have a pain-killer. I managed to doze off for about an hour before the painkiller wore off. They dare not give me any stronger dosage. And by 8.30am, I was begging them for another dose. I now understand how people can get addicted to painkillers. The pain was just too unbearable. I mean I have given birth without painkillers and the post-op of my appendix was pain-killer free too. I could withstand those pain. But this was certainly some kind of twisted pain! Laughing and jeering at all of its helpless and hapless victims. Or maybe I'm older now. Not as strong as I used to be.
I would have to wait for 10am for the next dose as it needed to be 4hours later. Dear God. And yet somehow, I managed to pee twice in the bowl.
The surgeon then came by and told the nurses to remove the tubing that was inside my anus which was draining the blood and post-op drainage. And then I had to sit in a sitz bath.
Wh.. What?!!! I have something shoved up my anus???!!!
I didn't know about that!!!!!!
I knew the hell that was coming next. Imagine pulling out a tubing from a newly surgical wound.
Nothing in life prepared me for that kind of pain.
When she took the tubing out, I cried. I literally cried. From the pain. I was on the verge on passing out from the pain. The nurse was so apologetic and held my hand after that, comforting me. I couldn't move. I think you can see my finger marks on the railing of the bed. I was paralysed with pain. I mean, last night's 6 hours of pain was nothing compared to what had just happened. And then I had to go soak my wound in sea-salt water.
The nurse was so comforting and nice. She stood next to all the while patting my shoulder while I was soaking my ass in the basin. I was a whimpering mess. Oh God. The Pain!
This happened in the morning. And by late afternoon, the pain lessened considerably. Doctor was pleased that I was peeing and that the pain had lessened. I didn't take the painkiller at 10am. I didn't take any painkillers at all after that.
Thus, I was discharged!
Hallelujah! Or so I had thought.
If only I had a premonition of the hell that would come.
(To be continued...)