Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Fighting the Idiopathic Phantom

T.I.R.E.D. Overwhelmingly tired. Or should I say exhausted to the brink of insanity. Immensely, weary to the bone. Depleted of strength and energy. It is like waking up everyday, putting on the whole chunky-clunky armour and then going into the battlegrounds, swishing that heavy sword blindly into the air. It is akin to going to battle to fight against phantoms. It is like fighting in the fog. Random sword stabbings here and there, and a swish here and then maybe there. And after tiring yourself out, you find out that you are not even close to victory and that the enemy is still out there somewhere. And yet you are nowhere near to identifying what, who or when the next attack will happen. And the exhaustion is just so great that you collapse in bed and instead of knocking out in sleep, you are slapped with insomnia. And there are times when you have not even fully gotten out of the armour, that you hear the battle horn blaring again.

So how do we fight this? This so-called ‘idiopathic anaphylaxis’ that seems to be plaguing more and more people as the days pass by. One day we are enjoying the sun, the next second turning blue, collapsing and dropping dead. Doctors tell us that there is absolutely no cure, absolutely no idea with what is wrong with us and that the only thing that can give us a chance at life when we get an attack is the Epi-Pen. Without the Epi-Pen, it is definitely death, without a doubt. It is like an inhaler for an asthmatic.

So we trudge on. We put ‘life’ on hold while we fight for our lives. We start charting everything from what we eat, what we use, what we are exposed to and even what we smelt! We avoid all sorts of chemicals, chemically-shrouded-people-and-places, eat only organic and ‘chemical-free’ food, and basically regress back to the times when man lived in caves.

People tell us all the time that humanity should and ought to live like we do. ‘That is how people should actually live their lives you know; organically and chemical-free,’ a friend said. Well let me tell you how ‘organically’ and ‘chemical-free’ one can actually achieve in today’s world.

There are pollutants in the air. So if you are a living being, you will be breathing in pollutants. The only solution? Sell everything and travel deep into the Amazonian jungles and settle in with the tribal people. That is if they do not kill you for food first. Then maybe, you will be ‘pollutant-free’. I was thinking of the North Pole at first, but even the glaciers are melting by the green house effect. Not.A.Good.Choice.

The water that we drink everyday contains god-knows-what. I mean we have acid rain. Acid rain rains down into water dam. Water into dam goes into reservoir. Water is then distributed to people. Oh, didn’t you know that the water is treated before it is supplied to the people. How do you treat chemicals? By using more chemicals? Isn’t that ironic? And what do the people end up with then? Some would then say, ‘Drink only bottled mineral water!’ Are you 100 percent sure that the process of obtaining mineral water, bottling it and selling it do not contain chemicals? Oh, and that plastic bottle is made of chemicals and reek chemicals into the water when it is placed in the heat!

And so this acid rain gets rained down on our crops and into the ground. The pollutants in the air are absorbed by the plants. Which brings me to my question. How then can we label our crops ‘organic’? Of course it is pesticide and insecticide free! But they still contain chemicals. The vegetables that we plant do breathe you know. And it absorbs the poison that saturates the air. So how can we actually live a chemical-free life in today’s world? Think about it. How can people like me, with ‘idiopathic anaphylaxis’ or ‘multiple-chemical-sensitivities’ win our battles when we have in fact been long gone into the slaughter-house. We don’t even have any idea to who is slaughtering us. We just woke up one day and there we were in that people-killing-place. And there seems to be no exit doors in sight.

Like my immunologist/allergist who jokingly said to me, ‘Maybe you should live in a ball!’ I think I have an even better idea. Maybe I should buy a chemical-free spacesuit and breathe from tanks that supply ‘organic air’ and blast off to Mars where I can plant chemical-free plants, and maybe live happily ever after. With the chemical-free Martians of course!


  1. We might just have to move to Mars someday when planet Earth is destroyed.....

  2. hmm...it's true that it's not possible to live in a 100% organic life, not in KL anyway....

    have you tried self-hypnosis? our bodies react to what think and say. For example, if you keep talking to yourself to be positive, and also "tell" your body to adapt to the environment, food etc...and of course, you have to believe your body is listening...

    it might sounds really silly, but there is something about human's subconscious mind is yet to be explored by human/scientist...and there is preliminary finding that our body do "listen" to what we say....

    something worth to try/believe :-)

  3. @Tammie: It will be destroyed just like Earth. The moment there are humans, that place is a goner.

    @Lily: I am thinking of yoga! :) Thanks Lily!