Sunday, 29 December 2013

The Top 5 'Butt-di-cu-lous' Things That People Do After A Hemorrhoidectomy

Back then whenever I managed to catch David Letterman's show, I would always wait for his Top Ten list. Some of them were really hilarious.

Hence after reading tons of forums on how to survive a hemorrhoidectomy, here are my Top 5 Ridiculous 'Butt-di-cu-lous' Things That People Do After A Hemorrhoidectomy:

5. Heading To A Burger Joint Immediately After Discharge

Reason? They felt 'fine'! And then the 'fine' became 'not fine' and they moan and groan about the hell that they went through. DUH!

4. Lifting Weights At The Gym

Even though they are still in pain! And then they complain that the bleeding had started all over again and that they were so much in pain the next day that they couldn't walk! Are they that desperate to be Arnold-I'll-Be-Back wannabe or what? DUH!

3. Having SEX

Yes. SEX. In like 7 days after surgery. Are you guys rabbits or what?! Sorry, all I could think of or feel or breathe was pain. Definitely not even on my list of things to do before I die during those times of pain.

And then they said the dull pain returned. DUH!

2. The Toilet Paper Issue

I don't understand to how could anyone attempt to wipe a wound with toilet paper after a bowel movement. Seriously, are you for real?! Why don't you use sandpaper instead? Or even better, the kitchen gauze. Or the cactus. You have had surgery and stitches and bleeding and swelling and you wipe it with toilet paper...

And then you scream and moan and almost passed out from the pain. DUH!

1. Holding Off Bowel Movements for 10 Days!

I can't even hold it for 10 seconds after the operation. These people must be awarded with the World Guiness Book of Records! Hats off to these people!!!



    People are so stupid. Heading to a burger joint. I don't know how many people have told me after they have a major operation they go back to eating the junk food that caused it. I just want to scream "ARE YOU BRAIN DEAD?"

    I'm so happy you are being snarky...I think that means you are feeling better!

    Thanks for the funnies.

    1. Yeah, snarki-ness and sarcasm are back! Hehehe...

      Yes, I am feeling better. Thanks!