1/2 the day in bed, bathroom and bathroom!
I found this on the internet and thought that it was so apt for me!
So here it is:
'Even though it may take weeks,
To heal the wound between between your cheeks,
I provide this rule of thumb,
To nurse your recuperating bum.
Though it has been said, it bears repeating;
Nothing but canned soup for eating.
Vegetable and chicken noodle,
To soothe your battered, aching poodle.
Fruit will get your bowels a-grooving,
Before you know it, you'll be up and a-moving.
Rest your arse and you'll get better,
Knit yourself a Christmas sweater.
Or yet better, get some sleep,
Your nether regions have been probed deep.
Exercise is out of the question!
Beware of any such suggestions.
No unicycles, horseback riding,
Leapfrog, bowling or ninja fighting.
Heed my advice and don't be foolish,
The results may be so very ghoulish.
Another hemorrhoid may astonish,
And your doctor shall certainly admonish.
To avoid a thrombose so abrupt,
Keep your cool and bottoms up!!!'
*taken from here